It’s been a while since the universe offered me any naughty news; but apparently my dry spell is over. I came across several snicker-worthy items this month.
The first arrived courtesy of the normally-staid CBC: An article about a startlingly phallic iceberg, spotted and photographed by a man from (appropriately enough) Dildo, Newfoundland: https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/newfoundland-labrador/oddly-shaped-iceberg-nl-1.6825578. I laughed myself silly(er), of course. Every now and then nature delivers a whopper that even I wouldn’t have imagined.
That fine upstanding dickie-berg must have lingered in my subconscious, because only a few days later I was working on Book 18 when my fingers ran ahead of my brain. Yes, Virginia, there is a BIG difference between ‘a long moment’ and ‘a long member’. I corrected the typo, giggling all the while.
Now brace yourself for the weird:
Y’know how a couple of years ago I mentioned that my brain occasionally spews random words for no apparent reason? Well, it happened again. I was sitting at my keyboard, minding my own business, when my brain suddenly blurted, “Tanimura and Antle!”
Wha-a-a-a-t???
Despite my perplexity, those names had a familiar ring; but I couldn’t quite place them. When I did an internet search, I discovered that Tanimura & Antle is a company that grows produce in California. I’d never heard of them before. Or so I thought.
Then, gradually, memory trickled back. I’d bought their brand of romaine lettuce… when I lived in Calgary. Which makes it at least six years ago, probably more. For the record, I don’t shop for lettuce by brand. I go to the store and buy whatever they’ve got. I couldn’t imagine why that tongue-twisting brand name had stuck with me; and I especially couldn’t imagine why it had suddenly popped into my mind nearly a decade later.
But then comprehension struck: It was simply the universe completing the dirty-mind trifecta. All those long years ago, Tanimura & Antle had a different logo, and apparently that poke from the dickie-berg had jarred the memory loose: Their lettuce used to be emblazoned with ‘T&A’ in a stylized font. And my puerile brain never forgot it.
If only I could apply that level of recall to something that was actually important!
Book 18 update: My concentration has been shattered by an out-of-control wildfire less than 10 miles from our house, so writing progress has been slo-o-o-w while I obsessively check the smoky skies and watch for evacuation alerts. But I’m hanging in as best I can, and the zany gang from the Weapons Lab is making Chapter 4 fun to write! Stay tuned…
Author Diane Henders 
Isn’t it crazy what our brains hold onto? You made me laugh once again 🙂
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I’m glad you got some laughs! I just wish my brain would hold onto more useful data. 🙂
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Even though I haven’t been here commenting for awhile, I’ve been watching the fire reports from BC and hoping you were safe. Fire is scary stuff, so unpredictable (at least to us laypeople) and all-consuming. This has been such a dry summer all across Canada. Take care, Diane. Stay safe.
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Thanks, @jenny_o. It was scary — we spent a tense week with the car half-packed just in case we needed to evacuate. The fire is still burning, but is now considered “under control”. That’s comforting, but it’s still unsettling to know that fire is still close and active. I’m sure you can relate, after dealing with the terrible fire in your neck of the woods. You take care and stay safe, too! 🙂
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September is here. Has your wildfire been tamed, yet? Hope you’re still safe.
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Thanks, GeeGee — we’re still safe and we actually got a bit of rain today. All of the fire that they can reach is extinguished, but the mountain is so steep and inaccessible that they can’t get to it all; so the fire is still considered ‘active but under control’ on the wildfire map. I’ll be glad when our autumn rains start and the fire is off the map entirely!
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OMG….love the way your brain works….cracked me up!! You not only write great books…your humor takes all of it to a new level!! And on a serious note…hope all is well with the wild fires! Coming from Southern California I only get it too well!! Now living up in the Seattle area, we had a day last week with smokey skies. I know this is a week later, but again…hope all is well!!
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Thanks, Kirt! So far, so good — the fire is now classified as ‘being held’, and the predicted winds today don’t seem to affecting that area (so far). Here’s hoping we dodged that bullet.
And I’m glad you got some laughs! If you’re smiling, then my work here is done… until my next post. 😉
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That’s so awesome!!! I’m glad someone else’s brain is on overdrive! My co-workers and I have been on massive sophmoric-warped-innuendo speak for weeks!!!! Nothing less is expected from my team (said with a grin) .. Be safe & best hopes up there with those fires…
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Thank you! After a week of out-of-control wildfire, the fire service finally listed the fire as ‘being held’ last night. But today we have strong winds in the forecast (in our direction, of course) so we’re hoping they can continue to hold the fire. Fingers crossed!
And hooray for you and your co-workers — nothing makes the workday more fun than sophomoric innuendo. Have a few extra snickers for me!
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Hope the fire gives it up but chances for rain don’t look all that good. Thought my days of praying for rain were over when I left the farm but it seems to be the human condition no matter who or where we are.
Stress works on folks in hard ways- during the droughts in the 80’s my friend Little Al (not to be confused with BIG AL from Ukraine) would throw beer bottles at the moon after too many hot and dry days.
Probably as effective as most attempts at weather control.
Hang in there as we sit for your next blog to bring chuckle o our life.
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Thanks, Blair! We’re hanging in there. Much to our shock, we actually had half an inch of rain yesterday. The fire is still considered out of control because it’s in extremely steep and inaccessible terrain, but fortunately it hasn’t expanded in the direction of our place. They’ve got a lot of crews on it now, so we’re hoping for the best.
I laughed at the idea of throwing beer bottles at the moon — sounds like a solid plan. Even if the moon doesn’t help you out with the weather, at least you get to drink the beer. 😉
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I am so glad to read that other people’s brains are weird (and sometimes obsessional) places.
On the firefront? Shudder.
I well remember spending a LOT of time watching the flames on the nearby hills and hoping that the wind didn’t blow them any closer. And the incredible colours of the sky, and the thickness of the air.
I am hoping you get rain and don’t need to evacuate. Hoping it fervently.
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Thank you so much. We’re hoping that, too. But if we have to, at least we’ve had a bit of time to prepare, and we have a place to stay. Hoping for the best; prepared for the worst. 🙂
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Yikes about the wildfires. It’s another crazy summer “up north!” I hope you stay safe. And as far as dirty mind tricks, I guess they come in threes as well. Thanks for the giggles!
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I’m glad you got some giggles! And thank you for the good wishes — we’ll take them. 🙂
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I know you have your bags pack with your most irreplaceable items, but I pray you do not have to evacuate. Loved the giggles and kind of needed them. Thank you!
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I’m glad you got some giggles, and I hope whatever’s spurring your need for extra giggles will soon be happily resolved. 🙂
Thanks for your good wishes. Right now we’re in that uncomfortable phase of waiting — hoping for good news, but ready to clear out if we have to. Fingers crossed that we don’t!
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Oh! Stay safe!
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Thank you — we’re trying! 🙂
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Many years ago I was in St. John’s, Nfld for work and got to visit Signal Hill from which we could see a few ice bergs. Unfortunately there were none quite as interestingly shaped as the dickie-berg. I had read that article when it came out and had a good chuckle.
I hope the wildfire near you is soon under control. Where I live in southern Ontario we generally do not have the same wild fire risk, however we are definitely dealing with smoke coming from wildfires in Quebec and near Ottawa. Keep safe.
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Thank you. We’re keeping our fingers crossed, but the weather is dry and hot and the fire just keeps getting bigger. Hoping for the best…
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I didn’t realize you were so close to the fires. I have friends in Victoria and family in Vancouver so have been keeping an eye out for info about the fires. Glad to hear that even though you are close, you are safe. Take care
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Thanks, Louisa. So far we’re safe, and hoping it stays that way. We’re ready to move fast if we have to, though.
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I hope that fire gets under control. I get random words in my brain. Not to long ago the phrase, “Brain and brain! What is brain?!?” popped in and wouldn’t leave. I couldn’t figure it out.
Turns out it’s a quote from Star Trek’s original series call, “Spock’s Brain.”
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Ha! A fellow Trekkie! I don’t remember that quote, though — I guess in my case the ‘What is brain?’ is appropriate. 😉
I’m hoping hard that they’ll make some progress on the fire, too. It’s been getting steadily larger over the past couple of days, and we’re making our evacuation plans just in case.
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