This past weekend was the CFL Grey Cup, which is a tradition at our house (if by ‘tradition’ you mean ‘excuse to invite the gang over and consume far too much junk food and beer’).
We’re a mixed bag of sports fans, from serious to superficial. Our living room is small, so we seat the Fanatics up front to give them an unobstructed view while the Funlovers sit behind to heckle enjoy the game in their own way. Needless to say, the conversations vary quite a bit between the front row and the peanut gallery.
I’m in the midrange of the fandom scale so I get to eavesdrop on both the Fanatics and the Funlovers. It’s almost as entertaining as the game itself.
It starts before our butts even hit the seats: Hubby records the game on his PVR, and we start watching about half an hour later so he can fast-forward through the commercials.
But that means the Fanatics are twitching with the knowledge that the game has already started and they don’t know what’s happening! Meanwhile, the Funlovers are just glad they don’t have to sit through a bunch of commercials.
Here’s how the game usually unfolds:
TV: “…and that’s an offside pass…”
Fanatics: *on the edges of their seats* “What the hell were they thinking?!?”
Funlovers: *glancing up from the chip-and-dip bowl* “Um… off the side of what…?”
TV: “…that play has been challenged and will be reviewed by the Command Centre…”
Fanatics: “It was as plain as day! Are those refs blind?”
Funlovers: *tipping up their beer bottles* “Oooh, the Command Centre. What is this, Star Trek? This must be the fifteenth time they’ve said ‘Command Centre’… hey, that could be a drinking game! Whenever they say ‘Command Centre’, everybody take a drink…”
TV: *zooms in on a 3,000-pound dogpile of struggling manflesh*
Fanatics: *vibrating with tension* “OMG! Did they get it? Did they get it?!?”
Funlovers: “Bahahaha!!! Did you see that guy on the left? He did a complete somersault! Oh, man, more of them are piling on! Wouldn’t it suck to be the bottom guy?”
TV: “…there’s the slotback…”
Funlovers: “Is that like the band ‘Nickelback’?”
Fanatics: “No, a slotback is like the NFL’s tight end position.”
Funlovers: *eyeing the posterior of a player or cheerleader* “We like tight ends…”
Fanatics: “Hey, that was a horse collar!”
TV: “That’ll be a 15-yard penalty…”
Funlovers: “They give penalties just because the caller was hoarse?”
TV: “…and there’s the Cup! Right here, these are your 104th Grey Cup champions!”
Funlovers: “Look at them all kissing the cup! They’re basically swapping spit with the whole team. And think about how many dirty hands have been on that cup before their lips touch it. Blech! Penicillin, anyone?”
Fanatics: *falling back in their seats, limp with happiness or despair depending on the outcome* “Wow, what a game!”
The Gang: “That was fun! Let’s do it again next year!”
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Anybody else watch the Grey Cup this year?