Getting Down And Dirty

Psst!  Lean closer so I can share the latest sordid news from my personal life…

*glances around and lowers voice to a whisper*

Yesterday I had a sweaty four-hour session with five guys, and I’m so sore I can barely walk.  I guess I should just be grateful that the sixth guy with the really big tool didn’t participate much.

The whole experience wasn’t as much fun as the salacious stories say it should be; but maybe I was doing it wrong.

Here’s the photographic evidence:

That’s a 33′ x 83′ pond, about 80,000 Imperial gallons.

Yep, we finally got our pond done! The rubber liner weighs 1300 pounds, so Hubby and I planned the project very carefully.  Then we hired four guys from the local labour pool, and had an excavator operator (the guy with the BIG tool) standing by to place the rocks.

The excavator operator had dug the pond last week, and when I mentioned I’d hired guys from the labour pool to help install the liner, he raised an eyebrow. “Guys who can’t get a steady job in this economy? You’ll end up working harder than they do.”

But he didn’t realize that I have a secret weapon: I’m female, I’m strong, and I work really hard.  There aren’t too many young guys who’ll let a 55-year-old woman show them up.

(Have I mentioned lately that I love young guys?  My strategy doesn’t work nearly so well with older guys — sometimes they just shrug and say, “Nah, knock yourself out.  I’ve got nothing to prove.”)

Anyway, we got a great bunch of labourers — hard workers and nice guys.  We spent four solid hours raking, rolling, and wrestling (yes, I’m still talking about landscaping) to get the liner into place.

Even though Hubby and I had planned everything down to the last detail, we didn’t actually expect it to work the way we’d planned.  But it did — hooray!  Today we’re creaking and groaning a bit, but we’re triumphant.

And I gained a juicy story, so it’s all good. After all, how many middle-aged women can say they’ve gotten down and dirty with five guys at the same time? (And don’t forget the sixth guy with his really big tool.)  😉

Anything juicy happening in your world this week?

32 Comments

Filed under Humour, Life

32 responses to “Getting Down And Dirty

  1. I love your humor….I mean love it….I started laughing out loud with the big tool (so something I would say)….my wife comes into the room asking what is cracking me up…..I of course read what was cracking me up….she started laughing and said….that is so you with that type of innuendo…..my girls would just shake their head…and we are off to a happy week!! Thanks!

    On a serious note….I have taken on some serious projects around the house over the years, but nothing like this…I applaud the two of you!! It will look awesome when it’s completed!

    Like

    • Thanks, Kirt! It’s been raining, so the pond is filling up nicely now. It’ll be a while before we get it looking really good, though — there’s a lot of landscaping to be done. I can hardly wait to get the water lilies planted!

      And I’m glad you got a belly laugh — that makes my day! 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  2. SNORT!!!! I did something similar when we first got married in the eighties…Born and bred city girl marries crop and livestock farmer…On the place we lived on, we had pigs and cattle. My outside job included helping with the hogs. Lee’s uncle was his partner and he was a bit physically challenged but not as much as he let on. I’m out there working my ass off and all of a sudden,Uncle is starting to make more of an effort and moving faster than usual. He didn’t want to be shown up by the CITY GIRL!!!! 😂 😂😂😂😂

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    • Bahahaha!!! I love it! That’s our superpower: Influencing other people to work harder. I prefer to think of it as “setting a good example” instead of “sneakily manipulating others as part of my diabolical plan” — it just sounds better… 😉

      Like

  3. I love that tactic of showing up the young guys so they will work harder. Brilliant! I have to say that looks more like a swimming pool than a pond but I bet it is going ot be amazing when complete.

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    • Tomorrow is Safety Day! I’ll be building some rope ladders and flotation devices and getting them installed now before the pond fills completely. That liner will be treacherously slippery (especially if it gets a bit of algae growth on it) so we want to make sure that if anybody accidentally falls in, they’ll be able to get out.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Diane, The best selling author of all the Gray stories has nothing on you! And when it’s all over you’ll have something to show for it, and without the pain.

    Like

  5. Michelle

    Unless you count the thunderstorms, nothing “juicy” going on here in my world. I did get down and dirty all by myself today, putting in a planter around my mailbox, then lots and lots of weeding. I think I need to adopt your labour model. It’s brilliant, LOL! Hey boys…..😉
    My hats off to you and the hubs on joining in the fun(fight) with the pond liner. Ugh. That stuff weighs a ton!(almost literally in your case!)!! But what a joy when it’s done. Your very own serenity spot and sanity saver. Will you swim in it? I don’t think I’d be able to resist if I had one that I dug out myself. I wish you joy and peace with it, and enough rain to fill it.

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    • Thank you, Michelle! I can hardly wait to see it all filled up! I’m not sure if there will be any swimming in it, though — the liner is slippery when wet. We might get in, but we might not get out. We’ll put a bunch of safety measures in place (like ropes in the water and flotation devices), but I don’t know if we’ll ever swim in it. Time will tell… when those summer days get hot, it’s going to be pretty tempting!

      Like

  6. Another entertaining story, Diane. The work itself might not have been so entertaining. Well done, though! Now you need a good rainstorm to fill that baby up! And, who knows, maybe this summer you and your five guys can all go for a swim together. 🙂

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  7. Barbara Vernon

    Crazy lady strikes again. Your word’s bring up the best pictures in my goofy head. Love that pond-pool. It will be beautiful when you are done.
    Just finished re-reading 1 thru 14. They only get better with age. Like fine wine or us tough old broads.
    Now the hard part begins. waiting for 15.

    Like

    • It makes my day to hear that the series holds up to re-reading — thanks! I’m hoping to start Book 15 in a couple of weeks — ideas are starting to come together.

      And I’m glad you got a smile from my silliness! 🙂

      Like

  8. jenny_o

    That looks huge to me – and I’ve been reading your replies and thinking how wonderful a spot you have planned. Kudos for your liner installation going smoothly, and yes I did laugh at all your naughty references 😀

    Like

  9. Drae

    Love your tales of wrestling with the young guys,big tools, etc, etc no matter the excuse or reason. Envy is my middle name (after my recent diagnosis of my submandibular gland cancer) (which we thought was “cured) only to have it mastastisize in the form of stage4 bone cancer in my right hip… So enjoy your beautiful garden and pool and know that you have provided me with many hours of thrills and laughter with each edition of aydan, stems, hellhound, and john’s adventures. Have loved each and every one of them.

    ,

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    • Oh, no! I’m so sad and angry for you. Cancer is SUCH a shitty disease — I hate it! I wish I could wave a magic wand and make it better. You’ll be in my heart while I’m in my garden.

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  10. Tom

    It’s that creaking and groaning that always gets me after such a session, Diane. Even before the session nowadays, thinking about it…!

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    • That’s true — sometimes the anticipation of pain is just as bad as the reality. I think that’s why this project seemed like such a big deal to us when we were planning it (and why we were so pleasantly surprised when it actually worked out). 🙂

      Like

  11. rebelflairsnowbird

    What a wonderful thing! I know you’ll spend many happy hours just seeing who avails themselves of your oasis. I wish I could have one.
    Was just thinking about how many times I have moved the rocks in my yard that I’ve been using to make raised beds and walking paths. I judge it to be at least 3 times by now. With more than 20 years on you and creaking for sure, but what a joy to be in the dirt! Veggies and flowers getting started, and I’m hoping for at least as good results as last year.

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    • I’m hoping I’ll still be moving rocks in 20 years (but I’m hoping I won’t have to)! Rock-moving is a lot more enjoyable when you can take it slowly. And hey, maybe you could put in a small ornamental pond. We built a little pond basin (about 2′ diameter) and a small waterfall at our place in Calgary and it was lovely to see and hear the water splashing.

      Hooray for your veggie and flower starts! We’ve got the peppers and tomatoes on the go, and my flower seedlings are just starting to come up. I think I’ll plant radishes and spinach outside today, though – it’s perfect cool weather for them. Mmmmm… 🙂

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  12. Does it rain enough to fill it or are you going to use your well? I have two ponds that were there when I bought the place and I love them! There are frogs and birds and occasional ducks, otters, minks, and beavers(who have to be forcibly removed on occasion) plus deer and whatever else shows up. I have a nice bench to sit and relax while watching the whatever happens or doesn’t happen. Are you going to put in any fish?

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    • We’ve got a big roof area and all the runoff is piped into the pond. We figure one inch of rainfall will yield nearly 4000 gallons, so it will easily fill over next winter. We’re at the tail end of the rainy season now so we’re hoping to get enough water in it to sustain us until next fall.

      And I’m thrilled to finally have a pond (or an almost-pond, anyway)! I already have plans to build a floating island-garden with marginal plants and mosses so the critters can bask in safety, and I’m looking forward to having water lilies to shade the surface to help prevent algae and evaporation. We’ll definitely make sure there are some native sticklebacks in there to eat mosquito larvae, but beyond that we haven’t decided whether to stock it with fish or not. Regardless, a bench sounds like an excellent idea!

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  13. Wow glad it worked out, my mind went to the dirty side but I feel I knew you well enough to know that it wouldn’t be what I was thinking.

    It does sound more like it should be a pool instead if a pond.

    My friend is loving book one.

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  14. Love your sense of humor Diane. Thanks for hanging in there for us old broads.

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  15. Shirley

    OMG the wildlife are going LOVE you!!

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    • Yes, and we’re hoping that doesn’t include the larger wildlife. Hopefully our fence will keep most of them out — that rubber liner wouldn’t hold up well under deer hooves or bear claws. But we’ll create habitats on the bench areas for our aquatic friends, and we’ll have some kind of floating dock system so the birds and smaller critters can get down for a drink when the pond level varies with drought or rain.

      Like

  16. Wow! That’s a lot of work and a really big pound. My bones hurt just thinking about it.

    The only juicy thing in my life was the glass of orange juice I had Monday morning.

    Like

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