I’ve mentioned several times that I tend to misread text.  I’ve speculated that it may be some latent form of dyslexia, or maybe just a combination of carelessness and a twisted mind.  After the picture I just saw on Facebook, though, I’m leaning toward the probability of a terminally twisted mind.

When I first saw it I thought, “That is a seriously weird picture.  It looks like a little bald alien being throttled from behind by a gorilla”.  Even after staring at it for several seconds, I still couldn’t figure out what it was supposed to be.

At this point, I’ll offer my sincere apologies to the photographer and to whoever posted and/or enjoyed this on the internet, because it was actually a soft-focus silhouette of a mother kissing her child.  Or chewing its throat out; it was hard to be certain.  It was accompanied by a touching text on motherhood, so I presume it’s the former.

Anyway, that’s when I realized there’s a tiny possibility that my mind might be wired just a leetle differently than everybody else’s.

So I did what any self-respecting geek would do:  quantify.  I went looking for Rorschach inkblots on the internet.

And guess what I found?

A troll riding a chopped Harley.

Here he is, with his big ugly feet propped up on the highway pegs, his leather handlebar fringe flying in the breeze:

According to Wikipedia, this is a “nonstandard” response.  Most people interpret it as a bear-skin rug or some other sort of animal hide.  But it’s definitely a biker troll to me.

This one looks like two of Santa’s elves high-fiving over their recent foot amputation:

Though when I looked at it again, I could see two bears dancing upside-down on their forepaws while balancing a traffic hazard cone on each of their butts, squishing pomegranates with one paw.

When I read the first part of the wiki on that one, I thought I might be coming a little closer to the norm; it does actually mention references to blood.

But then they diverged into discussions of sexual overtones and though I pride myself on my dirty mind, that reference sailed right by me.  It’s either dancing bears or elves, and neither of those makes my socks roll up and down.

The rest of the inkblot images are little more ambiguous, and apparently the final one gives most people trouble:

According to the wiki, “people who find it difficult to deal with many concurrent stimuli may not particularly like this otherwise pleasant card”.

Well, I can’t multi-task worth shit.  I can’t even work on the computer and listen to music at the same time.  I get intensely stressed when I’m in a situation where two people are talking to me simultaneously.  Ergo, this card should bother me.

My immediate reaction: “I love it!  It’s a happy little undersea garden with coral and seahorses and fish and blue crab-like critters, all tucked underneath the Eiffel tower.”

Go figure.

So I have to know:  What do you see in these photos?  (I won’t ask if you think I’m abnormal.  I already know the answer to that.)

P.S. I just discovered that WordPress has been displaying ads here on my blog.  I didn’t even realize it was happening because logged-in users don’t see them.  Please accept my apologies – I loathe the thought that you’ve been ad-spammed on my blog!  I just hurried off to pay the pound of flesh that will prevent WordPress from doing that again. 

I don’t know what they might have showed you, but I definitely DO NOT endorse any product or service they’ve advertised here.  I’m very sorry if it appeared that I did. 

Grrr! *stomps off to read the fine print more thoroughly*