A Wrinkly Old Bog

Yesterday was Cover Photo Day, woohoo!  It’s exciting to be that much closer to launching Book 15; but on the downside, I had to put on makeup.  Blech.  It was only for a few hours, but it felt like a lot longer.

I’ve always felt a little embarrassed about being on the covers of my own books, but I’m actually pretty happy about it this time around.  With the COVID-19 isolation protocols, I wouldn’t have been able to get the cover done otherwise.  Plus… hell; I might as well admit it:  It feels good because I’m a do-it-yourself freak, a control freak, and several other varieties of freak that are probably better left unmentioned.

But still…

I loathe makeup.  I hate that chalky, sticky, suffocating feeling on my skin.  I hate the greasy flesh-coloured scum it leaves in my sink after I wash it off.  But most of all, I hate the way it falls into my wrinkles and makes my skin look like this:

(No, I’m not going to post a closeup photo of my face. You’re welcome.)

Back in the hazily-remembered days before I had wrinkles, I still didn’t like makeup much; but at least I looked good when I put it on.  These days putting on makeup is like rolling a coat of fresh paint over drywall I should have filled and sanded first:  Every crack and rough spot looks ten times worse.

Plus, my protagonist is aging much more slowly than I am.  If this series keeps going I’ll have to get better at Photoshop.  Much, much better.  As in, “face transplant” better.

Most of the time my wrinkles don’t bother me.  I can’t see my face clearly in the mirror unless I’m wearing reading glasses (which is, frankly, the only humane thing about aging).  More to the point, this is the best I’m going to look for the whole rest of my life.  Might as well relax and enjoy it.

But makeup?  That’s just adding insult to injury.

P.S. Here are a few pretty photos of what’s blooming at our place, to take your mind off wrinkly old bogs (or wrinkly old bags, as the case may be).

Dwarf species tulips and chionodoxa

 

Heather and grape hyacinths and a couple of late snowdrops

Indoors, a baby pineapple on a plant that Hubby started from the top of a store-bought pineapple we ate.

 

Can you spot the little viola that decided to self-seed despite the odds?

 

Here’s a closeup – it’s amazing how these tiny but tough flowers find a way to survive! Kinda puts things in perspective…

 

A flock of daffodils

 

…and we woke up to snow this morning. April Fool’s on us!

 

Book 15 update:  We have a title:  “A Spy For Help”!  The manuscript is out for its final beta and proofreading, and the cover is in progress.  Stay tuned for a blurb and cover reveal in my next post!

37 Comments

Filed under Humour, Life

37 responses to “A Wrinkly Old Bog

  1. Pingback: Garden Goodies | Author Diane Henders

  2. I am so glad I keep forgetting to put my glasses on anytime I’m near a mirror…in my head, my face is still in it’s 40’s…..of course my hair was darker then, so you would think I would notice it’s all white now…but heck, I still have hair!! That’s the way I look at it….always trying to focus on the positive:)

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  3. Fat people don’t have wrinkles. Think it over. Nice bod and wrinkles. Or. . .

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  4. I’m glad you are making such good progress, Diane! In the trend of your previous blog, I first read your blog title as “A Wrinkly Old Blog”! 🙂

    Beautiful photos of the flowers – especially that pineapple plant is amazing – in these dreary days. Good for a smile. And, I’m with you on the make-up. I never wear it. I like everything better “as naturel”. Hmmm, I guess if I ever have a book published myself, make-up will be needed for the cover photo, huh? Hopefully there will be someone around whom I can borrow that from. After COVID-19, of course.

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    • Well, there’s always Photoshop. For me, it’s a toss-up as to whether I’m too lazy to put on makeup and then have to fix my skintone in Photoshop; or whether I’m too lazy to do all the work in Photoshop and then choose to put on makeup. Such is life…

      And hey, “A Wrinkly Old Blog” works, too. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  5. amberraeh

    I am with you on the wrinkles, but I hate losing my once perfect vision. The flower pics are gorgeous. It snowed here again a couple days ago.

    Totally looking forward to this next book!!!

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    • Thanks! I can hardly wait to usher Book 15 out into the world! 🙂

      I miss my “adjustable” vision, too. My distance vision is still fine, but if it’s closer than 6 feet, I need glasses to see clearly. Grrr. And we just had another snow squall a few minutes ago, too; but at least it doesn’t stick around here. Next week they’re promising us temperatures in the teens, so we’re hoping!

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  6. Oh Diane I laughed so hard as I can completely relate. I wear very little makeup and when I can actually see in a mirror that has been well lighted, after the screaming stops, I too feel like some filler and putty should be applied. Oh well we can always dim the lights.

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  7. jenny_o

    Trust a DIY-er to think of comparing makeup to plastering a wall! I have the same feeling with makeup (and fingernail polish) – it feels like my skin and lips (and fingers) can’t breathe, plus the eye irritation. I gave up on it long ago, and never looked back. Don’t dye my hair either, luckily. I can only imagine the mess I’d make if I tried to dye it myself!

    Stay safe, Diane. Your flowers are a welcome sight.

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    • Thanks, @jenny_o! Even though it’s been spitting down snow on us off and on for the past couple of days, at least it’s not accumulating so the flowers are fine. I imagine things are still pretty barren at your end of the country.

      I feel the same way about hair dye — even if I had the time, the money, and the inclination, I’d probably still mess it up. I can build a wall and make it look good, but I’m completely hair-impaired. 😉

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  8. CNor

    I’m with you on a dislike of makeup. Even when I was a teen I did not wear any. When I was in my 30’s I had a female boss who told me that people would take me more seriously if I wore makeup. I remember being astounded by her comment and told her that apparently she did not think very highly of the rest of the staff if she thought they could be influenced by a little makeup. After I left the company I heard she got fired for making a death threat to another employee. Apparently her daily use of high end makeup was not enough sway upper management’s opinion of her and save her job.

    Looking forward to book 15. Stay safe & healthy!

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    • Thank you, and the same to you!

      And OMG, your boss was nuts. I love your comeback, though — well said! You must be good at thinking on your feet.

      Fortunately I’ve never had to work in a place where I was expected to wear makeup. I hated dressing up enough — if I’d had to wear makeup, too, I probably would have snapped and started flinging death threats in all directions. Hmmm, maybe that’s what happened to your boss… 😉

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  9. Judy

    Well it’s time to start the rereads (5th) so I’ll be ready for #15. May skip the first few though and start in the middle.

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    • Wow, that’s so cool that you’re on your fifth time through! Starting in the middle might be a good idea… unless you’re bored and looking for ways to pass the time during COVID-19… 😉

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  10. LOVE your blooms.
    Makeup? Mirrors? Photos of me? are all things I stay well away from. Decades ago I always wore make-up – even to go to the letter box. I had a boyfriend in another state and I would put on makeup and brush my hair before our expected calls. My older, much lazier self laughs. And sneers a little too.
    Good luck with the new release. Needless to say the greedy reader in me is anxious to know more.

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    • Thank you! I’m hoping to have a release date soon.

      And I’m chuckling at your comments about your younger self. There was a time while I was in my teens and early twenties where I always wore perfume and kept my nails long and polished. I never did get seriously into the makeup, though, since my skin was finicky even then.

      I can’t remember exactly when my idea of personal embellishment became “Hey, I brushed my hair today; what do you want?” With any luck I’ll still consider clothes necessary in a few more decades…

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Tom

    I love the fact that you’re the star of your own covers, Diane. If I ever get to publishing my books (thinking positively here!) I can’t see me being on the cover (I’m not too happy that the author’s photo sometimes appears in the blurb or whatever that bit’s called, but that’s another issue)…
    I can still see my face in the mirror, and the clear ‘why do you have to look here’ expression my reflection gives out. I’m sure it grows saggy eye bags on purpose too, just for when I glance over. They can’t be that size in real life.
    Nice photos. And snow? What’s that??? 😉❄⛄

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  12. That’s not snow! Heck, it’s barely dandruff!
    Yeah, I don’t look too close in a mirror anymore. No sense in overdoing the self-criticism as it is, so why add fuel to the fire? Way back in college when I was in the early stages of becoming the refined gentleman you see before you, I asked an attractive woman what part she had in the current theater production as she was wearing lots of colorful makeup. She replied that she wasn’t in the theater program. I mumbled something and quickly walked away. It wasn’t quite as colorful as Mimi Bobeck in The Drew Carey Show, but close. Don’t believe I ever had any conversation with her in the years following that incident.
    Terrific that the book is so close to being done!

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    • Yes, I’m excited about the upcoming book release! I had far too much going on in my life during its writing, so it felt as though it was taking forever.

      About the makeup — oh, oops! Remind me to add that to my list of things never to ask another woman. It’s right up there with, “And when is the baby due?” 😉

      And the snow? Yep, gone already (except on the hilltops where it’s been all winter). We have flurries in our forecast for the next few days, but they shouldn’t (read “BETTER NOT”) amount to anything.

      Liked by 1 person

  13. 😂🤣😂
    You are truly amazing, Diane! You should offer online classes:How to age gracefully!
    You have a very different curriculum already prepared…
    Thanks for the giggle 🙏, we all need that!

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  14. I’m with you – I hate wearing makeup too. Does that stuff ever come off?

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    • LOL! Not that I can see. The only potential advantage I’ve been able to identify is that all the face-scrubbing with several different cleaning products basically equates to sanding drywall. If I take a layer off, it should be smoother underneath…

      Liked by 1 person

  15. Rudy™

    The only time I take glasses into the bathroom is to take care of trimming those hairs that have no business growing out of my nose or ears. Or the freaky one or two eyebrow hairs that seemingly grow an inch overnight and come out all curly. Otherwise, eww, no, the less I look at myself in the mirror, the better. There’s more grey coming in. My better half suspects that this happened only after we moved in together over a dozen years ago. She may be right! Yet I’m secretly glad it’s not as bad as hers–she’s a ginger, and the natural color has turned mostly white, similar to her mother’s (she isn’t a redhead, but it happens on that side of the family). So part of my lockdown duties is to listen while she rants about not being able to go to the hair salon and get the “skunk line” color-corrected.

    And if there is only one thing that would kill me during this lockdown, it will be the fumes from from all the sanitizers!

    We have no blooms here yet, but the daylilies have poked through the mulch, and the grass (and weeds) has started growing. Hopefully spring weather is on the horizon here. We could use the sunshine and warmer temperatures!

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    • Yes, it’s been a cooler-than-normal spring here, too. The daytime temperatures are above freezing, but it still freezes most nights; and I see there are flurries in our forecast for the next several days. At least they don’t amount to much – this morning’s snowfall has already melted.

      I’m really glad I don’t dye my hair! Before all the white started coming in, I debated whether I’d do anything with it when it did; and now that it’s slowly taking over, I find I don’t really care. I’m pretending that I’m just gradually turning into a platinum blonde. Eat your heart out, Marilyn! (And I don’t have to worry about the “skunk line”.) 😉

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  16. I’d offer the suggestion of doing a variety of covers for future books, but that might require dressing up and doing makeup in a few different ways but what would I know. I’m just trying to help.

    I’m cleaning house and sorting out the house while I’m in a forced lock down, as I am a diabetic I’m going to be like this for at least 12 weeks.

    Elbow bumps to all xx

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