Tag Archives: insults

And Then It Got Ugly

I used to be able to count on spammers to tell me what a marvelous writer I am.  Every day I’d get dozens of compliments about my wonderful colour schemes, my mastery of writing, and my expertise in the subject area. To the spammers, I was a demigod.

In fact, I was so good I even got compliments from beyond the grave:  “You are an excellent wrteir even if I have thought your writing seems sad sometimes! I am so glad you are honest! The truth will set you free, is true! I love you and I am so blessed to be your Mom!”

Wow, thanks, Mom.  I’m amazed at your mastery of the keyboard even after you’ve been dead for thirty years.  Does this mean you’re coming for Sunday dinner?

Okay, so I was pretty sure that last one was from a spammer, but still.  It’s flattery, right?  It’s all good.

Only lately I’ve noticed a subtle and disturbing change.  I mean, I still get “an amazing article dude” and “This really designed my day” and “Wow, fantastic blog fmroat!”.  That’s all fine and dandy.  But some of the comments are veering into ambiguity:  “This blog is just as well cool to become missed”.

Um, thanks… I think…

Or how about this one:  A hilariously complex write-up”.  Is “hilariously complex” a good thing or a bad thing?

But a couple of weeks ago, the comments took a turn for the worse: “My brother suggested I might like this website. He used to be entirely right.”

So what are you trying to say?  He was always right before, but this time he was wrong and you hated my website?

And then it got ugly:

“I have to say that Im really unpisresmed with this. I mean, sure, youve got some very interesting points. But this blog is just really lacking in something. Maybe its content, maybe its just the design. I dont know. But its almost like you wrote this because everybodys doing it. No passion at all.”

And

“Hello, you used to write magnificent, but the last few posts have been kinda boring”

And

“of course like your website however you have to test the spelling on several of your posts. Many of them are rife with spelling problems and I to find it very troublesome”

And

“why throw away your intelligence on just posting videos to your weblog when you could be giving us something informative to read?”

Wow, what a tumble from my previous exalted position.  I guess that’s just the price of fame.  Sooner or later, your fans turn on you.

Spammers never fail to make me laugh.  It’s fine if commenters respectfully disagree with me, but I can’t believe these idiots think I’d leave gratuitous insults posted, or (even more improbable) that I’d click on a link attached to an insult.

Isn’t spamming all about getting people to click on your links?

Repeat after me:  S-T-U-P-I-D; stupid.

But despite the chuckles, I must say I’m unpisresmed with the trend.  Someday it’ll be “Click on this link or we’ll send Guido and Luigi over with the baseball bats”.

The day I get that comment, I’m outta here.

Is anybody else still getting spam love?  Or are the spammers turning on you, too?

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Filed under Humour, Writing