“OMG! I am in Paris and I started to read book 1 last night before bed. Went to sleep but woke up at 3am to read more. I’m hooked. Fabulous writing.”

Thrillers With Humour And Heart


I got tired of reading stories about middle-aged female characters who sweetly reminisce about their younger years while the twenty-somethings have all the fun.  I’m not going to stop having adventures just because I’m over… okay, well over forty.  Okay, fine.  Over fifty, but that’s all I’ll cop to.

I’m old(er), not dead.

That’s why I created a kickass, foul-mouthed middle-aged bookkeeper who gets sucked into a spy’s life.  If you like fast-paced action with some laughs along the way, my books are for you.  I hope you enjoy them!

Diane Henders

P.S. Want to be notified when I release a new book? Click here to join my list.


The NEVER SAY SPY series in order:


57 months in the Kindle Top 100 Free!

Despite her penchant for weapons and ripe language, Aydan Kelly’s resumé reads ‘bookkeeper’, not ‘badass’.   She’s leaving the city to fulfill her dream of rural tranquillity when she gets carjacked by a man who shouldn’t exist.

When RCMP officer John Kane kills her would-be abductor, Aydan thinks her troubles are over.  But Kane’s investigation implicates her in an international espionage plot, and criminal charges become the least of her worries when she’s targeted by the very spies Kane suspects her of aiding.

Pity her enemies.  Because nobody’s tougher than a middle-aged woman who wants her dream back.

Now available as an audiobook!


Sliding into bed, I touched the handle of the crowbar under the other pillow for reassurance.  I live alone.  If somebody breaks into my house in the middle of the night, what am I going to do?  Hit them with a pillow?  I don’t think so.

E-book now FREE for Kindle, Apple, Sony, Kobo, and Nook

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5stars2 “Clever premise, funny and smart, takes you on a wild ride, and keeps you guessing.”

5stars2 “Gotta love ’em, quirky yet realistic characters combine with a fast-paced James Bond style plot for a whole new experience in action stories. Can’t wait to read the next one!”

5stars2 “The characters are funny, principled, sexy and flawed…everything that I want in a good story.”


When a clandestine government agency recruits middle-aged bookkeeper Aydan Kelly, she overcomes her fear and agrees to go undercover at a lavish gala affair.  But the glamour of the mission fades fast when she finds herself astride a motorcycle, assigned to an all-male surveillance team.

Aydan discovers spies are using classified technology to torture information from their captives.  Worse, they know she’s breached their security.  Now she has to prevent them from revealing her true identity, while avoiding capture by the vicious criminals who won’t hesitate to torture her, too.

Audiobook to be released December 2019!


I had a sudden mental image of letting fly with a rip-roaring fart halfway through the elegant meal, and snickered.  “You behave,” I said severely to my reflection, struggling to quell its wicked grin.

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5stars2 “I feel like I’ve just finished a wild ride on an overpowered motorcycle – I’m exhausted, shaky and totally exhilarated.”

5stars2 “Just the right amount of violence, sex and good old spy adventure to keep you entertained for hours on end.”

5stars2 “This book is hard to label. Mix in a little scifi, with two parts spy, and one part sex, shaken, not stirred. Chug it down and enjoy.”


Middle-aged bookkeeper Aydan Kelly never wanted to moonlight as a spy, but she doesn’t have a choice.  Working with computer networks in a secured building sounds safe, but it turns out the job’s a killer – literally.

When Aydan’s trusted co-worker is shot while committing an apparently treasonous act, Aydan embarks on a secret mission to clear his name.  But her investigation casts suspicion on the director of operations himself.  If he’s a double agent, Aydan’s in more danger than she ever imagined… and national security hangs in the balance.


Jesus, my yard was starting to feel like a Village People reunion.  So far I had the cop, the biker, and the cowboy.  My overstressed brain temporarily disengaged as I glanced toward the road, half-expecting to see a musclebound construction worker approaching.

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5stars2 “This series just gets better and better! I can’t stop reading! More action, turns and twists, great character development, and one hell of a fun read.”

5stars2 “OMG – fun fun fun and sexy too.”

5stars2 “I just can’t keep away. For Kelly, I’d even leave Bond behind. In the dust!”


Aydan Kelly has reluctantly accepted her unwanted role as a part-time spy.  It’s painful and dangerous, but she’s willing to make the sacrifice for the good of her country.  Too bad her country doesn’t have the same honourable intentions.

When Aydan discovers the government murdered her husband, the betrayal drives her on a quest to uncover the truth.  Living as a fugitive, alienated from the people she once trusted, she has to evade both government agents and the violent criminals who will sell her to the highest bidder.


My ass hurt like a bitch, it had taken me all goddamn night to get ten miles out of town, and I was starving, exhausted, and scared shitless.  And I had a Glock and a Bible.  Hell, what could possibly go wrong?

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5stars2 “This is the fourth book in a series that just keeps getting better. Aydan Kelly and Hellhound are hands down two of my favorite people in the whole world…”

5stars2 “YAHOO …A series mature women might seriously enjoy as a temporary “escape” from the challenges of their daily grind.”

5stars2 I haven’t been this hooked on a series like this since Karin Slaughter.”


Suspense thriller How Spy I Am by Diane Henders

In her work with a clandestine government agency, Aydan Kelly stumbles across a shadowy consortium of scientists whose members are selling classified information for personal profit.

Aydan wants to report them, but there’s a small complication:  her supposedly dead husband… isn’t.  He wants to rendezvous with her, but he could be working with the consortium.  If she rats on the scientists, her husband will die.  But if she doesn’t, the consortium will kill her…


I fixed him with a weary eye.  “Shoot me, tell me what’s on your mind, or shut the fuck up.  Or hell, do all of them, in any order you please.”

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5stars2 “I’ve since devoured all five books in the series. Honestly, they’re like potato chips–I couldn’t stop.”

5stars2 “Enjoyed not only this Spy book by Diane Henders but all the rest of her Spy books besides. Kept me up reading just could not put these books down.”

5stars2 “I was so caught up in Aydan’s adventure that I bought one after another to discover answers to the mystery and intrigue that she was entangled in. It has been refreshing to read a book with a middle aged strong capable woman as the main character.”


Aydan Kelly’s part-time job with a clandestine government organization just got a lot more complicated.  Forced to lie to save her lover’s career, she tells the director she’s an experienced secret agent.  He believes her… and assigns her to a dangerous mission.

When Aydan realizes innocent lives are at stake, she tries to confess her deception, but it’s already too late.  Cut off from the Department and used as a pawn in the vengeful schemes of an obsessed spy, she must stop him before he destroys the people she loves.


Oh, goody.  I’d learned another valuable spy-skill.  If you’re planning to shoot a spy, don’t knock on his front door.  Duh.

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5stars2 “Downloaded “A Spy For A Spy” on my Kindle this morning. Couldn’t stop reading!!! BEST book of the series!!!”

5stars2 “D Henders is one of the most talented writers I’ve had the privilege of reading. The way she makes you feel like your wearing the skin of her characters is a truly an amazing thing. This gave me goose bumps!” – Amy Swendra, MN

5stars2 “The characters, plots and sub-plots are incredibly well developed. The writing is superb and reads fast. I have read all six books in this series in four days. I absolutely could not put them down. Wish I could give these books each more than five stars.”


Middle-aged bookkeeper Aydan Kelly knew pretending to be an experienced secret agent was a bad idea, but it was the only way to protect her lover.  Now her lies have caught up to her in the worst possible way:  everyone believes them.

Armed with nothing but a sleazy porn-star cover identity, Aydan must infiltrate a criminal organization to retrieve a secret weapon prototype.  With her lover’s life at stake as well as her own, she can’t afford to fail.  But she has no idea how to succeed…


Nine-fifteen, pitch dark, freezing cold, and I was about to drive two hours for the privilege of walking alone into a biker bar in the middle of the night.  Well, just give me a ‘hell yeah’.

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5stars2 Outstanding! Diane Henders is one of 5 authors I recommend for almost any reader. Wow. Have fun.”

5stars2 Nail biting, tear shedding, heart wrenching, humor in all the right places. I mean, WHEW!”

5stars2 “Excellent work with the characters and plot line. Such a unique story, and love the writing!”


08_Spy_Now_Pay_LaterRailroaded into acting as a secret agent, Aydan Kelly only wants to return to her peaceful former existence.  But when trusted co-workers go missing along with a deadly weapon prototype, she’s forced to take over the investigation to protect them from an agent with a personal vendetta.

And when a violent criminal organization abducts her lover, Aydan discovers exactly how far she’s willing to push the limits of her new role.  The bad guys are about to learn an important lesson:  Don’t piss off a middle-aged bookkeeper.


How much did I really trust Stemp?  I didn’t know the man at all.  My gut told me he wouldn’t betray us, but what the hell did my gut know?  This was the same gut that thought it was a good idea to pig out on beer and burgers right before bed…

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5stars2 “One of the best series I have ever read and I’ll say the author is a master of her craft. Her descriptions and pacing of the stories are perfection.”

5stars2 “I can not imagine how anyone can continue to write such awesome well developed stories that draw me in until I can not sleep until I finish the book. Then I want to read it again.”

5stars2 “This is a must read for anyone who loves romance and lots of action and suspense. Wow! Wonderful series. Please bring the next installment soon.”


After four uneventful months spent guarding her boss’s eccentric hippy parents on an isolated raincoast commune, bookkeeper-turned-secret-agent Aydan Kelly is beginning to hope mildewed undies will be the only hazard she’ll face.

But some of the blissed-out flower children are not what they seem.  Aydan discovers a plot to kill her lovable charges, and in her fight to protect them she unearths the commune’s deepest secret.  Suddenly she’s facing dozens of enemies who threaten the lives of all the innocent commune members as well as her own.

She’ll only survive with a little help from her friends…


How the hell was I supposed to get down from the roof? As soon as my boots scraped the shingles Nichele would come running out with her flashlight again. And I couldn’t think of any plausible excuse if she caught me squatting up here like a constipated gargoyle.

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5stars2 “…a great read. I found myself smiling while reading. And then gritting my teeth with tension, while the suspense and mystery built.

5stars2 “This was one of those books that kept me engaged from page 1. And that meant, I was up until 2:30am finishing!”

5stars2 “The suspense is top notch, the humor is perfectly balanced with the intensity of the moments. Each character is so well defined that you can’t help but know them as if they were old friends, or enemies…”


Bookkeeper-turned-secret-agent Aydan Kelly has barely begun to relax after her last mission when a shotgun-wielding man kicks in the front door of her country home. She doesn’t recognize the would-be assassin, so who hired him and why?

As evidence mounts against her abrasive co-worker, Aydan begins a deadly game of cat and mouse with herself as bait. If her suspicions are correct, the Department’s security has been breached and no one is safe.

With the lives of her dearest friends at risk as well as her own, Aydan must stop her unknown enemy before the next assassin succeeds.


He’d never know how lucky he was that my emotions were currently encased in several layers of ice.  Instead of violent rage, I achieved only intense irritation.  I grabbed his scarf and twisted hard.  “Bring it, dickbreath,” I barked in his face.  “I’ve had enough of your bullshit.  Any time you want to dance, little man, you just name the time and place.”

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5stars2 “…sucked me in so deep I can barely put the book down. Who needs sleep right?”

5stars2 “Like the other books it’s funny, enjoyable, fast paced, “can’t put it down” type book with lots of action. The characters are well developed and relate-able and there’s always a twist or two in the story.”

5stars2 “…so superbly detailed so that at the end of that section you feel almost out of breath… An amazing story. I could go on forever but it would keep me from reading it again.”


Secret agent Aydan Kelly is hoping to resume her peaceful life as a bookkeeper, until her director issues an ultimatum: Go undercover as an arms dealer or go to jail for life. But when Aydan realizes her co-worker’s son has been taken by a serial killer, she defies orders in an attempt to save the child.

Neglecting her undercover assignment may cost more than just her freedom. When the gunrunner she’s been baiting threatens her loved ones, Aydan must choose between protecting them herself or entrusting their safety to geriatric amateur vigilantes while she closes in on the killer.

How much will she risk for a child who may already be dead?


“Lola!” I interrupted.  “Please tell me you’re not forming a vigilante group.”

“Oh, fiddlesticks, Aydan!”  She gave a light innocent laugh that set off all my alarm bells.  “You know me better than that.”

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5stars2 “Fierce and fantastic… This book in particular was riveting and, as usual, I can’t wait for the next one.”

5stars2 “I loved the new “Jane Bond” gadgets that were used in this story. I read this non-stop once I started. It’s just that great!”

5stars2 “…strong characters and quirky humour!!  I tried to savor this one, but couldn’t leave it alone. I wanted it to last forever, but wanted to know how it ended even more.”


Reluctant secret agent Aydan Kelly is posing as an arms dealer when her gangland buyer is implicated in a deadly plot to attack Remembrance Day services.

Partnered with an agent she can’t trust, Aydan races against time to stop the terrorists; but her partner’s volatile temper might blow the whole op… if it doesn’t kill her first.  And when she discovers her lover is embroiled in the case, Aydan must decide:  Will she sacrifice him to save hundreds of innocent lives?


I jumped back as Holt scissored his legs in a sweep that would have brought me crashing down to the pavement beside him.  He rolled to his feet, murder in his eyes.  A voice from months ago spoke in my memory: “…he’s unstable… And he’s almost as advanced in hand-to-hand combat as Kane…”

I only had time for one word.

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5stars2OMG! Talk about being EXPLOSIVE! I love Ayden!

5stars2 “Irresistible.  Don’t start the series unless you have free time because you are not going to want to put the books down.

5stars2This was another heartthrob of a read. Makes my heart race when I read your books.


Escorting Canada’s top weapons developers to an international summit should be just another stressful day in the life of secret agent Aydan Kelly.  But Aydan’s routine mission becomes a nightmare when she’s accused of an attack on the delegates and the theft of a classified weapon.

As evidence mounts against her, Aydan’s own investigation suggests she might have unconsciously committed the crime.  Burned by her own Department and hunted by MI6, CIA, and FBI, Aydan must decide:  When her own mind might betray her, who can she trust?


There was so much bullshit floating around us, the air was turning brown. I added my own shovelful.  “Well, it was very nice to meet you,” I lied. “But it’s been an exhausting day and I’m going to go and grab a drink.  Excuse me.”  I left them standing there eyeing each other with thinly-veiled suspicion.

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5stars2 “I want more!  Edge of your seat action kept me turning the pages. Quickly! I can’t get enough of this series.”

5stars2 “I SCORCHED through the first 12 books in a matter of days… so this was the first time I had to wait for a new story. It was well worth it! All my favourite characters were there with their usual delightful, sexy, and thrilling charms. If you love the series, you will no doubt lap this book up like I did.”

5stars2 “All of her colorful cast of characters are there to pursue another breathtaking adventure that defies you to quit turning the pages. I must confess; I read this one in one sitting!”


Secret agent Aydan Kelly’s supposedly-dead mother Nora has resurfaced after thirty years, and the chain of command suspects her of treason.  With only two weeks before Nora leaves the country under diplomatic immunity, Aydan struggles to piece together her mother’s questionable past.

Two days into Aydan’s investigation Nora announces she’s leaving early, and Aydan’s director gives her an ultimatum:  Solve the case before Nora escapes, or face imprisonment for dereliction of duty.  Meanwhile, an unknown enemy is stalking Aydan’s friends and the threats are escalating.

When time runs out and prison walls loom, claustrophobic Aydan must make an unthinkable choice: Sacrifice her friends, or lose her freedom forever.

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Book 15 draft is finished!

The draft is DONE!  It’s already been vetted by the first beta reader, and now I’m into my first round of revisions.  Title and release date coming soon!   🙂

(Click to enlarge graph)


The INAPPROPRIATE series in order:


Diane Henders is a Canadian humorist, computer geek, and ex-interior designer who deals with her mid-life crisis by lying through her teeth (referred to in polite society as “fiction writing”).

“Probably Inappropriate” is a selection of posts from her blog at

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Diane Henders is a Canadian humorist, computer geek, and ex-interior designer who deals with her mid-life crisis by lying through her teeth (referred to in polite society as “fiction writing”).

“Definitely Inappropriate” is the second volume of posts from her blog at

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Diane Henders is a Canadian humorist, computer geek, and ex-interior designer who deals with her mid-life crisis by lying through her teeth (referred to in polite society as “fiction writing”).

“Totally Inappropriate” is the third volume of posts from her blog at

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Diane Henders is a Canadian humorist, computer geek, and ex-interior designer who deals with her mid-life crisis by lying through her teeth (referred to in polite society as “fiction writing”).

“Completely Inappropriate” is the fourth volume of posts from her blog at

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Diane Henders is a Canadian humorist, computer geek, and ex-interior designer who deals with her mid-life crisis by lying through her teeth (referred to in polite society as “fiction writing”).

“Unabashedly Inappropriate” is the fifth volume of posts from her blog at

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280 responses to “Books

  1. Jackie Chapin

    Loved all of them. Just finished #14. Wow, roller coaster rides have nothing on your plots and characters. I am 74 and get so bored with the very young female spies. Aydan is perfect. I started a new career when I was 46 and had a lot of angst like she does. Can really relate to her. Read all the series in 10 days. Yep, housework had to wait, lol. Thank you for a great series.


    • You’re welcome, Jackie — I’m pumped that you loved the series enough to blast through it like that! Starting a new career at 46 does come with its own special brand of angst, doesn’t it? Been there… 😉

      Thanks for taking the time to drop by and comment — your lovely compliments made my day!


  2. Patt R

    I fell in love with this series from book 1! I love the twists and turns; especially feeling empathy with Aydan. I love pretending to be her when reading. I can’t wait to see the next adventure.


    • Thanks, Patt — that’s so great to hear! I get immersed in Aydan while writing her, too. Sometimes that’s a lot of fun; other times it’s a little scary. 🙂 Thanks for visiting and commenting!


  3. Kathryn Eckford

    I started the series a little over a week ago. I have just finished book 14. I couldn’t put the series down. Thank for the escape from the trials of today’s grind. When is book 15 coming out?


    • Hi Kathryn! Wow, you devoured the series — I’m so glad you enjoyed it! Book 15 has had a slow start during an insanely busy summer, but I’m looking forward to spending some quality time with it now. I’d LOVE to release it in time for Christmas; but unless the stars align exactly, it will likely be early next year. I’ll continue to post my progress on this page, so stay tuned!


  4. Tracy Hawley Hawley

    I truly enjoy this series. Wish I could slow down in ready so they would last longer but I’m a have to know kind of girl,so I can’t put it down because there always so good. THANK YOU for sharing your talent with all of us.


  5. Linda Staples

    I’m loving your books. BUT are you going to keep them coming or do you actually have an end in sight…


    • It’s great to hear that you’re loving the series! There will definitely be a Book 15. After that, I’m not sure. I’ve never had a set-in-stone ‘vision’ for the series — I had originally thought it would only be three books. Then six. Then Book 8 was going to be the last one. Then… well, you get the picture. So I won’t make any promises, but I’ve still got lots of ideas! 🙂


  6. Kristy

    Since the first chapter of the first book, I have been hooked. It has taken me 2 and a half weeks to get through all 14 and I can not wait for the next one to come out! I absolutely love the series and your writing and I am so glad I stumbled upon these books. Happy writing!


    • Wow, you really blew through those books! That’s awesome! I’m so glad to hear you’ve been loving the series. I love writing it, so every writing day is ‘happy writing’ for me. 🙂

      Thank you so much for taking the time to tell me — your encouragement means a lot! I’m off to work on Book 15 now…


  7. Karen L Lynn

    I am sooo hooked on this series. I am hopelessly in love with your characters and the ever changing plot lines. I can’t put it down once I start reading, and then I instantly click on the next book. This is more than 5 stars. It’s out of the park 10. Thank you for sharing your wonderful, steamy, sexy, and riveting stories. I love them all equally and can’t wait for the next installment. Thank you for continuing the series!! Feel free to use any or all of these comments!


    • Thank you so much, Karen! 😀 I love writing about Aydan and the gang, and it makes my day to hear that you love reading about them. I can hardly wait to start Book 15 — it’s been clamouring in my brain, and your encouragement makes me even more eager to start!

      It means a lot to me that you took the time to drop by and comment — thanks again!


  8. Barrie Lloyd

    Once again many hours of lost sleep caused by the “Just one more chapter” syndrome. Like the previous 13 books in the series, this one combines suspense, humour and total unpredictability into a very readable work of genius. I can’t wait for book 15.


    • Thank you, Barrie! I’m sorry you lost some sleep, but I’m glad it was because of Book 14. 🙂 I’m hoping to start 15 very soon, so stay tuned…

      I really appreciate your kind words — thanks for taking the time to drop by and comment!


  9. Beth

    Just finished Book 14 the series just keeps getting better. Can’t wait for the next one.


    • Hooray! I’m so glad you enjoyed Book 14! 😀 Releasing a new book is stressful for me — I’m always hoping so hard that I don’t disappoint anyone. Thanks for your encouragement!


  10. Mary L Smith

    Love the entire series. Always have to read the last and new books whenever one comes out. Keep up the great work


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  12. Sally Wilson

    OhMGee.. 🙂 Barnes and Noble (for E-Books) has dedicated a special window just for me..I was buying a book a day (fast reader) of your Spy series. I was begining to think your were going to keep us on tenderhooks forever but got some relief after #13..Identities revealed!! Thank you. I am 76 and my patience has pretty much dried up. #9, for some reason, is my favorite so far. Appeared Aydan got more rest. Yes, I am waiting for #14 so get on it girl…Life is uncertain.


    • LOL! I’m on it! (It might be a little while, though.) 😉

      I’m pumped that #9 is your favourite – to tell the truth, I having a sneaking fondness for it, too (but don’t tell my other books). Maybe it’s because I had so much fun writing Moonbeam and Karma and Skidmark for the first time in #9. Getting to know Stemp’s off-the-wall parents made him seem so much more human.

      Thank you for taking the time to come by and comment – I appreciate your encouragement! 🙂


  13. Brenda

    Just discovered this series last week, so I’m just on book 8. Obviously I’m really enjoying it but I really, really, really, really want her to end up with Kane! And more Stemp. He’s an interesting character.


    • Hi Brenda! It’s great to hear that you’re enjoying the series so far – thanks for commenting! Stay tuned, because Aydan and Kane’s story is far from over and even I’m not quite sure how it will end up. And if you like Stemp, you’re in luck: There’s a lot more character development for him in Books 9 through 13. I hope you enjoy it! 🙂


  14. drae

    I had finished #13 and decided to start over with #1 and am glad I did. Have found enough “forgotten” details in the books that it is almost like reading a new series.

    Your description of “Stemp” has me picturing John Hillerman who played Higgins on Mangum PI years ago. All the character descriptions create images that one can see in their mind. Try and keep Aydan and her crew out of trouble, but I guess that would take some of the fun out of our reading and your writing. Love the fact that most of the characters seem to be at least 45 and up and still going strong. Their various “adventures” seem more possible than imagining a 25 0 30 having them.


    • Hi Drae! I’m pumped that you found the series held up to re-reading! As the series progresses I have to be careful to recall all those little details to make sure I don’t slip up with continuity – always a challenge.

      It’s cool that you see the characters in your mind’s eye. Higgins would have made a good Stemp! 🙂 I enjoy writing middle-aged characters for the exact reason you mention: They’re so much more complex and interesting, and much more inclined to perceive shades of gray where a younger person would see only black and white.

      Thank you so much for taking the time to drop by and comment!


  15. Barbara V

    Really love this woman. The author and “spy” woman. I would give it 5 stars but for some reason amazon wont let post a review. Some garbage about having a connection to product or author. I am just an 83 year old who knows what she likes to read. So you just keep fussin and cussin and I will keep reading.


    • Thank you so much for trying to post a review, Barbara! I don’t know what notion Amazon takes to block people for no apparent reason. I know they’re trying to prevent scammers from leaving fake reviews; but they often go on witch hunts and block innocent people, too. I’m sorry that happened to you, but I really appreciate that you tried.

      And I’m thrilled that you loved the book (and Aydan, and me as an author). 😀 Thanks again!


  16. Elizabeth Poole

    Really good 👍read


  17. Leslie Anderson

    I love Diane’s writing! So full of humor and action with unexpected turns around every corner. And her appreciation for slightly older heroines is very refreshing. Please keep writing as fast as you can . . .l


  18. Judy Largent

    You just keep throwing more guys into the mix for Aydan to *ahem* . (Kane, Hellhound, Tom, Orion, Blue Eddy, Chow, ????)


  19. Judy Largent

    Shoot! Read it in one day! Now what am I going to read?


  20. Beth Pattillo

    I loved book 13! Tension love tension love and happy endings (or at least a respite until book 14)! Can’t wait to read the next adventure!!


    • I’m so glad you loved Book 13, Beth – that makes my day! 😀 I’m eager to get started on Book 14, too. I’ve already started plotting it, so I hope to post some progress on this page soon!


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