Peer pressure is a terrible thing. I’ve been successfully resisting it for months, but my resolve has slowly eroded under the relentless burden of my readers’ expectations. So here it is; the post you’ve (apparently) all been waiting for: “We’re All Free! And Naked!”
Don’t look at me like that. Hell, I don’t know what I’m talking about, either.
“We’re all free! and naked!” has been the top search phrase that has brought people to my blog ever since I posted “We’re All Naked” back in January. (If you’ve just arrived here because you searched “We’re all free! and naked!”, I’ll apologize in advance – “We’re All Naked” does include a link to some mostly-obscured YouTube nudity, but unless you’re turned on by drunk hairy naked guys singing scatological lyrics, it’s probably not what you’re looking for.)
Back to the topic at hand: Since January, “We’re all free! and naked!” has brought people here four times more often than my next most popular search term (my name). And every week, the numbers keep going up.
I ignored the phenomenon for several months, afraid of what I might find if I delved into it too deeply. I assumed it was just a temporary aberration, but it’s still there. Still far and away the top search phrase that brings people to my blog.
When I finally gathered sufficient courage to search it myself, the search engines only returned a link to my own post, “We’re All Naked”. So what the hell is everybody looking for? I know I hold the dubious distinction of being the top search engine result for “Polar Bear Sex Club”, but at least I did actually use those words.
‘Free and naked’, not so much. But it’s gotta be something pretty specific. Even the punctuation is the same, over and over and over.
So if you got here by searching “We’re All Free! And Naked!”, I’m sorry I can’t be of more help. If you’re looking for nudie pictures, you’ll be sorely disappointed. (Though probably not as disappointed as if I’d actually posted some. Trust me, you don’t want to see that.)
My books have some hot scenes in them, but somehow I suspect that’s not what you’re looking for, either.
If you’re looking for support for a cause, I’m all for freedom and I have no particular objection to nudity, unless it’s my own nudity. In that case, I have to apply all sorts of caveats involving protection from sunshine, rain, snow, wind, bug bites, allergy-producing plants, prickly foliage, splintery wood, hot/cold/sharp objects, overly interested observers, and a plethora of other conditions that essentially limit my nudity to “indoors in privacy”.
Anyway, if you’re one of the folks who came looking for something else, and if you’re still reading, I’m sorry you didn’t find what you’re looking for. But welcome anyway. Who knows, if you look around here a bit, you might get a chuckle or two for your trouble.
And please tell me what you were really looking for. If that many people are searching for it, it must be good.
Hope you find it…