Crap-Shooting

The other day I got a letter from my life insurance company, and the first sentence was a friendly “We hope you’re enjoying the benefits of your policy.”

I thought, “Oh, that’s nice…”

Then I realized that in order to ‘enjoy the benefits’ of a life insurance policy, I’d have to die.  Exactly what were they trying to say there?

I’m ambivalent about insurance anyway.  I’ve always considered myself an optimist, but buying insurance means I’m basically betting that something bad is going to happen to me.  The insurance companies (the true optimists, apparently) are betting that everything’s going to be fine.  This completely messes up my worldview.

I won’t get started about how insurance companies stubbornly pretend everything is still fine even after you submit a claim.  That’s a different rant, but I will say this:  If you want the most comprehensive list of weasel-words ever compiled, take a look at the wording of an insurance policy.

But I suppose policy wordings aren’t actually that much different than playing poker:  The rules are set out before the cards are dealt, and you can ante up if you want. I’d just feel better about the whole thing if it wasn’t my own wellbeing in the pot.

If I’d saved up all the money I’d spent (and will spend in the future) on insurance, I wouldn’t need the insurance.  But I don’t dare cancel it, because I haven’t saved up all that money.  And with Murphy and his Law breathing down my neck, I just know that if I cancelled, I’d somehow manage to launch my vehicle into the middle of our living room the very next day, destroying the car and house and leaving myself disabled with huge medical bills.  And I’d probably run over somebody in the process, so I’d get sued into the bargain.

Hmm.  Maybe I’m not as much of an optimist as I thought.

Anyhow, insurance might be a crapshoot, but here’s a sure thing:  We have a cover and release date for Book 14!

The big day is Wednesday, March 27, and pre-orders should be available by this weekend.  (If you’ve signed up for my New Book Notification list, you’ll get an email with all the purchasing links.)

Here’s the big reveal:

Secret agent Aydan Kelly’s supposedly-dead mother Nora has resurfaced after thirty years, and the chain of command assigns Aydan to investigate her for treason.  With only two weeks before Nora leaves the country under diplomatic immunity, Aydan struggles to piece together her mother’s questionable past.

Two days into Aydan’s investigation Nora announces she’s leaving early, and Aydan’s director gives her an ultimatum:  Solve the case before Nora escapes, or face imprisonment for dereliction of duty.  Meanwhile, an unknown enemy is stalking Aydan’s friends and the threats are escalating. 

When time runs out and prison walls loom, claustrophobic Aydan must make an unthinkable choice: Sacrifice her friends, or lose her freedom forever.

38 Comments

Filed under Humour, Life

38 responses to “Crap-Shooting

  1. Secret agent Aydan Kelly’s supposedly-dead mother Nora has resurfaced after thirty years
    Mommy, Mommy, I don’t want to visit Grandma
    Shut up and keep digging.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Donna

    I am so looking forward to book 14, I will start rereading them next week as I am rereading JD Robb just now. Thank heavens for holiday insurance my husband had to go A&E when we were in Fort Myers Beach, Florida and he got one injection for pain and one anti nausea and a tummy scan. The staff were very nice and when he was discharged 4 hours later they did not understand my Scottish accent so they sent the bill to our home and not the insurance company. We nearly ended up with heart attacks it was for $13,000 . We sent to the insurance company and hopefully they will pay it all. We do not appreciate our national health service enough here in the UK. I hope that you have a nice break from writing to enjoy your garden this spring so I won’t say anything about book 15 (yet). Love your books and look forward to your blog every Wednesday evening.

    Like

    • YIKES! $13,000 for four hours!?! Every day I give thanks that we live in Canada, where our emergency care is covered. I hope your insurance company comes through for you.

      And thank you so much for your kind words! I enjoy blogging, so it’s lovely to hear that you enjoy reading my weekly silliness. 🙂 It’s okay to hint about Book 15, too — it’s already percolating away in my mind. I’m hoping to be able to balance a bit of writing with a bit of gardening, because I enjoy them both equally!

      Are you gardening already on your side of the pond?

      Like

  3. One other thing…when shooting craps, nobody EVER brings a big enough gun. Just sayin’…

    Like

  4. Michelle

    I’m so glad the release date is only a couple of weeks away because after reading that synopsis I am dying to read it!! Great cover too. Thank you!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m so glad you like the cover and synopsis! I always struggle with writing the cover blurb — it’s so hard to compress 130,000 words into 100 while keeping it coherent and (hopefully) interesting. Thanks for your encouragement! 🙂

      Like

  5. Barbara Vernon

    Murphy’s law and the Peter Principle. two we should not have to deal with. (My daughter wants a bumper sticker that says insurance companies rule the world.)
    and just where is that Philadelphia lawyer when you need him. about 10 words would work but holy moly, they toss in a few thousand that mean absolutely zip.
    Having a hard time waiting for 14. Think I will start over from 1.

    Like

    • I’m so flattered that you think the series is worth re-reading – thank you! Now I’ll be smiling for the rest of the day! 🙂

      And you’re definitely right about Murphy and Peter!

      Like

  6. Wow a riveting description of Book 14! Love the cover too! As to insurance don’t even get me started as one who travels a great deal. Now there is a business where you can burn through a lot of money. But the minute you don’t take you it your are likely to e patience a broken arm on the other side of the world and the airline you have booked with hoes bankrupt. Ugh!

    Like

  7. jenny_o

    Knock on wood, we’ve never had a bad experience with our insurance company. Then again, we’ve only had to make a couple of claims and they were straightforward. Now I’m wondering what h*ck awaits us if there’s anything major!

    The cover for your new book is wonderful, Diane! And the blurb is very intriguing . . .

    Like

    • Thanks, @jenny_o! Our homeowners and vehicle insurance has been pretty straightforward (except for one bad experience); but our health care insurance unfailingly drives me bonkers.

      Knock on wood, too – I’ve never had to make a disability claim, and hope to keep it that way. And I don’t really want to find out how accommodating our life insurer is, either. 😉

      Like

  8. Looking forward to your book.

    Life insurance is a bit weird. One benefit of it is being able to say, “It’s okay, I’m insured.” I am sure that Murphy is working to ensure that my plan to have a finical safety net for my wife is never needed. I also carry a lot of liability insurance so I can tell people – “It’s okay, I’m insured for this, my insurance company will cover the damage.”

    Like

    • Yep, it’s nice to be able to tell people that – as long as they trust your insurance company it’s all good. And Hubby and I always joke that we don’t want to have too much life insurance, just in case our spouse decides that we’re worth more dead than alive. 😉

      Liked by 2 people

  9. Duane Beard

    Hi Diane, Good points all!! An old crony of mine who sold insurance encapsulated the whole scam for me in a single sentence, “we cover everything but your loss”! Keep smilin’,Duane.

    Like

    • Ha! That’s a perfect summation of the insurance industry! After far too many wrangles with them, I can’t even talk about insurance “coverage” without ranting. But it’s nice when they do (occasionally) pay out. Our homeowner’s policies have always been fair, but health and disability are… Okay, I won’t get started. But at least I got a laugh from your comment! 🙂

      Like

  10. Here in the less civilized world we also need lots of health insurance, because if we get sick or need some maintenance they will take everything we own. Life insurance works because we all die sooner or later and someone will benefit from it.
    The new book sounds terrific!

    Like

    • Thanks, @jono! And you’re right — as I was writing this I was thinking of what it must be like to live in the States where every single doctor’s visit costs a bomb. It’s so nice not to have to choose between breaking the bank or suffering. We still have to pay for dental and eye exams and drug prescriptions, but our doctor’s appointments and emergency treatments are (mostly) covered. I love Canada!

      Like

  11. Gad, another glorious spell-binder! I can hardly wait! And you were able to get the same smokin’ hot anonymous model, too! Always a good omen! SO looking forward to diving in!

    Oh, and about the insurance thing. Murphy was an optimist. As well as a sadistic scumbag.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Cathy Norris

    Every birthday my insurance agent sends me a card that includes a tea bag. I think he is hoping that a relaxing cup of tea will somehow delay my demise for another year, thus ensuring another yearly premium and deferring my collection of the insurance proceeds. So far I am still here, so perhaps it works.
    I am very excited about the upcoming book release. Looking forward to March 27!

    Like

    • Couldn’t they send you something a bit stronger than a tea bag? Seems like a swizz to me.
      But I don’t have life insurance

      Liked by 1 person

    • A tea bag – that’s hilarious! I can’t imagine the thought process that went into that: “Hmm, what can we send that will seem like a gift, but won’t cost more than a couple of pennies? Aha! A tea bag! But just one. Wouldn’t want to get carried away…”

      But at least you get a free cup of tea. That’s more than my insurance companies have ever given me. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Diane I love you I’ll have it to take to Spain you wonderful woman you mwah

    Cover looks fab

    Does a mini time bending dance be next week for Paris again, when go slow so I can enjoy it and then fast so I can go to Spain with a new book

    Liked by 1 person

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