Bro Bulletin – Questions Of Doom: #4

For the month of Movember, I’ve been supporting my Mo’ Bros by offering a few helpful insights into the female mind.  This is the last of the Movember Questions of Doom series.

* * *

QOD #4:  Do you like this casserole?

Getting this one wrong probably won’t kill you, but there’s still a pretty high potential for long-term misery.  Possible answers:

“Yes” – I hope you really do like it, ‘cause you’re gonna get it every second week from now until doomsday.

“It’s okay, but I wouldn’t want it every year.” – This one never fails to get a laugh at our house, but don’t try it unless you’re really sure about her sense of humour.  (Note: Her sense of humour may vary considerably from day to day.  Better not chance it.)

“No” – You know the drill.  Icy silence and/or tears and/or wild accusations of “You don’t appreciate anything I do”.  And you aren’t going to be getting any for a good long time.  You know I’m not talking about casserole.

Best Answer:  “Wow, this is really different.  Where did you get the recipe?” – Try not to gag while you say this.  Pretend avid interest in the answer and immediately guide the conversation in another direction.  Examples:

If she says it’s her Aunt Mary’s recipe:  “How is Aunt Mary, anyway?”  (Note:  If the answer is “dead”, you’re in deep shit, but at least the casserole conversation is probably over.)

If she says she found it in a cookbook/magazine/online:  Make sure you sound enthusiastic:  “Really.  Wow, you should try some of their other recipes, too.  Hey, did I tell you about…”

Good luck, bro.  You’re gonna need it.

And because this is the last Bro Bulletin in the Movember series, here’s a bonus QOD:

Bonus QOD:  Did you make that doctor’s appointment yet?

Sorry, guys, there’s only one correct answer to this:  “Yes, dear.”

* * *

Movember Moment:  Guys, if you haven’t done it already, go and get your prostate checked.  A few moments of discomfort are well worth the relief of knowing you’re fine; or, worst-case scenario, the sooner they find a problem, the more easily it can be dealt with.

And if you’re feeling despairing or anxious; if you’re self-destructive or you can’t control your temper, please talk to your doctor.

There’s no shame in asking for help.  If you had computer problems, you wouldn’t just put up with it and hope it’d get better, and you wouldn’t feel inadequate if you couldn’t fix it yourself (and you know how badly it can turn out if you try).

Please treat yourself at least as well as you treat your computer.  We Mo’ Sistas want to keep you around, happy and healthy, for a long time.

So go make that appointment.

Please? For me? *bats big brown eyes*

P.S. Thanks to Le Clown for starting Bloggers for Movember. In support of the cause, I’m donating half the November royalties from my paperback and e-book sales from all channels to the Cancer Society. Only two days left – please spread the word!

27 Comments

Filed under Humour, Life

27 responses to “Bro Bulletin – Questions Of Doom: #4

  1. You had me in stitches, thank you. Especially the dead Aunt. Then you want e to get a doctor to shove his hand where the Sun don’t shine. Sobbered me up a bit.
    Ok, I’ll eat my casserole.

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  2. holy freakin crap Diane!! I guess you are a true redhead, based on the color of your stache 🙂 that is just hysterical. Only thing missing are some crumbs, mustard and ketchup sauce.lol.
    Seriously though, I thought you were one of the rocket science PhDs working in my building, minus the stains, hairy legs, & flip-flops.lol.

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  3. Wife cooks it, I eat it. Pretty simple rules. And if the “beans are too salty” well, “that is just the way I like them”. I have even learned to appreciate fish…sort of.

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  4. Smith

    A handy read that will help you tackle innocuous looking but potentially incendiary queries of everyday life..A life changer in more ways than one for sure!

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  5. Um. Has anyone ever mentioned the word, “wax” around you? That mustache is getting a little out of control 😉

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  6. Lesley & Nick

    Luv the ‘stache Diane and thanks for the giggles & guffaws on QOD and for supporting a rather touchy subject (no pun intended). We have been there…prostate cancer runs in my husband’s family. So here is another commercial – a routine check up is a piece of cake compared to going through treatment for three years – cancer free now, hooray!

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    • Cancer is a bastard. Let’s hope a few guys get the message this month so they don’t have to go through what you did. If my wearing a moustache does it, that’s great… though Hubby has expressed some concern about my ‘stache. I don’t think it’s going to end up being a “look” for me in the long run. 🙂

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  7. I’ll eat whatever you put in front of me, as long as you don’t blast me with your six shooter, Yosemite.

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  8. If I had a ‘tache like that, Diane, I would be itching until the end of the world! 😉 And I love casserole, so I wouldn’t complain there!
    By the way… thanks for adding my little badge – I really appreciate it!

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  9. Great Movember wrap-up post. And that is one sweet stache!

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  10. Wow. And I thought I was having a bad hair day… 😉

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  11. Le Clown

    Diane,
    Thank you, for being with us from day one, and to the end. My mustache is so long now, that everything I eat has a taste of hair. Delicious.
    Le Clown

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  12. Love the moustache. And I’d probably love the casserole too. Am pretty easy to please when it comes to food!

    Like

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