It Fell From The Sky

/ Diane Henders

Several months ago, before there was snow on the ground (yes, we had snow; stop laughing), I looked out the front window one morning and saw a rabbit’s foot. Clearly not a lucky one, since it had been recently detached from the rabbit.

I’ve never been squeamish, but I have to admit that being confronted by a dismembered limb first thing in the morning was a bit… disconcerting. (Although probably not as disconcerting as it was for the victim.)

I grew up on a farm, so this wasn’t the first time I’d discovered evidence of some predator’s successful hunt; but it was unique in that there were no other signs of carnage. No tufts of fur flung wide, no other remains, nothing. That was what weirded me out: The fact that the leg had apparently dropped from the clear blue sky.

A moment’s thought reminded me that we now live in eagle habitat, so after that it wasn’t too hard to guess who ate the rest of the rabbit. Still, it was a bit disturbing.

But life went on (for us; not the rabbit), and a couple of weeks later we poured a concrete pad in front of our house, effectively interring the rabbit remains. All was forgotten.

Until two weeks ago, when I looked out the front window and saw this:

Hubby and I had each taken a walk and followed different paths several yards apart. Neither of us dropped or threw anything. So… what’s that divot in the snow, at least six feet away from the nearest footprints?

I ventured over with some reluctance to check it out, but there were no grisly remains. So either we have a tiny volcanic vent in front of our house, or else the eagle flew over again and dropped something a little more *ahem* liquid in that spot.

Meanwhile, I’m happy to report that the snow is gone, and spring is on its way. Our crocuses are blooming (at least the ones that managed to escape our hungry squirrels), and we are the proud proprietors of a penis garden. It’s more work than you might think: We have to be vigilant about turning it every day to make sure the sprouting schlongs don’t develop a permanent curvature.

I didn’t want to post anything pornographic, so instead of the original flock of phalluses, here’s the end result:

The amaryllis garden in its (mostly) post-porn phase

What’s popped up in your world this week?

Book 16 progress: I’m on Chapter 42 and Aydan has finally discovered who’s trying to kill her; but now a sniper isn’t the worst of her problems. Things are getting complicated…

34 thoughts on “It Fell From The Sky”

  1. It’s all quiet here at the Mansion, Diane. Nothing falling unexpectedly or anything. Things are disappearing however, but that seems to happen from time to time!😊

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  2. For us visual thinkers, you have done a very graphic job describing spring flowers rising into a full bloom. Back to sadder things….the poor rabbit….ugh. Also the depression in the snow….weird to say the least, but your snow shot is beautiful!!

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    • Thanks, the snow was beautiful! I enjoy snow, as long as it doesn’t stay around for too long. I’ve had enough of it for this year; and it looks as though we’ve (hopefully) had our last significant snowfall. The folks who live on the coast haven’t seen a snowflake in a long time, but our place at the base of the mountains is a different story.

      And “graphic” is about the best description I’ve heard for the way those amaryllis shoots poke upward! 😉

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  3. The only close call I’ve had with flying turds was on a road trip, with the sunroof open on the highway, and apparently something flying overhead (I seem to recall seagulls) launched whatever expulsion was inside and nailed the seat just to the right of my shoulder.

    I had an unintended revenge several years later. Two seagulls swooped down in front of the windshield on the expressway unexpectedly, and all I recall seeing in the rearview mirror was an explosion of feathers. Like I’d smacked head first into a pile of pillows.

    We unfortunately have a power line and the cable Internet line running above the driveway. Apparently our cars must have targets painted on them, which are only visible to those with wings. Little bastids.

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    • That made me laugh and think of the Far Side cartoon that was captioned something like “What birds see”, and it was a top view of people and cars, each with a target painted on it.

      You were luckier on your road trip than Hubby. We were in downtown Victoria when seagull scored a direct hit. It was sheer good luck that Hubby happened to be wearing a hat at the time. The hat was quite a bit the worse for wear. Seagulls are sick, sick birds.

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      • Eww, jeez, yeah, I’d have to get rid of that hat! Seagulls are revered in Utah since, as legend has it, they saved the first crops the Mormon pioneers planted by swarming in to eat all the insects (which are sometimes called Mormon crickets) that were destroying them. There’s even a Seagull Monument outside the assembly hall in Temple Square in downtown Salt Lake City.

        And my warped sense of humor remembers that Far Side cartoon quite well! The real treat was Gary Larson’s book The PreHistory of The Far Side, which contained personal anecdotes, favorite cartoons and the best part, some cartoons that were rejected and not published until this book came out. I would have to reread it to see if there are any further bird misadventures in that tome…

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        • I have all of Gary Larson’s other books, but somehow I missed The PreHistory. Must hustle over to Amazon now and grab it — thanks for the tip! His cartoons are pure genius.

          And wow, I learn something new every day. I had no idea that there was a part of the world in which seagulls are actually revered. I’m not sure you could convince the homeowners who live on the coast here — their days and nights are filled with the sounds of seagulls stomping and squabbling on their roofs. And hosing off the mess after the seagull party? No, thanks.

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  4. We used to have many wild rabbits in the neighbourhood however the coyotes have done quite the job of decreasing the population. Thankfully they don’t leave any lucky souvenirs behind.

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    • It definitely put the damper on my deck-sitting for a few days. It’s hard to get the sounds of violent death out of your memory, even if it is only a rabbit.

      And my asp thanks you. 😉

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  6. Could you please send me a list of the books you have written? I have read a lot of them but I am sure you have written some more and I have been out of contact for a while. The books that I have read of yours were outstanding especially the mystery one. Would you do that for me please.

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  7. You mean what has popped up or fell down in our world, right? Well, your rabbit story reminded me of visiting friends and finding two panes cleanly removed out of a window with different glass panes. No damage and no other remains. And, that remains a mystery to this day. Thanks for posting a photo of the flowers and not the rabbit foot. I’m still curious about that imprint in the snow, though. Let us know if more details pop up! 🙂

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    • Missing glass panes? How bizarre. That’s the sort of thing that keeps a person awake and wondering.

      I did briefly consider a photo of the rabbit foot, but it was pretty gross. I have very little taste or restraint, but that was a bridge too far even for me.

      So far no wisps of steam have issued from our driveway, so I’m going to go with ‘eagle droppings’, for now. But it would have been pretty nice to have a volcanically-heated hot tub. 😉

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  8. Ooh and ahhh.
    The prettiest penises I ever did see. And the same goes for their eruptions too.
    We had a cat who brought in rabbits. She left us the tail and the ears (and the clean-up detail). Another cat who considered himself a doughty hunter used to bring us lambs tails. Often with the band still attached, telling us at length about the fight they put up.

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    • Lambs’ tails?!? Good Lord, that’s some hunter! One of our old mother cats on the farm used to catch rabbits (fortunately outdoors where we didn’t have to clean them up). She had to exercise good judgement, though, because out there we had mostly jackrabbits (which are actually hares that are more than twice the size of a rabbit… or a cat).

      The last of the amaryllis flowers are opening today: There are some gorgeous hot pink ones, and a deep red one with a white star. Such spectacular blooms!

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  10. Every once in a while I will find wingprints in virgin snow where an owl has taken some hapless critter. Often there is but one drop of blood at the site, too.
    A phine phlock of phormer phalluses you have there!

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    • LOL! Why thank you! When they were all coming up, it was a blush-worthy sight. Or snicker-worthy, if you happen to be me.

      I was relaxing on our deck at twilight a couple of years ago when an owl (or something) picked off a rabbit in the trees only a few yards away. The sudden violent rustle didn’t startle me too much, but the bloodcurdling scream sure did. Kinda spoiled my zen moment.

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  11. We do not have any eagles in our area but we did have 10 Canadian geese pop up in our field beside our house last Friday, something that I have never seen before. I am not sure why they were attracted to this area but they spent most of the day wandering around the field and our backyard. Our cat Sam was quite dismayed by their appearance and thought he should defend his turf. I went outside with him in case he would need to be rescued. He stealthily approached the geese until he was about 30 feet away. The geese slowly moved away and Sam thinking he had saved the day (or perhaps realizing just how big these birds were) turned around and walked away. Of course the geese promptly returned to our yard.

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    • Those Canadian geese are huge! When I was a kid we lived on a farm right in their migratory path, so they were frequent visitors. Your Sam reminded me of one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen: A half-grown kitten who spotted the geese and thought dinner had arrived. The kitten dropped belly to the ground and ever-so-slowly crept closer to the nearest goose, which was nibbling at some lush grass and utterly ignoring its stalker. Closer and closer… until the kitten was finally close enough to realize that the goose was about four times its size. After a suspenseful pause, the kitten stood up, shook itself, and sauntered off looking nonchalant. If geese could laugh, I’m pretty sure that one did!

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  12. Amaryllith-th-th! A favorite line from The Music Man!

    I’ve never seen anything living or dead fall from the sky! (Glances around furtively) That’s my story and it’s sticking to me. 🥴😏

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