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Last year my doctor recommended that I get an Apple watch so I could track my heart rate while they investigated me for atrial fibrillation. It turned out that my cardiac issues were only temporary and my heart is just fine, which pleased me to no end. So the Apple watch had served its purpose after only a few months; and I had an expensive watch that I didn’t particularly want or need.
I’m a cheapskate, so my choices were a) sell the watch on Facebook marketplace at a ridiculous discount; or b) use the watch. I chose (b), because I’m so cheap that the idea of losing money on a sale was more repugnant than learning to use a watch with more features than every other device in my household combined.
At least some of those features are handy. Back in the good old days before I hurt my back, I would often spend 14-hour days at the computer. I got up for brief meal-and-bathroom breaks, but otherwise I was utterly absorbed by my screen. These days I still get absorbed by my screen, but only until my back or legs demand a new position. The watch’s regular reminders are a convenient way to make sure I stand up and move around before I get to the point where I can’t stand up and move around.
Sometimes, though, the watch’s smarmy little motivational messages annoy me, and its reminders baffle me. This watch has a GPS that knows where and how fast I walk, plus its sensors are supposed to be smart enough to detect if I’ve fallen or been in a car accident. So why does it remind me to stand up when I’m already using my standing desk? And why does it award me exercise points when I’m driving in my car? Does it really think I’m capable of sprinting at 100 km/hr for twenty minutes?
Best of all was the time I was perched on the throne in the bathroom and my watch sounded its happy little chime: “It’s time to stand up!”
I burst out laughing. Trust me, it was really not the time to stand up.
But I guess I’d have gotten a major butt-pucker if my watch actually knew what I was doing at that moment. Or worse, if it made a perky motivational comment about my *ahem* activities.
Hmmm, now I’m envisioning a whole new set of motivational messages for the Apple watch:
- “Good job!”
- “Just a little longer, and you’ll break your personal record!”
- “Congratulations! You just achieved a perfect streak!”
Ew. Or maybe not.
What’s motivating you this week?
Book 18 update: I’m halfway through Chapter 9, and Aydan has just been reminded again of why she never wanted a career as a public servant.








