Just A Nutjob

/ Diane Henders

I have to confess:  I’m obsessed with nuts.  All sizes and shapes and colours; from soft to firm to rock-hard, and everything in between.  Such a glorious variety… mmmm!  And there’s nothing like that delicious crunch when I crush them between my teeth.

Guys, stop wincing – it’s nothing personal.

The other day I checked the grocery list and chuckled.  There were only three items on it:  Peanuts, walnuts, and pine nuts.

This was in addition to the dried-fruit-and-peanut mix that’s always in my car in case I need a snack while I’m on the road; the can of salted cashews in the snack drawer; the almonds and almond flour in the baking cupboard; and the big bowl of unshelled nuts that takes up residence on our counter every year as soon as fresh nuts become available.  (And you know I’m secretly snickering at “fresh nuts”.  There’s nothing better than cupping a nice big handful of… okay, I’ll stop now.)

And there’s always at least a gallon of peanut butter in the freezer in addition to the jar that’s currently in use; but I don’t actually include that in my nut count – peanut butter is a staple food that transcends nutdom.  (If only I could say the same about myself.)

If there’s peanut butter, there’s hope.  If there’s no peanut butter… *shudders at the thought*  I’m not even going to go there – it’s too traumatic to consider.  I’m sure most guys would agree that a nutless day is a bad day indeed.

Hubby is bemused by my love affair with peanut butter.  If we eat the same leftovers a few days in a row I get tired of them no matter now delicious they might be.  But peanut butter?  I eat it for breakfast every… single… day.  And I have for decades.  I just tell Hubby he should be glad that when I find something I truly love, my commitment problems magically disappear.  😉

I do realize that peanuts aren’t actually nuts at all – they’re legumes.  But I’m still nuts for them.  I know; sometimes I’m such a goober.

And now I can’t get the song “Goober Peas” out of my head.

Any other nut nuts out there?

Book 14 update:  I made it to the end of Chapter 21, and circled back to tune up some details in earlier chapters.  It’s fun to weave in all the little loose ends!

37 thoughts on “Just A Nutjob”

  1. My lunch treat or whenever is good bread toasted. Then lay on the peanut butter and some good syrup. And of course some really good bacon. Coffee and a lot of it. My husband takes PB and J for lunch every day. has for years.

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  5. I love nuts too, but I’ve had to give up all but the softest ones like walnuts, which I can chew until they’re mush. Blech. I suspect diverticulosis, as my mother has it too. And as soon as I gave up my daily ration of almonds and my daily granola bar that – surprise! – turned out to have coconut in it, my problems disappeared. I hate not being able to eat so many things I used to enjoy. *sighs a huge self-centred sigh*

    I’m just glad someone else can enjoy them! Keep on chomping, Diane 🙂

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      • I don’t know if it is actually a gallon – the largest jar I’ve been able to find is 2 kg, which is big but probably not a whole gallon.

        I love any kind of peanut butter, but these days I eat the completely natural kind with nothing but crushed peanuts in it. I used to buy the Kirkland brand from Costco, but they stopped carrying it. Now I either buy Kraft All-Natural (which unfortunately doesn’t come larger than 750 g) or Save-On Foods Western Family brand (which does come in 2 kg jars, hooray). I don’t know if Save-On has made it out to your neck of the woods yet – they started on the west coast and only went into the prairie provinces in the past few years, so they might not be on the east coast yet.

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    • Oh, I’m so sorry you don’t get to enjoy all your favourite goodies anymore – that sucks! My brother-in-law has diverticulosis, too. Would you be able to eat nut flour (finely ground nuts)? If so, you might be able to create some nut-flavoured yummies. Not as good as the real thing, of course, but it might be worth a try…

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  6. I like peanut butter, but for me it is at its best as peanut butter crackers. Yep, the vending machine snacks. Actually, I buy them by the carton at the big box wholesale stores and keep them in snack stash in my office. Well, a big jar of cashews, too. Oh, and a similar sized container of salted peanuts. And a humongous box of microwave popcorn. But that’s all. Really. Except for the refrigerator stuff. Salsa and pico de gallo. And, er, whatever. You know, uh, healthy stuff. Like in the stash. Further, deponent sayeth not.

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  7. How did you know I winced after the first paragraph? I like nuts, too, and keep some in my desk drawer. I really look forward to winter holidays because that usually means expensive nuts and someone else buys them for me. How cool is that! All this talk of nuts makes me want to scratch….

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    • LOL! Scratch away – we can’t see you. That’s just one of the many benefits of cyberspace. And I definitely agree with you about the joy of receiving expensive nuts as a gift – I’d never look gift nuts in the… erm… never mind.

      And as to your wince… well, it was a lucky guess. 😉

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  8. OH my goodness!! Another post that has me rolling and totally relating! I too am one of the nut nuts and I’ve gone into raptures more than once over my love of them and inevitably my guy friends get “that look”: the one that says they know exactly what you’re talking about but it sounds completely obscene and they’re wondering how far this conversation can devolve before someone cries foul or they get slapped, lmao!! But nuts really are a perfect food, as long as you’re not allergic, which I am a little bit. But I’ll brave the asthma attacks because, really, who needs to breath when there are toxins and carcinogens in the air? Hahaha! Now I need to visit my jar of “transcendance” (omg “transcending nutdom”, I love that). Thank you so much for the laugh! Made my day!

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    • I’m glad you got a giggle – you made me laugh, too! “Pshaw, who needs to breathe?” (I hope you keep doing it for a good long time, though.)

      You’re right, nuts are a topic with endless possibilities! My guy friends are always poised to laugh and/or wince during conversations like that. They’re okay with the double entendres, but when the conversation turns to crunching, they start to look a little anxious!

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  9. don’t know why but the first thought in this ‘nutty’ ole head of mine for some reason was poor ole hellhound better watch out. Love that man. sunflower seeds are good. What do they classify as? seeds, nuts or ?????

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    • I think you’re right with ‘seeds’. Hubby is a huge sunflower seed fan, too – if the house is quiet I can hear him all the way from upstairs – a steady ‘crack-plink, crack-plink, crack-plink’ while he works his way through a bag and drops the hulls in a dish to be discarded.

      And I promise I would never threaten Hellhound’s nuts. Some things are sacred. 😉

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  10. Hated peanut butter when I was a kid but have it every morning on toast, with jam, and a banana now. Can’t imagine a different way to start the day. Well, I can but that is another matter altogether.

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  11. Your opening sentence did start me worrying, but I am glad that by the end you admitted that pees are really legumes. and how did you find one of my favorite songs? “Peas, peas, eating goober peas…” I’m going to listen to that song all day.

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  12. I love peanut butter!!! I love peanuts, pistachio nuts and pine nuts but that’s about it for me.

    I once tried to make a satay sauce but ended up just doubling the peanut butter, it was nice but I’ve naver tried to make satay sauce again.

    I really giggled when i saw the tittle of the blog and the first line had me with eyebrows raised thinking really, and giggling harder. You never fail to make me laugh when I need it most

    Still not moved but I’m back to work next week yippee so no doubt it will all happen at once.

    Can’t wait to move so ii can order the paperbacks, oh I don’t think you books will make it across the pond to get into our bookshops somethings to do with your being Canadian and them not wanting to export your books. Thank god for amazon

    Hope every one is good

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    • Hi Karen! I’m glad you got a laugh – sounds like you could use one. I hope you get into your new place soon, and good luck with work! 🙂

      Satay sauce… mmmmm! Doubling the peanut butter can’t be bad, can it?

      It’s too bad about the books – I thought they might be able to get them through Ingram since I know Ingram UK lists the Never Say Spy series; but maybe it’s just more trouble than it’s worth to them. Thanks for being so determined to order them, though – that means a lot to me! 😀

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  13. Your hubby will probably hate me for telling you this, but if you really want a serious love affair with nuts, have you ever made home made peanut butter? A few years back I bought a VitaMix blender (yep, a big investment but SO worth it.) The blades reportedly go about 90mph, and can make peanut butter from peanuts in under 2 minutes. I made some from honey roasted peanuts once…just heaven.

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    • OMG!!! Now I know what I want for Christmas! Except… it’s really hard to get decent peanuts here. For some reason they all seem to be on the verge of going rancid. Even the trail mixes that I buy, I have to keep in the freezer and only pull out what I want to eat within the next few days. I bet good peanuts are easier to find in the States…

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