Tag Archives: oddities

The Closet Reveal

Thanks to everybody who took at guess at which items weren’t in my closet last week!  It was lots of fun (and occasionally slightly disturbing) to read all the guesses and the reasoning behind them.  So, without further ado, here’s the photographic evidence along with my reasons/excuses for harbouring such oddball items.  (Hubby and I share the closet, but for the sake of fairness I only included items that belong to me.)

But first a disclaimer:  we’re actually not total closet-slobs.  Here’s how our closet normally looks:


And here’s the exploded view with the items numbered according to the original list:

closet inventory1

closet inventory2

closet inventory3

closet inventory4

closet inventory5

And now for the explanations:

1. Umpteen pairs of jeans – Yep.  No explanation required.

2. Bellydance scarves with jingly coins – Remember this post with this video?

3. A bearskin rug – It’s a sleigh rug, left over from the 1930s when my dad used to drive the horse and sleigh to elementary school in Manitoba’s bitter-cold winters.  I’m impressed that almost everybody accepted its presence without question!

4. A bag of cosmetics – Believe me, I was as shocked as you when I discovered this ten-year-old item lurking in the bottom of one of my dusty unused handbags.

5. Books – As @krsmithsite pointed out, the proper place for books is on my giant wall of bookshelves; but I keep my first editions tucked away in a storage bin in my closet.

6. Suitcases – I bought the tiger-print because I thought it would be easy to spot on a baggage carousel… and then I ended up in a wrestling match with some other lady who’d thought the same thing and made off with my suitcase thinking it was her own.

7. A stuffed deer head – Nope, but I’m surprised and flattered by the number of people who thought I might have one in there.  It’s good to be unpredictable. 🙂

8. A white cowboy hat decorated with pearls and silk flowers – From our campy western-themed wedding seventeen years ago.  Neither of us cared about “traditional” so we decided to just have fun with it!

Phill & Diane wedding Aug 13 1999 hi-res9. A stuffed rat – Several years ago, Ikea’s toy designers apparently thought every child should have a cuddly rodent, and my funnybone was so tickled that I had to buy a couple.  (Not Fuzzy Bunny, @ElTea, but close.)  The rats migrate around our house, showing up in odd places and provoking chuckles every time.

10. A heart monitor – For use with my Nike Smartwatch at the gym.

11. Wax crayons – I keep some goodies in my closet for when the little great-nieces-and-nephews come to visit.

12. A plastic flute – See above.

13. A set of knives – The same tub contains items that are awaiting either gifting or re-gifting, and I don’t even remember where this carving set came from.  (Shhh, don’t tell.)

14. 4½” candy-apple red stiletto pumps – Nope.  I’d love to say I own a pair, but I don’t.

15. A backpack – Actually, I have a couple of them in there, plus a couple of duffel bags.

16. Half a dozen waist pouches – Sorry, @jenny_o, I really do have half a dozen.  I buy them in bulk whenever I can find them because they’re hard to come by and I wear them out fast.  (My friend Judy refuses to be seen with me while I’m buying them.  I think she’s afraid my fashion disability might be contagious.)

17. A luggage cart – Yep.

18. Pink cowboy boots – That’s a resounding ‘no’.  I do have several pairs of western boots, but I draw the line at pink.

19.Christmas cards – Gotta store ‘em somewhere.

20. A camera tripod – See above.

21. Dusty business clothes – It’s probably about time to vacuum them again

22. A Frisbee – Nope, the Frisbees live in the garage.

23. 4½” leopard-print satin stiletto pumps – I got them for ten bucks at Payless, intending to use them for a photo shoot that never happened.  But they give me a giggle because they make me think of the scene with Lurene and her zebra stilettos in Book 5, so I’m keeping them.  After all, who knows when one might need satin animal-print stilettos?

24. A sequined evening gown – Believe it or not I have one, and it still fits.  It’s a classic design, so I might even wear it again.  Someday.  Maybe.  But not with Item 23.

25. A dead plant – No.  Usually my plants flourish and take over, but if one actually dies I commend its remains to my backyard garden, not my closet.

26. A soap dispenser – Yep, it’s another item in the gift tub.

27. Dust bunnies – I’d love to say no, but the embarrassing truth is that I found a flock of them happily reproducing behind my storage bins.

28. Boxing gloves – One pair 14-oz. boxing gloves; one pair muay thai gloves.

29. Scented candles – These live in the gift tub, too, waiting for their scent to dissipate enough that I can stand to have them in the house.  It’s been about five years so far.

30. A clothes shaver – For some reason I have two.  Never been used.

And… drum roll, please…

As you’ve probably noticed, nobody correctly guessed all five items; but Lois and el Tea were closest with three each.  So, as a tie-breaker I’ll use a random number generator to select a number between 1 and 100 – whoever guesses closest gets an appearance in Book 12!  Ladies, please post your guess in the comments below.

Thanks for playing, everybody!  And now, inquiring minds want to know:  What’s the oddest thing in your closet?

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New discussion over at the Virtual Backyard Book Club:  Watch Your Language, Young Lady!  How do you feel about Aydan’s swearing?  Click here to have your say!


Filed under Humour, Life, Writing