TMI, Autocorrect; TMI!

/ Diane Henders

This spring has been a bit… hectic.  I haven’t really had that many things on the go; it’s just that I haven’t had the time / energy / physical ability to do All The Things.  (Which is intensely annoying and stressful to a compulsive DIY-er like me.)  But it is what it is; and I’m trying my best to deal. Mostly I do okay, but…

On one of “those days”, I was running late. So I fired up a text to friends who were expecting me around 1:15:  “I’ll be there by 1:30 – I’m running a bit late.”

(Yes, I realize that texting complete sentences with correct spelling and punctuation makes me a Ridiculously Uptight Old Person.  So be it.)

Anyhow, I have a deep mistrust of technology and a near-pathological hatred of typos; so I re-read the message as my finger approached the Send button. And there it was:  “I’ll be there around 1:30 – I’m rubbing a boy.”

TMI, autocorrect; TMI! (For the record, “rubbing a boy” is not a phrase I’ve ever intentionally typed on my phone, so it was totally making that shit up.) Needless to say, I corrected the autocorrect before I sent the message. 

In this case, the consequences of sending the unaltered message wouldn’t have amounted to anything worse than lots of laughter and unmerciful ribbing, but it was a good reminder to check before I send.  (Unlike the time I emailed an interior design client reminding them of our upcoming inspection of their pubic areas.  Fortunately they saw the humour of the omitted ‘L’ in ‘public’.)

And in other news… I don’t find much humour in the media these days, but here’s a story from our local newspaper that made me laugh:  https://www.pqbnews.com/news/squawk-of-the-town-euro-seagull-screeching-contest-migrates-to-victoria-7987317.  What could be more fun than watching 60 people dressed as seagulls, squawking madly?

And here’s another joyful thing:  Despite my enforced neglect of the garden for the past couple of years, the miracle of spring blooms still happens!

What’s funny or beautiful in your world today?

Book 18 update: I’m on Chapter 25, and Aydan’s new partner just exhibited five completely different personas in under 90 minutes. That’s doing nothing for Aydan’s trust issues!

52 thoughts on “TMI, Autocorrect; TMI!”

  1. Hi, Diane, after 5 months off, I see you have not been productive in the blogosphere either, but busy doing other things. Your garden looks so wonderful. The only funny thing that happened at our house concerns our beloved GSD Lucky, aka Doofus, also AKA Bud. He likes oatmeal cookies but I guess had too many and is tired of them. I gave him a cookie last night and he took it into the bedroom and gave it to Tanya.

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    • Aw, that’s so cute! (And funny – who knew dogs could get tired of treats?)

      And yes, my blog has been neglected over the summer. I’ve been harbouring great intentions to post, and I even have a post ready to go… but I keep getting sidetracked with outdoor activities that are less painful for my back than sitting or standing at my desk. But now that the fall rains are beginning, I’ll be back to “desk work”. Maybe I’ll even finally post that article I wrote two months ago… 😉

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  2. The human squawking seagulls was such a great way to bring awareness for bird friendly cities. Our wonderul birds need all the help they can get.

    Love the spring blooms in your garden. It is autumn here in Canada. We’ve had a couple of light frosts so the blooms are fading away.

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    • Hi Carl –

      Thanks for dropping by! I actually live in Canada, too (Vancouver Island), and I’m embarrassed to admit that I just haven’t posted anything since May. Even more embarrassing is the fact that I wrote a blog post over a month ago and still haven’t posted it. It’s been that kind of a summer; but I have high hopes that I’ll be more present on my blog in the coming months.

      (And I’m glad you enjoyed the squawkfest – it tickled my funnybone!) 🙂

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      • Hi Diane,

        You are very welcome. My wife’s brother’ (my brother-in-law) lived on Vancouver Island near Victoria for about a decade. It is so beautiful there.

        I used to post a lot more. Now I just do a few longer, more researched articles a year.

        Take care.

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  3. Look at that garden! Maybe I would stop killing plants if I ignored mine too?

    Oh auto correct. I think it laughs to itself hysterically when we send without checking. Haha got another one!

    As to the seagull contest, let’s hope there are no neighbours in ear shot.

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  4. Lovely garden, truly!

    I’m of the opinion that autocorrect is out to get us. Seriously. The things it changes my very specific messages to… Or maybe it’s AI laughing at us. Regardless, good on you for double checking. I usually catch it right after I hit send. Ugh.

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    • LOL! That whole “noticing the typo after hitting ‘Send'” happens so often that I suspect AI sneakily changes the message a fraction of a second after we hit ‘Send’; just before the message irrevocably leaves the phone. And I’m sure you’re right about AI laughing at us – it definitely has a twisted sense of humour!

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  6. Wow those gardens are incredible. Ours look like a crap grass centerpiece with a few surrounding flowers to highlight. Still cant get tulips to grow???

    The first thing I do upon getting a new phone is turn autocorrupt off. However that didnt stop me one day from typing a message similar to yours.

    It was to a male friend and a comment pertaining to little boys. I assure you it was kosher, and I thought quite funny to the topic at hand.

    So I hit the send button, and nothing happened? I figured the email went bad so I copied the text and started anew. SEND…Nothing. It wasnt until the 5th failure that it dawned on me that there was an other suggestiveness to what I had wrote (and you know I would never do that!). So I breathed a sigh of relief that technology had actually saved my butt.

    And I imagine your email may not have gone either. So nice of someone to think of the deranged minds of some and build in a safety net.

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    • LOL! Yep, I want to be the person whose job it is to think up all the weird, twisted, obscene, perverted, and downright deranged possibilities, and then enter them in an “oops” list to save us from sending embarrassing messages. I’m not quite sure how I’d describe that job on my resume, though. 😉

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  7. Absolutely gorgeous…..I wish we could grow a lovely garden in Greece but it starts to get too hot by April and many things get fried by June. But we did find a lovely Iris which bloomed early this spring, a spot of colour in the sleeping garden. Our garden is mainly vegetables and lots of pole beans but asters seem to grow well in the heat.

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    • I didn’t realize the heat started so early there – that must make for a LONG hot summer! (I hope you have air conditioning.)

      You’re right that the rhodos probably wouldn’t like it there, but at least the asters are dependable. And I bet you can grow lemons! If we ever get a little greenhouse, I’d like to try growing a lemon tree. Maybe someday… 🙂

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  8. Love your garden pics and your post!! Your post brought a smile to my face and then laughing out loud with I read what your computer typed (always blame it on the computer), but actually the automatic spell check and anticipating what you are writing has had a few on me that I almost didn’t catch!! My best to you!!

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  9. your perennial garden still looks great! That’s the bonus of having a perennial garden, they generally thrive without much care…Mostly…😀

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    • Yes, thank goodness! Even when they’re completely overrun with weeds, they still look okay from a distance. And I can still salvage the garden at that (possibly mythical) later time when I can pull weeds again! 😉

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      • ”good from far but far from good” Mine are gtg an overhaul in a couple weeks. The last few years of neglect have taken a toll those so I’m getting a renew. Less weeds more mulch. Will send pics once it’s done…😀

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        • That will be great – you must be looking forward to it! There’s nothing worse for a gardener than having to sit there and watch the weeds grow without being able to do anything about it.

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  11. Oh, how I hate autocorrect. Most of the time. But the worst is when I write a message in Dutch on an English keyboard… Every words gets thrown into the text “corrected” and anglicized, making the entire message unreadable.

    Nothing funny going on here as the sleepless nights pile up due to the loud Argentinian traffic and people all night long, while we have to stay near cities.

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    • Good grief, I can’t even imagine the gibberish that would ensue when trying to type a message in another language – autocorrect can’t even manage English most of the time!

      And I can imagine how exhausting and stressful it must be for you to be constantly surrounded by noise and movement day and night. Including the stress of waking each time there’s a loud sound next to your camper and wondering whether you’re about to be attacked (again). Not my kind of lifestyle at all! I hope you find some solitude and tranquility again soon.

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  13. Loving your garden.

    Mine has been seriously neglected and I am just getting back into it. Hampered by medical appointments. And debility.

    The news? Shudder. The only genre I consistently avoid in my reading is horror.

    I hope your new physio works magic and that your pain management clinic is better than mine was. I attended one some years back. The prerequisite to attend was chronic pain lasting over 6 months. At the end of the first day they presented us with this statement as a break though. CHRONIC PAIN AFFECTS EVERY ASPECT OF YOUR LIFE.

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    • *gasp* What a revelation! I bet you’re glad you went to that pain clinic – with insights like that, it must have changed your life. (Not.)

      The one I attended was better than that, although some of their messages about the psychological component of pain veered perilously close to “It’s your fault you’re having so much pain”. Overall it was good, though, with lots of different sessions available including chair yoga and other gentle body movement exercises.

      I hope you’re able to get outside for more “gardening therapy” soon!

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  14. Hi Diane,

    So nice to see a post from you! Your garden looks GORGEOUS! Your Rhododendrons look fabulous and are really growing well there, by the looks of it. We got a kick out of your TMI auto-correct stories…sure makes you wonder where it gets its information eh 🙂!

    We both read between the lines that you might have been unwell lately and we hope that things are looking up by now. Has your back been giving you grief again? Sure hope you guys are both staying as healthy as possible out there in God’s Country. Hard to believe that it has been well over a year since we visited you, and saw that beautiful garden in person.

    All’s well here, although obviously our tulips are just getting underway, so we’re way behind you. You lived here….you know what spring is like! Anyway, the sun is shining brightly and that’s what is important. We did manage to get the front grass cut yesterday (the back didn’t need it yet). That being said, we did get our exercise as we also did the neighbours’ lawns on both sides of us because both are ailing and either are in hospital, or just got out. The people on our street are definitely aging (not us though 🙂).

    Anyway, hope you are both okay.
    Take care,
    Sandy & Rick

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    • Hi Sandy & Rick! It’s so nice to hear from you! We’re doing okay here – no new ailments other than the continuing saga of my cranky back. I got a referral to the Pain Clinic and have been seeing a new physio for the past few months and getting promising results, so I have high hopes that my strength, mobility, and stamina will continue to improve. (Fingers crossed!)

      This aging stuff is for the birds! Good thing you’re not doing it – I can’t say I recommend it. 😉

      And boy, do I remember spring in Calgary. The May long weekend is coming up, so you must be due for another snowstorm. Back in the days when we used to camp (in a tent), it was almost guaranteed to snow on the May long weekend. But we camped anyway, wrapped in blankets and shivering in front of the campfire. Some people are slow learners…

      Take care, and stay well! 🙂

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  16. I probably have the only 20-something kid who texts me in complete sentences. 😁 My biggest problem with spelling right now is that my brain seems to misfire and I’ll type out what I’m hearing in my head, not the correct word or spelling. Five years ago, that wasn’t the case. (In fact, in the paragraph below, I was typing out the word “pardon” while thinking of “garden,” and it came out “parden.” Ouch.)

    We’ve not had much to report from the Mitten State. The weather is still completely erratic–cold gloomy days in the 40s, followed by a few in the 60s and 70s, then back to cold and wet. It’s uncertain enough that I haven’t planned out my container gardening yet, but usually by Mother’s Day we’re pretty much safe from frost. I’m going the less expensive route this year, though–aside from three New Guinea impatiens for the front of the house (which is on the north side, so it’s shady for most of the day), which I plant myself in hanging baskets, all the rest will be (pardon the pun) garden-variety bedding plants in containers, as I’ve done in the past with a lot of success.

    The vegetable garden is long gone, as this property has too many issues. My last attempt resulted in a complete mildew infestation by the end of June, even on the pepper plants. And growing my prized tomatoes in pots only resulted in attracting the local rats who would gouge them on the vine just when they started to turn color.

    Travel this year (and last) has been on the back burner for a number of reasons. And I’m getting stir crazy! (I was already crazy–that’s a given!)

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    • Crazy people are always the most interesting! 😉

      I’ve been having brain farts with spelling and word switches as well. I keep telling myself it’s due to the drugs the Pain Clinic suggested for me, but I’m pretty sure I’m only fooling myself. I’m not taking anything heavy-duty, so the root problem likely exists between my ears.

      We usually have to wait until at least the 3rd week in May to avoid frost, and we’ve had it as late as the end of May. Our tender plants don’t go out the door until then. I love impatiens – those hanging baskets will be gorgeous at your place, I’m sure! I can’t grow anything outdoors in a pot. I forget to water it for just… one… day… and it’s all over. If it’s not in the ground at our place, it doesn’t survive.

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      • I’ve been there! I would forget to water the containers, and I’ve stressed more than my share of plants. Several years ago I started using an irrigation system for the pots, on a timer, so I no longer forget about watering. If you look up digcorp dot com, that’s the system I use. It’s not a professional-grade system but works well enough for my purposes. In the hottest months I can zap the pots in the front and back yards for two minutes each, two times a day, and everything stays nicely watered. The nozzles are all adjustable so I can keep some of the plants from being waterlogged.

        I was disappointed last year, as I bought a couple bags of “organic” Miracle Gro potting soil from Costco, and my plants did not do well. I’m going back to their standard potting soil this year.

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        • I love the idea of a timer for watering! The only catch is that it requires the water to be “always on” (i.e. pressured up). We water from our pond, and we don’t leave the pump plugged in or pressured up in case we develop a leak in the line. (We have a couple hundred yards of 1″ poly distribution line running to various gardens, so a blowout would draw down our water supply pretty quickly.) I guess we could solve that issue by leaving the pump plugged in and putting it on a timer, too… Hmmm…

          We haven’t had good luck with potting soil of any brand for years. It’s full of sticks and crap, and at best it doesn’t actually kill our plants outright. Very annoying; but we haven’t found any better options.

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  17. Hi Diane, I know you have a life and are living it. however you seems to have really slowed down on your writing. You were writing a book a year, but the last one was in 2022. Are you done with Ayden and having difficulty completing book 18? Your loyal fans are here for you. Just so want another Ayden fix.

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    • Hi Susan! Thank you so much for your loyalty – I really appreciate it! 🙂

      I am having difficulty completing Book 18, but not because there’s any problem with the book. The problem is that I hurt my back in December of 2021, so I can’t work very long at a time anymore. When I was releasing one book per year, I used to work at least 60 hours a week; and now I’m down to less than half that. Because I self-publish and have to run all the business, financial, website, graphic design, and promos as well, I’m simply not finding much time to do the part I truly love: Writing.

      The loss of productivity (and income) is frustrating and anxiety-inducing, but I’m still plugging away as best I can. I’ve been bouncing through the medical system all this time, and I’ve recently switched to a new physiotherapist, so I’m still hoping things will get better – it’s just going to be a looooong haul.

      Thanks for your patience with me!

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      • Thank you for your reply. I am sorry to hear of your health problem. Hoping you feel much better sooner, rather than later. I will be here waiting for the next book, as I am sure all your fans are. Take care.

        Susan

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      • I get occasional spasms in my back, some of them bad enough to take the breath away, but not enough to visit the doctor. Self-medicating with “gummies” takes the knife-edge off of the pain. Can’t say I’m a fan of the other side-effects (slightly nauseous feeling plus yeah, I want to eat everything in the house), but I’ll take that over the pain. Oddly, I go between periods of getting nothing done vs. plowing through a project and/or having my “creative” side kick on. Ibuprofen and other pain relievers don’t touch it, and I don’t want to go down the path of heavy pharmaceuticals for something that happens maybe once every couple of months.

        But it’s not for everyone.

        I hope you can find a path forward from your back issues! It is not a good way to live!

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        • This back issue has definitely put a kink in my lifestyle. Fortunately I rarely get those horrible spasms of back pain, but I could do without the sensation of my lower legs being electrocuted and my toes exploding. I did try some stronger meds for a (very) short time, but it wasn’t an improvement to be so sedated that I couldn’t get anything at all done (and I didn’t care that I was just sitting there like a lump, either).

          I’d be afraid to try gummies or any other form of cannabis – I normally want to eat everything in the house! Amping that up even more seems like a bad idea. 😉

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          • Ouch! It’s a shame something is so messed up in your back that it’s affecting everything below. I hope someone can find a way to resolve it soon! And I agree on those meds–I feel that many of them do more harm than good.

            Those pains aren’t much fun. I had my shoulder fixed back in 2007 (level five separation) and still get a weird, faint, phantom feeling/numbness about halfway down my upper arm. Prior to the operation, I was getting pains elsewhere down my arm–definitely was affecting a bundle of nerves in there somewhere.

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  18. So good to hear from you!  I’m waiting patiently to start rereading the series from the beginning but I miss my pretend friends!  Here is some beauty from my backyard.Take care,MarianneSent from my iPad

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    • Thanks, Marianne! It’s been frustrating to not be able to make my usual writing progress, but I’m still plugging away. I can’t promise Book 18 will be done soon, but it WILL get done. 🙂

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