Tag Archives: smiling car grille

Riding The Blue Unicorn

For the past few days I’ve been riding the Blue Unicorn.  No, that isn’t a kinky sex act (though it sounds like it should be); nor have I been eating funny mushrooms.  I promise it’s safe to read on!

So… after an incredibly frustrating week of test-driving used cars, I decided on the Ford Escape, a common vehicle with lots of used ones available.  Great.

Or so I thought.

Nope.  There were lots of them available; but they’d all been driven into the ground even though their prices were still sky-high.  By the end of the week I was so sick of the whole used-car fiasco that I gave up and called the dealership to buy a new one.

I told the salesman the bizarre mix of features I wanted, and there was a brief silence on the line.  Then he said, “So basically, you’re looking for a unicorn.”

“Yep.”

“Let me see what I can do.”

Ten minutes later he phones me back in triumph:  “I found your unicorn!”

And sure enough, he had.  Better yet, it was blue!  That delighted me, since I had been cynically certain it would turn out to be white like all my other vehicles.

So I dubbed it The Blue Unicorn, and it’s proudly residing in our driveway.  I haven’t had it long enough to determine its personality yet, but you can usually match a vehicle’s face to its attitude.

Or maybe I’m just foolishly anthropomorphizing.  (Okay, so that’s not a ‘maybe’.)

Still, don’t these car-faces speak to you?

Ford Mustang – “Get outta my way, punk!” (It even looks like it’s clenching a cigar in its teeth!)

Ford Mustang – “Get outta my way, punk!” (It even looks like it’s clenching a cigar in its teeth!)

 

Chevy Spark EV – “Hi, hi, hi! I’m so excited to meet you!”

Chevy Spark EV – “Hi, hi, hi! I’m so excited to meet you!”

 

Chevy Sonic – “Dude! Wanna watch me stuff an entire Big Mac in my mouth?”

Chevy Sonic – “Dude! Wanna watch me stuff an entire Big Mac in my mouth?”

 

Chevy Malibu – “Hey, babe, come back to my place and I’ll show you my etchings.”

Chevy Malibu – “Hey, babe, come back to my place and I’ll show you my etchings.”

 

Mazda 5 GS – “Whee! Happy-happy-happy day!”

Mazda 5 GS – “Whee! Happy-happy-happy day!”

 

Mazda CX9 – “Okay, now you’re beginning to irritate me…”

Mazda CX9 – “Okay, now you’re beginning to irritate me…”

 

Acura NSX – *chuckles evilly*

Acura NSX – *chuckles evilly*

 

Nissan Juke – “Dimples and buck-teeth – I’m Howdy Doody!”

Nissan Juke – “Dimples and buck-teeth – I’m Howdy Doody!”

 

Audi A4 – *groans* “Why is it so bright in here? How much did I drink last night?”

Audi A4 – *groans* “Why is it so bright in here? How much did I drink last night?”

 

Bentley Mulsanne – “Goodness gracious, how inconvenient. I seem to have misplaced my spectacles.”

Bentley Mulsanne – “Goodness gracious, how inconvenient. I seem to have misplaced my spectacles.”

 

Jaguar XF – “You just got on my very… last… nerve…”

Jaguar XF – “You just got on my very… last… nerve…”

 

Jeep Renegade – “Aw, man! That totally sucks.”

Jeep Renegade – “Aw, man! That totally sucks.”

 

Jeep Patriot – “Wh… What do you mean, ‘there is no Santa Claus’?”

Jeep Patriot – “Wh… What do you mean, ‘there is no Santa Claus’?”

 

Toyota Yaris – “Luke… I… am… your… father…”

Toyota Yaris – “Luke… I… am… your… father…”

 

Mitsubishi i-MiEV – “Look, I’m the cutest manga character ever!”

Mitsubishi i-MiEV – “Look, I’m the cutest manga character ever!”

 

The Blue Unicorn’s face – Not sure yet…

The Blue Unicorn’s face – Not sure yet…

I think the Blue Unicorn looks cheerful, but there’s a definite undertone of “Don’t mess with me”.  Or maybe I’m just projecting.

What do these car-faces say to you?

* * *

And speaking of subliminal messages… there’s a new discussion over at the Virtual Backyard Book Club:  Have you found the secret message on the Never Say Spy covers?  Click here to have your say!

49 Comments

Filed under Humour, Life