Better Left Unanalyzed

I’ve just been reading a fascinating dialogue between Charles Gulotta at Mostly Bright Ideas (Better Left Unsaid, Part 1), and Priya at Partial View (Better Left Unsaid, Part 2).  Go and read both posts, along with all the comments.  It’s well worth it.  I’ll wait.

Now that you’re back, here’s my two cents worth. 

I was intrigued by the fact that both Priya and Charles seem to use the words “attraction” and “appreciation” interchangeably.  I think there’s a fundamental difference between the two.  Appreciation is window-shopping.  It’s harmless, enjoyable, and free.  Attraction is walking into the store to buy.  Attraction can cost you big. 

It doesn’t bother me a bit if my husband appreciates, or is attracted to, another woman, celebrity or otherwise.  My husband and I are both geeks, so our minds work a little differently than the rest of the world. 

Geeks believe that all issues can be resolved using a flowchart.  Look below for my take on the whole “Better Left Unsaid” discussion, if you dare.

WARNING:  Viewer discretion is advised.  This flowchart reveals the horrifying inner workings of the geek mind.  May cause warping, distension, or catastrophic failure of normal brains. 

Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

20 thoughts on “Better Left Unanalyzed

  1. I like the flow chart! I’ll often write scripts, with the various characters each being one part of my mind. Then I try to capture the internal dialogue, whether it’s about lust, decision-making, or whatever. Thanks again.


  2. My mind is too chaotic to follow the flow chart accurately, but I did skim it and got the general gist. I like where you ended up from where you began. I like to be happy and content, so I tend to work backwards from that point. That is, I try to understand what people are thinking and feeling based on what I am thinking and feeling when I exhibit the behavior they do. This helps me to understand what they are going through rather than getting irate or annoyed at their behavior. If this seems to lack sense it is because of the chaos inflicting my mind and preventing me from creating beautiful flow charts. But I sent a memo to Dilbert about it, and he IM’d that he will prepare a presentation for me and present it at the next staff meeting. You have to bring the donuts.

    Disclaimer: This does not work in traffic!


  3. I reach exactly the same conclusion in a tiny amount of time. I would love to think that the same flow chart applies, only faster (a gush chart?), but I think I’m just a little lazy. Still.


    • Right on, Murr. Actually, I did the same thing. I read the posts, and immediately went, “Yeah, no problem.” What took the time was figuring out *why* it was no problem. Hence the flow chart. But I’m a geek. It had to be done. 🙂


  4. What a great flow chart! I love that you took the time to outline your feelings, and potential feelings. Very “geeky” indeed. 🙂 And thankfully, it didn’t cause distention, but thanks for the warning.

    To further comment upon a comment Charles left on his blog, before the link to yours, I think what we feel does change from moment to moment. In fact, I feel differently today than when I first commented on his post.

    And your flow chart seems to allow for many variations of the human condition! Allowing room for whatever you’re feeling at the moment. Nicely done.


    • Thank you! I thought it was only fair to post a warning. Flow charts seem to stimulate the geek brain into happy Pavlovian drooling, but I’m sensitive to the fact that they cause an intense aversive response in others. 🙂


  5. I like the omnipresent Yes and No too, Diane. They bring home the point that there is always another option, another perspective to look at. Thank you.


  6. I admire you, Diane. My mind doesn’t have any rectangles or straight lines. I especially like that you have Yes and No emerging from each box. That reminds me of something essential that I failed to address in the post: I don’t always feel the same way. Something might not bother me today, but could very well annoy the life out of me tomorrow. That’s just another element in the complex world of relationships. But you have it figured out: You always end up at No problem. I think you should create a series of these flow charts and put them into a book.


    • Thanks, Charles! Isn’t it funny how our minds work? I’ve done “mind maps” with creative people, and I’m fascinated to see the complex, organic structures they create. Mine always look like, well, flow charts. Great for organization, not so great for creativity.

      Maybe that’s why I keep piggy-backing on your blog posts – you have such wonderful creative ideas. Thanks for sharing them! Let me know if you get tired of me riding your coat-tails. 🙂


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