For the past few days I’ve been riding the Blue Unicorn. No, that isn’t a kinky sex act (though it sounds like it should be); nor have I been eating funny mushrooms. I promise it’s safe to read on!
So… after an incredibly frustrating week of test-driving used cars, I decided on the Ford Escape, a common vehicle with lots of used ones available. Great.
Or so I thought.
Nope. There were lots of them available; but they’d all been driven into the ground even though their prices were still sky-high. By the end of the week I was so sick of the whole used-car fiasco that I gave up and called the dealership to buy a new one.
I told the salesman the bizarre mix of features I wanted, and there was a brief silence on the line. Then he said, “So basically, you’re looking for a unicorn.”
“Yep.”
“Let me see what I can do.”
Ten minutes later he phones me back in triumph: “I found your unicorn!”
And sure enough, he had. Better yet, it was blue! That delighted me, since I had been cynically certain it would turn out to be white like all my other vehicles.
So I dubbed it The Blue Unicorn, and it’s proudly residing in our driveway. I haven’t had it long enough to determine its personality yet, but you can usually match a vehicle’s face to its attitude.
Or maybe I’m just foolishly anthropomorphizing. (Okay, so that’s not a ‘maybe’.)
Still, don’t these car-faces speak to you?
Ford Mustang – “Get outta my way, punk!” (It even looks like it’s clenching a cigar in its teeth!)
Chevy Spark EV – “Hi, hi, hi! I’m so excited to meet you!”
Chevy Sonic – “Dude! Wanna watch me stuff an entire Big Mac in my mouth?”
Chevy Malibu – “Hey, babe, come back to my place and I’ll show you my etchings.”
Mazda 5 GS – “Whee! Happy-happy-happy day!”
Mazda CX9 – “Okay, now you’re beginning to irritate me…”
Acura NSX – *chuckles evilly*
Nissan Juke – “Dimples and buck-teeth – I’m Howdy Doody!”
Audi A4 – *groans* “Why is it so bright in here? How much did I drink last night?”
Bentley Mulsanne – “Goodness gracious, how inconvenient. I seem to have misplaced my spectacles.”
Jaguar XF – “You just got on my very… last… nerve…”
Jeep Renegade – “Aw, man! That totally sucks.”
Jeep Patriot – “Wh… What do you mean, ‘there is no Santa Claus’?”
Toyota Yaris – “Luke… I… am… your… father…”
Mitsubishi i-MiEV – “Look, I’m the cutest manga character ever!”
The Blue Unicorn’s face – Not sure yet…
I think the Blue Unicorn looks cheerful, but there’s a definite undertone of “Don’t mess with me”. Or maybe I’m just projecting.
What do these car-faces say to you?
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And speaking of subliminal messages… there’s a new discussion over at the Virtual Backyard Book Club: Have you found the secret message on the Never Say Spy covers? Click here to have your say!
Author Diane Henders 