My Life’s A Thriller

The weeks leading up to a new release are always stressful for me – so much to do!  So little time!  And after spending the last five years immersed in writing, I’ve developed a few habits that spill over into my ‘real’ life (such as it is).  For example, the habit of building as much tension as possible into even the smallest events.

Sometimes I get a little too caught up in my work…

caught up in my work

And, in other thrilling news:

First:  Is that a turtle in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?  http://www.ctvnews.ca/canada/ont-man-fined-for-smuggling-nearly-40-live-turtles-in-his-pants-1.2792723

I suspect it wasn’t much of a thrill for the turtles, but, as my blogging buddy Beth Younker points out, if one of them had been a snapping turtle it might have been an exciting time for both smuggler and border guards alike.  Sadly, no snapping turtles were included, but the article does have a rather questionable reference to ‘red-eared sliders’.  Sounds like a euphemism to me…

And this:  http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/toronto/wynne-photo-op-goes-wrong-1.3470752. ‘Cause seriously, how often do you get to see a premier posing with a giant pink phallic object?  I doubt if it did much for her, but the media got a cheap thrill from it… and the rest of us laughed our asses off!

Any thrills in your life this week?

Pre-orders are available for Book 11: The Spies That Bind!  So far Amazon, Smashwords, Barnes & Noble, and Apple are up, but I’m still waiting on Kobo (as usual).  As soon as they’re all available, I’ll send out an email to everyone on the New Book Notification list.  I’ll also send a second email on March 18 when the book is released. 

If you’d like to sign up for new release notifications, just click here.  (If you already signed up for a previous book, you’re still on the list unless you unsubscribed or changed your email address.)

58 Comments

Filed under Cartoons, Humour, Writing

58 responses to “My Life’s A Thriller

  1. moondance4me

    Once again I am having fun with laughs reading the smuggling stories. I was thinking that, in my life, I at least never smuggled anything. Ooops! Yes, yes I did. Way back, of course, when I was young, dumb and dangerous. My best friend, the tall blonde that was blind as a bat without her glasses, but drop dead gorgeous, and I, went to Laguna Beach, CA to watch the sail boat races one weekend. Her mother was good friends with a lady that had a home overlooking the ocean and her living room had a full wall of glass. Totally unobstructed view. Now that woman had a daughter that was the consummate wild child. She said her boyfriend was going to come to the “regatta party” (my, my) but we’d have to pick him up. On the base at Camp Pendleton. The Marine base isn’t far from their home. She had a convertible, blue with white interior, very pretty, but she wanted my friend to drive her car. A beautiful black Chevrolet convertible. It’s California, lots of convertibles especially around the beaches. It seems the girl knew about window stickers, where my friend and I didn’t. My friends car was bought used and it seems the dealer didn’t remove the military stickers from the window. The stickers showed that some kind of military brass had the car before. We head on down to the base, come up to the gate and the guard gives a snappy salute and passes us right on through! Wow, how neat was that! The new kid tells my friend to back into the space in front of the barracks. It will make it easier to load up his swim gear. Seriously. The trunk lid comes open, her boyfriend gets in the back seat of the car, and 3 of his buddies proceed to cram into the trunk! None of them had passes and one of the 3 was supposed to have had some real problems and most likely would never get off the base. LOL, anyway, we wound up “smuggling” them off the base for the “regatta party”. Good times were had by all, the boys bunked on the floor of the living room while we girls had the guest rooms. Believe that and I have some water front property in the Everglades for sale! LOL Well, truthfully, 2 of us girls used the guest room. When I found out about the car sticker and the ramifications of sneaking…er…smuggling, the guys off base I had a real problem going back into Laguna Beach for a while. My best friend actually had to be argued into getting those stickers off her window. She thought it gave us great passes to some really hot guys! LOL Seems I was forever baby sitting!

    Like

    • Wow, your poor guardian angels! Their wings must have been pretty well worn out trying to keep up with you, but what a great story it is after the fact!

      It must have been a pretty good-sized trunk to accommodate three guys. I once had a 6′-6″ guy curled up in the hatchback of my 1976 Pontiac Acadian, but there certainly wasn’t room for anybody else in there. And there was no smuggling involved, just a trip to the bar with four other beefy 6’+ guys crammed into the passenger seats plus me as the driver. That poor little underpowered car barely made it, but at least nobody drove drunk that night! 😉

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      • moondance4me

        She definitely had a roomy trunk and of course then I realized why she took out the spare. These guys had it down to a fine art, obviously well practiced. Good thing we only had a little less than 5 miles to travel. My friend and I both said we’d sit out the return trip. I wasn’t about to try and explain to my father, then a deputy for the Anaheim Sheriff’s dept., why I was being detained on a Marine base!
        I think your car was way more packed than ours was! Sheesh. Good thing you weren’t claustrophobic. Good memories tho’, good smiles too.

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  2. About the story with the turtles, they never say what becomes of the little guys. Do they get “deported”?

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  3. Smuggling can get you in deep trouble without live turtles in your pants. I once carried a movie camera through customs in Beijing for a Chinese acquaintance. Scared to death but no problems. Much easier for me than for him. It wasn’t contraband but it was China. I have other smuggling stories but they are not mine to tell.
    As to turtles, they can do serious damage. My cousin’s wife had two big dinner plate size turtles in a large tank. She put them in the bathtub to clean their tank. Carrying them clutched to her bosom. Not smart. Munch. My wife told her it was time to stop nursing them.
    Waiting for your book.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ow, ow, ow!!! Never trust a turtle! And I wouldn’t have the nerve to smuggle anything – I have such a ridiculously guilty conscience that I can’t even make it through customs without twitching when I’m completely innocent.

      Just uploaded the final version of Book 11 to my publishers today, so now it’s set in stone (more or less). Whew. This calls for some liquid celebration! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • I’ll drink to that! 😉

        Liked by 1 person

      • Tipping one for you as well!
        As to smuggling… A friend and I love powdered sugar donuts. Took em along on a Windjammer sailing trip to the Caribbean, in a tupperware container, thinking nothing of it. Thank god our flight was delayed by 9 hours, and customs in St Maarten just wanted to get us through at 1:30 am, so they didn’t look too closely at luggage. However, the next morning, our friend, the first mate, said “You brought what in tupperware? Donuts with a white, powdery substance on them? HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?”
        Guess I’m lucky to be here and not rotting in some Caribbean prison [grin]. Of course, when it’s 30 degrees below zero, I may rethink that.

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        • Big OOPS! That could have been a little more exciting than you had anticipated! But I dunno about ‘rotting in prison in the Caribbean’ being better than 30 below – I don’t hate the cold that much… 😉

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  4. Big Ugly Man Doll

    You had me at ‘red-eared sliders’! Best of luck and congrats on the release! I *really* need to get back to reading more – someday I shall catch up with you!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Does it LOOK like a turtle in my pants? The best news I’ve heard is that I’d be welcome on Cape Breton if the election goes bad. Good seafood, good music, who could ask for anything more?

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Durr! *smacks forehead) Forgot to mention that I love the cartoon, as usual. They always make me laugh.

    The perfect blend of simplicity and detail, and the subject is always spot-on.

    Well done. Again.

    C’mon, 18th!

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  7. moondance4me

    This certainly started my day with a large charge! LOL Turtles taped to legs and a huge pink “blob” (sure it is). I haven’t laughed this hard, this early in ….well, ever. The blob looks like it’s being held by a fist, which further enhances the laughter. Oh jeez. There’s no way all those people standing there didn’t immediately see that and behind those weird smiles, they had to be cringing!
    My big thrill for a whole week is getting some container growing started. Can’t do the whole in ground garden anymore but there are just some things I really like. Peppers, like Jalapeno, Cayenne, Habanero, and of course the green, red and orange Bell kind. Eggplant, and maybe some others, not sure yet. Our back deck is large so it will do for the container garden and I won’t have o do as much bending etc.
    Looking forward to the new release of #11. I’ve been re-reading the last few books, building up the suspense of the new adventure. 🙂
    Going to start my day now and you have guaranteed a big smile on my face for the entire time.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Bahahaha!! I missed seeing the fist – that makes it even better!

      And your container garden sounds wonderful! I’m itching to start planting things, but it’s still two months too early here. Maybe it’s time to start the tomatoes and peppers indoors, though. We don’t grow bell peppers, but we like the Jalapenos, Serranos and Anaheims. Habaneros are a little too hot for our tastes!

      Liked by 1 person

      • moondance4me

        I might be jumping the gun a bit too but our weather has been so mild that it might work out. I still have to get the containers ready, get the soil mix right before I ever plant. We do like our hot peppers, fer shur good buddy, LOL. I mainly use the Habaneros for my pepper sauces. Our neighbor loves the suckers so, I’ll be giving him a bunch too.

        Liked by 1 person

        • Pepper sauce – YUM! That’s something I’d like to try making!

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          • moondance4me

            Very simple to make. Take a glass bottle, one with a cork preferably, any size you want. Take a lot of peppers, mild to hot (hot for the flavor kick), split them somewhat to expose the inside and stuff them firmly in the bottle till it’s filled. I use different colored ones to make it look pretty too. Pour distilled white vinegar so they are covered. Cork the bottle and set in a window with good light for 2 weeks. As you use the sauce just keep it filled with vinegar, waiting a few days before using again.
            I use it with cooked greens like cabbage, mustard, etc. Good in beans, almost any kind, not the sweet kind like baked of course. 🙂 Comes in handy for a kicked up sauce of any kind. Just use it to taste depending on how much water or milk you have to drink to ease the burn! LOL
            It will last like that or a long, long time. You make it fresh again when you see the original peppers starting to look soft and unappealing. That’s what I go buy, the sauce might still be good, but I figure if it looks yucky, or about to, it has to go.

            Liked by 1 person

            • moondance4me

              “That’s what I go buy,”
              I meant “That’s what I go by…” sheesh. I was thinking ahead and used the word I was thinking instead. My days go like that a lot.

              Liked by 1 person

            • Oh, what a perfect and simple recipe! Thanks, I’m going to give that a try. It’s going into my recipe file as “Moondance’s Sunshine Pepper Sauce”. 🙂

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  8. Hubby said it was a good thing his name wasn’t Long Duc Dong, but this works! Of course, hubby is 52 going on 15….
    Professor so sorry to hear about surgeries, I’ve got my first one coming up probably this year. Maybe we need to schedule for the same time so we can be online therapy buddies.
    Diane, after getting a mention as your blogging buddy, I don’t think my heart can take any bigger thrills than that! ..sniff…surreptitiously wiping a small tear of joy….

    Liked by 3 people

  9. I know the feeling of getting worked up about something only to realize it was fixable. Not my finest moments. 😉

    Congrats on getting the next book ready for pre-order!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Karen

    Shudders at the thought of anything live and small strapped to my legs, and I’m a woman hehe.
    Nothing much thrilling this week, its my interview tomorrow morning, not thrilling but scary. I’m too old for searching for a new job OK I’m not that old and I don’t feel that cold but still I can see a big ’40’ coming up in a couple of years but I still feel like I’m in my 20’s

    Well back to making earring’s 4 more pairs and the stand is full

    Hugs to all

    Liked by 2 people

    • Good luck with your interview – keeping my fingers crossed for you! And you’re still a young chick, trust me. I still feel like I’m in my 20s, too, but only between my ears. Unfortunately, the rest of me doesn’t seem to be keeping up with the program. 😉

      Have fun with your earrings!

      Liked by 1 person

      • I’m still 18 on the inside. Wife claims it’s more like 12. Still don’t see a problem. 😉

        Liked by 1 person

        • LOL! Nope, no problem. Twelve was a good age. 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

        • moondance4me

          There really isn’t a problem with that. I’m waaay old and still think pretty much the same as I did at 18. LOL Thank the heavens I don’t try to dress the same.

          Liked by 1 person

          • It’s probably sad that I still do dress the same as I did at 18 – jeans, sneakers, and T-shirt. Come to think of it, my hair’s pretty much the same, too. The only difference is the wrinkles and creaky joints. 😉

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            • Karen

              Diane you dont look old, OK the photos don’t make you look old as I’ve never seem you in person.

              I don’t think I’ve aged much, and I keep hoping I’ve inherited genes from my mum as she looks in her 40’s rather than pushing 70 OK not quite 70 and she would kill me for that and for saying she will only be 68 this year but she sure as hell doesn’t look it

              Like

              • Thanks, Karen, that’s kind of you to say. And you’re lucky to have such great genes! The camera has been kind to me in the few shots that I’ve shared here, but some of the shots were YIKES!

                It’s okay, though. Any time I start worrying about wrinkles, I cheer myself up with the slightly depressing thought that this is the best I’m going to look for the rest of my life, so I’d better enjoy it. 😉

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  11. I go through your stress processes every time I post, Diane… it’s most odd!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Lemme see here. Thrills in my life this week…

    Okay, got the news about multiple joint surgeries and replacements every year until the end of the universe last week.

    Hm. Coming down with a cold this week.

    Nope, just move along. Nothing to see. No thrills here. 😦

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Forty turtles strapped to a Dong? He must be from Iceland.

    Liked by 1 person

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