Thanks to @jenny_o at Procrastinating Donkey blog for my topic this week: Hair.
I’ve had long hair almost all my life, mostly because I’m too lazy to style it and too cheap to pay for regular haircuts. It’s a practical solution: I can go camping for days and my hair still looks okay, my head and ears are always toasty warm, and I don’t even notice rain until about ten minutes after it starts.
But there are a few disadvantages:
Shedding: Studies show that everybody sheds 50 to 100 hairs per day. If those hairs are only an inch long it’s not too bad; but each of my hairs is at least 24 times that. I’m constantly cleaning hairballs out of the vacuum brush and dragging hair-bunnies out of the corners (and the shower drain).
Safety: If I’m anywhere near rotating machinery, I’m obsessive about keeping my hair secured up and out of the way. But even in so-called ‘safe’ environments, whiplash is always a possibility. I’ve nearly wrenched my own head off by slamming the car door on my hair as I’m getting inside. (Funny how that only seems to happen when there’s an audience…)
Embarrassment: I once spent an entire interview secretly battling a chair. Every time I leaned back, my hair got caught in the chair. Then I’d try to nod, get jerked to a halt, and have to lean forward to pull my hair free. I don’t know whether the interviewer thought I was making an embarrassingly awkward attempt at flirting or suffering from some bizarre physical tic; but I didn’t get that job.
The Ick Factor: I’ve had a lot of icky stuff in my hair over the years, from twigs to bugs to random food items. Forget the old cliché of broccoli in your teeth; you don’t know humiliation until you’ve sat through an entire business dinner-meeting with a stray green bean dangling from your hair.
The Tickle Factor: Long hairs tickle. Especially after they’ve dropped off your head and lodged in your bra, or worse, your underwear. Imagine walking in a crowded mall, trying not to squirm while one insanely ticklish hair teases your butt crack. If you ever catch a long-haired woman frantically groping down the back of her pants, now you’ll know why. (That’s my best guess. If it’s not that, we probably don’t want to know.)
And, @jenny_o, your poem inspired my own small attempt at a rhyming haiku:
I’ve got lots to spare
And yes, I am glad it’s there
But it’s ev’rywhere!
Book 14 update: We’re doing the cover photography this week, so stay tuned for a release date and cover reveal soon!