A couple of weeks ago, one of our senators caused a kerfuffle when she took verbal potshots at our national animal, the beaver. Calling it a “dentally defective rat” and a “toothy tyrant”, she suggested that we should change our national animal to the “noble” and much more photogenic polar bear. Righteous indignation and off-colour jokes abounded.
According to the online poll at CBC, 78.54% of respondents thought the beaver should stay. Comments sections were overwhelmed by thousands of responses. Most of the male writers stated a particular fondness for beavers, though many accidentally omitted the ‘s’. A mere oversight, I’m sure. Female respondents in general tended to exhort the good senator to leave their beavers alone.
In keeping with the typical ugliness of celebrity confrontations, the love lives of the contenders were brought into question, too. Many observed that polar bears will pretty much screw anything that moves, while beavers mate for life, thereby cementing the beaver’s reputation as a morally superior mammal. (No word on the senator’s love life at this time.)
To add to the mud-flinging, photos worthy of the most sordid tabloids were posted, showing a frowsy beaver with a deranged expression, contrasted with a soft-focus photo of a snowy-white, perfectly-groomed polar bear. In retaliation, the polar bear’s weight problem was identified and cruelly ridiculed.
Almost as cruelly ridiculed was the senator herself. The general consensus was that we should keep the beaver and ditch the senate.
In other news, I noticed an article about farmers hunting beavers to save their land from the destructive flooding caused by dams. No eyebrows were raised over this article, though. It’s not exactly news that much time, energy, and money is expended in the hunt for beaver. Or, um… beavers.
P.S. I’m still with my step-mom while she undergoes chemo this week, so I may be slow in responding to comments, and I might not make it around to comment on my favourite blogs. I’m still thinking of you, though. Thanks for visiting!