Remember the old figure of speech, ‘put a bug in your ear’? It means ‘give you a hint’. So, the other day I was out in the garden and a bug flew up my nose. I’m not sure how to interpret that.
What made the whole episode disturbing (other than, hello, a bug up my nose) was the fact that the bug flew directly up my left nostril with all the precision of a shuttlecraft docking in the Starship Enterprise’s shuttle bay. (Well, maybe a shuttlecraft with a slightly inebriated pilot, because I did feel the bug carom off the inside of my nostril as it rocketed up there.)
Even more worrisome was the fact that the bug didn’t come out. No matter how much I sneezed and blew, no reassuring bug-body appeared.
So as far as I know it’s still up there, tunnelling slowly but steadily through my sinuses on its way to my brain, where it will lay a zillion eggs that will hatch into hungry little carnivorous worms. I’d like to say that’s nothing more than a bizarre fantasy on my part; but I’m afraid it might be actually possible after reading about the woman who had a cockroach living in her ear (and there’s a disturbing twist on ‘a bug in your ear’).
The sad fact is that even if my brain had as many wormholes as swiss cheese, it probably wouldn’t noticeably affect my current behaviour. I’ve been deep in writing again this week (six more chapters, woohoo!) which means I’m perfectly capable of:
- Not noticing real-life people and events that are right in front of my nose
- Forgetting that my fictional people and events never actually existed
- Forgetting to eat, sleep, bathe, and keep important appointments
- Muttering incomprehensibly and making weird facial grimaces for no apparent reason
On the upside, it’s possible that my resident brain-worms will have minds of their own, which might lend a certain off-the-wall creativity to my future ideas.
Or who knows? Maybe they’ll just be in single-minded pursuit of their next meal. Food normally occupies a large portion of my waking thoughts, too, so… dang. I guess I’ll never know whether I’m going buggy. But if I start vigorously flapping my arms and searching for dark moist tunnels to inhabit, it’s probably time to call the bug-catchers.
Oh, and maybe give Hollywood a call. It’s been a while since they remade ‘The Fly’.
Anything bugging you this week?
Book 16 update: I’m on Chapter 17, and Blue Eddy’s has been taken over by folks wearing tinfoil hats to protect themselves against space aliens. In Aydan’s world, there’s always something…