The other day we were having supper when Hubby mentioned that the recently revamped Canada Food Guide shows a plate consisting of 1/2 fruits and vegetables, 1/4 protein sources, and 1/4 whole grains. As we chowed down on a particularly delicious pork roast with gravy, I inquired, “And what about the ‘gravy’ food group?”
“They didn’t mention that,” he said, looking up from his plate, which was neatly divided into half meat and half mashed potatoes drenched in pork-flavoured fatty goodness.
Clearly there’s been a mistake somewhere, because gravy is an essential food group. But if it isn’t shown on the official Food Guide Plate, that must mean…
Hey, it’s a beverage!
That would work for me. I eat a healthy diet with lots of whole grains and fruits and vegetables, but gravy is a non-negotiable part of my meals. And so is ice cream, which is basically just sweet frozen gravy, amIright?
Mmmm, and now I’m imagining porksicles — frozen pops made of pork gravy. (Not to be confused with cocksicles, which have been a serious risk for the male population during this latest -50C attack of the polar vortex.)
But, see, when temperatures are cold, you need extra calories and hot drinks. Gravy offers both, in one convenient and delicious serving!
So if the Powers That Be have eliminated gravy from a ‘healthy’ diet, well, too bad. We’re all going to die sooner or later; so if something has to kill me, it might as well be gravy.
Ah, Gravy, my sweet nemesis. I know you’ll get me in the end, but you’re so worth it!
Book 14 update: Hooray for beta readers — this book is getting whipped into shape! Off to do more revisions now…