I wrote this very late last night and I wasn’t quite sober at the time. Consider yourselves warned…
I’m taking a semi-vacation this week, and I’ve left the writing of this draft to the last possible moment. So since I’ve had one too many glasses of birthday wine tonight I’m going to offer some random fashion-related thoughts.
Yes, I realize that fashion opinions from me are approximately as valuable as makeup tips from Ronald McDonald, but please indulge me for a few minutes ’cause I’m feeling inspired. Or possibly just intoxicated. Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference…
Anyway, here’s the first thing that inspired me: You know how I postulated a couple of years ago that I was probably a sociopath because I refused to give up wearing my waist pouch? Well, the joke’s on the rest of the world. I wasn’t a pathetic refugee from the fashion police; I was a cutting-edge trendsetter. Look at this:
Matthew McConaughey has made it cool to wear fanny packs: http://uproxx.com/filmdrunk/2014/08/matthew-mcconaughey-has-made-it-cool-to-wear-fanny-packs-again/?sc_ref=direct
And Rihanna rocks a fanny pack, too: http://perezhilton.com/cocoperez/2014-03-04-rihanna-chanel-show-fanny-pack-paris-fashion-week#.U_QLgNN0yUk
I realize their waist pouches are an order of magnitude more fashionable than mine, but I prefer not to cloud the issue with facts.
So neener-neener to the fashion police! *proudly hoists up waist pouch and strides off into the sunset*
Also on a fashion-related note: Stop the presses; I wore a skirt to my birthday dinner tonight:
Sadly, my sartorial choice had little to do with a sudden attack of fashion-consciousness and everything to do with the fact that I wanted to wear stretchy clothes so I could make a pig of myself at the fancy restaurant Hubby had chosen. (And I did pig out; with relish. Or to be exact, with saffron cream dressing on my prawn-and-avocado salad and balsamic reduction on my duck breast. No actual relish. That would just be gross.)
But getting back to the point: Me. In a skirt. Shocking, yes?
I don’t want to cause any more trauma to your optic nerves so I’ll leave you with a cartoon. I actually posted it for the first time a while ago, but it suited my theme tonight and I’m still tipsy enough not to be bothered by my lack of originality:
Here’s to being fashionable; or, failing that, being too oblivious to care.
P.S. I just realized this post is positively rife with semi-colons and colons. It’s probably some deep Freudian way to indicate the anatomical area I most resemble when I’ve been drinking…