We live almost an hour away from the nearest city, so when we can’t find what we need in the local small-town stores, we order from Amazon. Their delivery service is usually fast, cheap, and trouble-free.
Until last week.
I was expecting a package containing a watch band, a walking foot for my sewing machine (Andrew, I’m blaming that purchase on you), and a pair of bypass pruners. The package was scheduled to be delivered on Friday, and it arrived right on time.
But when I opened it… no pruners. No watch band or sewing gadgets. Nope; instead I’d gotten a 4-pack of men’s underwear. Black.
My brain short-circuited. I double-checked the address label. Picked up the undie-pack and turned it over a couple of times; because maybe if I looked at it from a different angle, it might turn into the things I’d actually ordered. (It didn’t.)
Then I thought, “Could this be a gag gift from a fan?”
It’s not as far-fetched as you might think. I love hearing from my readers, and every now and then I get a letter containing a tongue-in-cheek reference to John Kane’s famously well-packed black underwear. (Hmm, given the subject matter, maybe ‘tongue-in-cheek’ isn’t the most appropriate expression here.) Anyhow, the point is that occasionally I discuss men’s underwear with random strangers; which theoretically could lead to *ahem* unusual gifts.
But I checked the order status, and it showed that the delivery was indeed ‘my’ parcel.
So I called ’Zon and they quickly resolved the issue, with a few giggles on both sides. My original items were re-shipped, and the agent assured me that I didn’t have to return the underwear.
You might be thinking, “Score for Hubby: Four free pairs of undies!” But no; the undie size (you know I wanted to say ‘package size’) is XS: Extra-small. Hubby is not.
So I guess I’ll donate the ’Zonderwear to the local homeless shelter. I can see it now: A middle-aged woman sidles in and hands over a single pack of extra-small men’s underwear. Sounds like the start of a joke… or a novel. Hmmm, there’s a thought…
Any surprises in your world this week?
Book 18 update: I’m on Chapter 3, and Aydan has just had some comfortable assumptions shattered.
And… the series book trailer is finished, woohoo! See below:
Author Diane Henders 
Love the trailer, Diane!
I remember once my Mum ordered some drain covers, and received instead two Christmas table covers. In June. Although, it must be said, an easy mistake to make. Similarly, yet totally different, but in the same ball park of getting something totally wrong, I reported a problem with my toilet (it wouldn’t flush) but advised it was fine as I could use a bucket. The silence on the other end of the phone line told me they’d misinterpreted what I was saying, and I quickly had to add ‘for flushing’ to clarify what the bucket was being used for. 🪣 🤣
Your men’s undies delivery is quite comical, though! 😁
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“But it’s fine; I can use a bucket” — hahaha!!! I’m still giggling, imagining that moment of horrified silence on the line. Thanks, Tom! 🙂
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😊
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It didn’t take me long to burst out laughing….you do have a way with words!! Awesome trailer…..well done!
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Thanks, Kirt! I’m glad you got some belly laughs! 🙂
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Glad you got the order straightened out. You’ll have to mail it anonymously to some unsuspecting soul.
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Hahaha! You have a truly twisted mind — love it! 🙂
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I was giggling at your turning over the Zon-derwear to see if a different angle might discover pruners, or a watch band. Loved the trailer. Cool way to introduce a novel!
Dave
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Thanks, Dave! Yeah, I caught myself doing that ‘turning it over’ thing and did some giggling, too. What did I think was going to happen?!? 🙂
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Trailer is very cool!
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Thanks! 🙂
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OH WOW! Cool trailer! I’ll bet that was fun to make.
I had an icky Amazon mishap this week. I can’t take pill form vitamins, something about binders and blah blah who knows, so I found a powdered one at a local store. I liked it but it only has a 21 days supply and it’s expensive so I looked on Amazon and they had a 60 day supply so I ordered it. Nice clean brand new box showed up on my porch and inside was a clearly used, mostly empty jar of the item I ordered. The missing product wasn’t in the box so it hadn’t just broken it’s seal and leaked. There was no seal. I almost threw up. Can’t buy it again even from the local store. Guess if I’ve lived this long without taking vitamins I’m probably not going to keel over from the lack of them in the few months it’s going to take me to repress my gag reflex while shopping for them again. **shuddering at the thought** I did get my money back, so there’s that …positive ending?
Still so grossed out over it. Aren’t you glad I shared? 🥴Sorry.
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EEEWWWWW!!! That’s just revolting! I’ve never been able to bring myself to order edible products from Amazon, for exactly that reason: I just don’t know where they’ve been and/or who’s really shipping them. Sometimes they come through Amazon; other times not; and Amazon doesn’t seem to care about the quality. They’re great about issuing refunds, but… I repeat, eeewww! That is truly gross.
The trailer was fun(ish), but a LOT of work. I wrote, directed, acted, (mostly) filmed, wrote the soundtrack, and produced the whole thing; and I had to learn new software to do it. Ultimately fun (if you like brain-pain), but… whew!
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Ok that was definitely a lot of work. But fun for us to see!! Lol. And you did the music too?!? My brother is a composer and so I’m use to him just throwing music out there like oxygen but I know for most everyone else that’s not a simple thing. Very nice.
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Thanks! I wish I could just throw out music like that — what a talent! This was a really simple score, basically just a rhythm track that I did in BandLab (another piece of software I had to learn) and then added sound effects. Someday (maybe when I have more time, ha!) I’d love to spend more time with BandLab, writing ‘real’ music!
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Every time I get down for the rest of the week, I will think about Kane’s well-filled black undies, not size XS.
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Hahaha!! Excellent. My work here is done. 😉
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Hm. I haven’t fired up the sewing machine in a couple of years now. Gotta get on that. Thanks for the reminder.
No real surprises here. That’s the official version. 😁😁
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Ah, a cover-up. The plot thickens. 😉
My sewing has been ‘necessities only’ for the past few years: Making T-shirts that are actually long enough to wear without exposing my belly button, mending, etc. Andrew’s quilting projects are getting me excited about taking on a new recreational project, though! But I won’t start with a quilt — I have a wing chair that needs to be reupholstered first. Maybe next winter…
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I read Zon-derwear in Dutch at first. “Zonder” means “without”. So, my mind went to “without underwear” of course… The story could have been worse. 🙂
My biggest surprise this week? Wacking an unexpected pedestrian – who stood way too close to the road – against the head with our side view mirror… Ooops. It beat everything else we encountered on the Colombian roads, but not by much.
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Oh, yikes! Your pedestrian incident must have be scary for all concerned. I hope the pedestrian wasn’t badly injured. (I guess it’s a good thing the roads keep you driving slowly there.)
I laughed and laughed at “Zonder”=”without”! That would have made for a much funnier (or maybe much more embarrassing) story! 🙂
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Yes, the pedestrian was okay. He touched his head and then laughed. 🙂 And, yes, we were driving extremely slowly in a traffic jam. I’m glad you learned a Dutch word today.
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Here in the ‘wilds’ of Australia Amazon’s delivery charges are horrendous. I was once quoted nearly $100 to deliver a single CD. And I don’t order enough from them to go to Amazon Prime. I am glad that you finally got a win though – and that the homeless shelter did too. Win/win/win (and the third win is for your double delivery).
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I’m amazed that Amazon has maintained their cheap/free delivery here for so long. I don’t have Prime, either; so I usually wait until I need several things and then gang the order so I exceed the $35 minimum for free delivery. I won’t be surprised if their non-Prime free delivery goes the way of the dodo bird soon, but it’s been nice while it lasted.
And hooray for win/win/win! A triple win is always worth celebrating. 🙂
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I’ll accept the walking foot blame.
A few weeks ago I ordered a jacket from Amazon. Somehow the order got lost in a snow storm and after a few days waiting I got an email saying basically, “We lost it, press here for a refund.” Did I mention snow? It was cold and I really wanted a new jacket, but most local stores didn’t have my size so I ordered on-line. Well, when the package didn’t show up, my wife decided to try one more time to find one for me locally and she did. It was exactly what I wanted and was on sale so win-win.
The next day what showed up on my doorstep? Yup, the missing jacket from Amazon. When I called, they basically said, “What jacket? It’s lost and we gave you a refund, you couldn’t have received one from us.”
So now I have two jackets.
and I have two sewing machines and two walking feet. 😉
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Ha! You’re set for life! (Or at least the next several years.) I’ve had a few experiences like that with Amazon, too — it’s basically not worth their money to accept returns. And hey, if you got a free jacket, it’s all good!
I’m looking forward to trying my new walking foot. If it ever gets here. The re-order still hasn’t arrived, so… hmmm. Maybe I’ll end up with a free walking foot, too. 🙂
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Oooh…a trailer! 👍👍
I’ve received no Amazon weirdness in a while. One of the last ones was a mis-delivered package…and I furthermore mis-delivered it to a neighbor who had the same first name but come to find out, it was a package for the next street over, the house sharing the same numeric address as ours. A few years ago, in fact, both of our houses had mis-delivered packages, to the point where we exchanged phone numbers.
I had the opportunity to try one of the Amazon Lockers while staying in Santa Fe, hence also discovering the Whole Foods supermarket. I’ve had payment information for one of my cards (which I use only for online purchases) stored in their system. But trying to ship to the condo resulted in their checkout asking me for all of the card info to “verify” myself. And that card stays safely at home. At no time did the Amazon Locker come up as a shipping destination. For what it’s worth, I think I either clicked away from checkout, or maybe even saved the cart contents for later. But when I went back to it a few moments later to run through checkout another time, it finally let me choose a nearby Amazon Locker, and took my stored payment without issue. Go figure Amazon’s security! 🤷♂️
(I did have a card with me, but use that primarily for travel since I earn points for the Wyndham hotel/resort chain…the points having paid six nights for the condo we were staying in.)
The man-panties sound like a good item to use as a gag gift. Know anyone unsuspecting you could send them to? 😁 Just don’t send them here. The last time those would have fit me was when my age was in the single digits!
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“Man-panties”! Bahahaha!!! That’s exactly what they are: Teeny, clingy, silky little… man-panties. Hubby just looked at them and laughed.
Your experience with Amazon Lockers gives me a wry chuckle. Just the other day I got an email from Amazon, excitedly telling me about their new Pickup Depots(!) “Never miss another delivery!” Uh-huh. I see where this is going: They don’t want to deliver to our rural address anymore. I did not click on the ‘Learn More’ button. The more I learn, the less I want to know. 😉
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