Mind: Boggled.

I was going to title this post “Wait, What…?”, but then I realized I’d already written a post with that title four years ago.  It’s tough when you’ve been blogging for so long that you forget what you’ve written.  But these days I forget what I’ve said ten minutes ago, so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.

What’s truly surprising is that four years have elapsed since I last wrote “Wait, What…?” Considering the number of things that boggle my mind on a semi-regular basis, you’d think I’d have tried to use that title a lot more often.

F’rinstance, the other day I flipped over to Google and started typing ‘how can…’  My original research question vanished into a mind-boggle when Google helpfully offered the following suggestions:

Really?!?  “How can she slap” is the most pressing question on people’s minds?  What does that even mean?  Slap what?  Or whom?  Is this some new kinky-sex thing?  (I may need to do more research.)

And who knew that the compulsion to sing was so powerful and widespread that people are Googling for relief?  I would have expected questions like “How can I keep my spouse from singing?”; or, more likely, “How can I keep Diane Henders from singing ever again?”; but you know you’re in trouble when you can’t keep yourself from singing.  (Maybe try multi-part harmony with the other voices in your head?)

Then I ran across a helpful site listing “Top Website Mistakes Authors Make”*.  I was reading along and thinking, “Uh-huh, uh-huh, nope, I’m good…” when I came to an item that said “As soon as visitors arrive on your site they should immediately be offered more help and a ‘Click here, get this’ offer.”

And I went, “Wait, what?  No!  If I land on a site that shoves spam and clickbait in my face, I’m GONE!”  But maybe these days everybody wants and expects to have their email addresses extorted out of them in exchange for a few paltry facts of dubious value; and I’m just a cantankerous old dinosaur.  (Okay; the ‘dinosaur’ part isn’t a ‘maybe’.)

And my final “What?!?” for the week occurred when I checked last week’s ‘Santa or Grinch’ poll results.  Well, dang.  I’d been so certain of my (made-up) statistics!  But I wasn’t even close:

Click on the image to see the full results. (You may have to click again on the full results to get a readable size.)

So I guess I’ll just have to keep making up fiction — facts are too hard to fake.

But here’s a fact:  Ready or not, Christmas is only six days away.  So… Merry Christmas if you celebrate it; and Happy December if you don’t.  (We’re almost past the shortest day, so that’s something to celebrate right there.)

I’m taking a blogging break between Christmas and New Year’s, so my next post will be on January 2, 2019.  Meanwhile, I wish you and yours peace, happiness, health, and prosperity; now and in the New Year!

I did this little watercolour a couple of weeks ago: “Christmas at Grandma & Grandpa’s”

* I was researching websites because I’m going to have to update this site to comply with modern technology.  So don’t be surprised if things start to look a little different around here!

Book 14 update:  I’m starting Chapter 39 — Kane just made a BIG decision, and Aydan is trying not to freak out about it.  So many threads in this book!  The final edit might cut some out, but so far I’m just telling the story as it unfolds…

23 Comments

Filed under Humour, Life

23 responses to “Mind: Boggled.

  1. HAPPY NEW YEAR, everyone! All the very best to all of you!

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  2. I hope you had a good Christmas in spite of the storm. I’m not so keen on immediate pop ups but then I’m a bit old fashioned that way. Wishing you a very Happy New Year and enjoy your break!

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  3. Happy Boxing Day, everyone!!

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  4. Wonderful results from your statistical analysis! You are probably somewhere under the bell curve of “normal”, but not by much. Always good to know where you stand, though. Have a happy whatever and enjoy your time away! By the time you get back it will be a new year and the days will be getting longer. It works kind of like an annual reboot only the memory isn’t totally wiped out.

    Like

    • I like the idea of an annual reboot! That’s going to be my excuse anytime I forget something in the new year: “Oh, gee, sorry. That must have gotten lost in the annual reboot.” It sounds just tech-y enough that people might believe it. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  5. jenny_o

    I’m a little surprised at some of those results, too, especially the making/purchasing of gifts and the party eating . . . Oh well, I’m right there at the trough, I mean table, with you, Diane!

    Your watercolour is lovely — you’re a multi-talented artist! I’m following your comments on your writing with great interest, too. Your process amazes me! Fiction is not in my repertoire at all, so I’m always keen to read how those who do it . . . do it.

    Have a wonderful holiday! And all the best as the world spins over into 2019 🙂

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    • Thank you, jenny_o, and the same to you!

      I have a very weird writing process: a mix of fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants and anal-retentive attention to detail. My brain doesn’t seem to be able to hold all the information needed to write a whole book, so I just get started and see where the story takes me. I always know what the ending is going to be… or think I know… but sometimes it changes by the time I get there!

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  6. I’ll let you in on a secret – I only have four basic blog posts that I’ve been rewriting for seven years. Same is true for comments – I have eight basic comments I leave on others blogs. It makes life easier.

    and the “how can she slap” does deserve a noun after that. I’ll leave you to fill that in.

    and don’t discount the “how can a lipid be distinguished from a sugar” It’s an important medical question, the answer to which will put you off eating sugar forever. Yeah, the slap search would be more fun.

    Andrew

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    • Uh-oh. Now that your secret is out, I’ll always be wondering, “Is that #3? Or #7?” whenever you comment on my blog. 😉

      And I decided I didn’t really want to know about the lipid/sugar question. In my limited understanding, lipids are fats and sugars are sugars, and if you mix them together and bake them you get shortbread. That’s good enough for me.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Donna Wilson

    Wishing you a very Merry Christmas and Happy safe New Year.

    The older I get, the less I think I can be surprised with “human nature”. But guess what — humans are a complete and never ending surprise whether in their thinking (or not thinking) or actions. Think you’ve seen or heard it all? Guess what — turn that corner or change the radio station — and there it is just waiting to catch you again.

    The new book “hints” are making me anxious to read it.

    Like

    • Thanks, Donna! Merry Christmas and happy new year to you, too. You’re sure right about human nature — I really do learn something every day! Sometimes it’s good… sometimes not so much…

      All the story threads are coming together now – the last quarter of the book is always the quickest to write. I’m glad the hints are tantalizing you! 🙂

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  8. Your such a tease with the book updates but I love it.

    Your watercolour is fab, and you claim not to be able to draw.

    I was surprised by the survey results but it’s nice to know that people still send cards in this day and age.

    Merry Christmas and a happy new year to you and yours xx

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    • Thanks, Karen – the same to you! I had fun with the watercolour – it was just a quickie. I’ve done a couple of flower studies that turned out very well, so maybe I’ll post photos of them in the new year.

      I was pleasantly surprised by the number of people who send paper cards, too! And I got the party pig-out stats TOTALLY wrong. Now I’m feeling a bit bummed at my lack of self control… 😉

      Like

      • Blair Backman

        Glad you survived the great power blackout of 2018. Luckily the power never even blinked in our area of Parksville so we decided to tempt the God’s once more and headed to SK for Xmas and New Years, then off for two months in Barbados….if that doesn’t induce a freezer full of rotting meat, I don’t know what one has do?

        Our son decided to leave his cozy abode in North Carolina which explains the mid winter sojourn to SK.

        The weather was far more amenable in NC, even if the politics weren’t, I couldn’t be persuaded to say nice things about Swift Current even when we farmed in the Southwest.

        Hope you got all the Xmas cake you desired this season!

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        • Thanks, Blair! I scored half a fruitcake as a Christmas gift, so I’m feeling smugly satisfied about the whole situation. 🙂

          I’m glad you made it through the storm without a blip, but you’re right – you’re definitely tempting fate by abandoning your freezers for that long! Fingers crossed that you get away with it.

          And I’m afraid I have to agree with you about Swift Current. The only good thing about it is the easy access to Dairy Queen on the westbound side of the TransCanada, and even those dubious brownie points get negated by the fact that you can’t get to it from the eastbound side. The final straw was the time I got storm-stayed there and the Super 8 soaked me over a hundred bucks for a room when even a nice hotel in Calgary didn’t cost that much. Swift Current is permanently on my “only stop long enough to get gas” list.

          Enjoy your tropical vacation!

          Like

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