I was struck by an epiphany the other day. And yes, it left a nasty mark; thanks for asking. I won’t offer to show you the mark, but the gist of the epiphany was this: If you’re considering a serious relationship with a man, ask to see his tool first.
It’s not about size. It’s what he does with it that counts.
If a man refuses to show you his tool, run away. A man who has no pride in his tool isn’t even worth considering.
If he does show it to you, you can infer a lot by observing the type and condition of his tool. In particular, get him to show you his torque wrench. It tells you everything you need to know about him.
In the first place, owning a torque wrench indicates some automotive know-how and a willingness to get his hands dirty. This is good. Tread cautiously if he doesn’t own a torque wrench at all.
The cleanliness of the tool is important, but don’t generalize this statement to his box-end wrenches or sockets. They’re meant to be ingrained with black grease. In fact, if a guy’s box-end is too clean, watch out. You may be dealing with a compulsive neat freak.
The torque wrench, however, is a precision instrument, so it should be relatively well-kept. Is his tool shiny and clean, or caked with nameless grime? If he doesn’t take care of his tool, don’t let him anywhere near you.
The type of torque wrench is also instructive.
- Beam-Type: A beam-type torque wrench is a solid, flexible tool that’s good enough to do most jobs. Its owner is an easy-going guy who isn’t extravagant. He cares enough to do the job right, but he won’t drive you insane over tiny details.
- Click-Type: A man with a click-type torque wrench offers you a rigid, accurate tool that’s a joy to use and handle. He will do the job with enthusiastic precision.
- Electronic: Ah, the electronic torque wrench. Yeah, it’s impressive at first glance, but does he know what to do with it? Some guys can handle these bad boys just fine, but this can also be a sign of anal-retentive pickiness and a tendency to overcompensate.
Brand can be difficult to interpret. If his tool is Snap-On brand, ask some pointed questions to determine whether he is, in fact, a pit rat at the local track and/or a qualified mechanic. If the answer is yes, you can relax. This is a guy with a high-quality tool, and he knows how to use it. This is the way life should be.
But if he’s just a backyard mechanic, a premium brand like Snap-On could go either way. On one hand, he might be a spendthrift who’s hung up on brands and status symbols. On the other hand, he might have lots of money and appreciate the finer things in life. Tough call, but consider this: a guy with a Snap-On tool is pretty much every woman’s dream.
I have both a beam-type and a click-type, and I’m not going to speculate what that says about me. But here’s some free advice for my male readers, too: If you find a woman who owns any kind of torque wrench, it means she knows how to handle tools, and she’ll know how to appreciate a good one when she finds it.
You can thank me later.