Amaryllis And Avocats

/ Diane Henders

Like many Canadians, I’m semi-bilingual.  I took eight years of French in school and still read French reasonably well; but the only times I use it are when I accidentally pick up a container with the French label facing outward, and when some crossover in vocabulary gives me a giggle.

That happened just the other day:  Hubby (whose entire French vocabulary consists of ‘oui’) was telling me about an incident where a truckload of rotten produce had been refused by a composting site because the little plastic sticky-labels were still affixed.

He began, “So this truckload of rotten avocats…”

I burst out laughing.

“I meant avocados,” he interrupted.

“I know,” I said, still laughing.  “That’s what’s so funny.”

I then explained that, against all odds, he had inadvertently managed to use the French word for ‘avocado’.  And he’d tickled my funnybone, since ‘avocat’ also means ‘lawyer’ in French.

Now I really want to hear the rest of the story that begins, “So this truckload of rotten lawyers…”

At this point I’ll resist the urge to tell lawyer jokes; partly because I have some very nice friends who are lawyers, but mostly because I prefer to avoid antagonizing people who have the time, inclination, and skill to sue my ass off.

Instead, here are some pretty pictures.  The crocuses are in bloom outside, and inside our amaryllis bulbs are putting on a show.  I just love those gorgeous colours!

These little beauties are just starting outside.

 

These guys are three feet tall!

 

Flame orange…

 

Hot pink…

 

…and gorgeous deep satiny red!

Book 15 update:  I’m on Chapter 35 and going strong!  I just wrote a car chase that takes place in Regina, Saskatchewan in the middle of winter.  I think I managed to make it a little more exciting than this spoof from a commercial for winter tires:

27 thoughts on “Amaryllis And Avocats”

  1. Looks like spring is right around the corner for you guys!! As for my language skills…..I do speak a little German (took 2 years in high school) and remember on a trip to Austria memorizing how to order breakfast for my wife and I at a restaurant we stopped in. I delivered it well, waiter wrote it all down and everything looked good from my perspective. Unfortunately he then asked me a question in German and I found myself staring at him. After an uncomfortable moment, he asked me in perfect English how I wanted our eggs, over easy, over medium or scrambled.

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    • LOL! Thank you, that’s a wonderful blessing! Maybe I’ll offer it as a toast at our next gathering and enjoy the ‘are you crazy?!?’ looks. 🙂

      Happy skiing! We haven’t been out this year, but Mount Washington is open with a 160cm base. It could still happen…

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  4. Who knew your hubby speaks French and doesn’t like lawyers… 🙂 I often make mistakes in English that causes a grin on my husband’s face. Sometimes I do this out of laziness, sometimes I literally translate from Dutch, and very sometimes, I just don’t know any better. Language is a funny thing! Beautiful flowers!

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    • Language is a never-ending source of entertainment! I have a couple of Finnish friends who delight in wordplay — I’m not sure whether that’s a “Finnish” thing, or just a sign that I enjoy friends with agile minds. 🙂

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  5. I was worried when you didn’t show up for two weeks. The book is coming great guns, so that explains it. The flowers are lovely.
    Tanya laughs at me sometimes when I mispronounce a word and it comes out something different.
    When I was going to China in the early 90s, I tried to learn a few words in Mandarin but the tones escaped me totally. Anyhow, I gave it up when I asked for more water dumplings but it turned out I asked the waitress to sleep with me.

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    • That would definitely make for an awkward situation when you offered her the tip. 😉

      And yes, I’ve scaled back to posting every two weeks so I can concentrate on Book 15. It’s nice to finally make some major progress on it! We’ve been here for nearly 3 years, and the disruption of the move is slowly subsiding. This is why I hate moving, and avoid it for decades at a time if possible. If I have my way, I’ll live in our current home until a) I leave for the old folks’ home carrying only a couple of suitcases; or b) they carry me out feet-first, no suitcases required.

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  6. Floral porn! So nice to see colors from this land of white and gray, but rumor has it that it might get up to freezing this weekend! The chase scene hits close to home. When you are stopped and try to get out on the main road and nothing happens.

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  7. Ooooh at the crocus AND at the amaryllus. Garden porn (catalogues) is landing in my inbox and my amil box at the moment. And I WILL succumb.
    I can read a little French, and speak virtually none and understand less. To my shame. How I wish that I had learned a language (other than my own) while my brain was more flexible.

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    • My mom spoke low German, and I’ve always wished I had learned it from her as a kid. Children’s brains just seem to soak up knowledge like that SO much more easily. But, like everything, continuing to use it is the key. Even if I had learned it, I wouldn’t have been able to maintain it.

      We’ve already succumbed to the hortiporn — ordered our seeds and received them. We managed to restrain ourselves a bit this year (but probably not as much as we should have). Now we’re eager to start growing!

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  8. Ha! I’ve seen that Canadian chase before and it STILL cracks me up! It reminds me of the meme of a “Canadian protest” scene with the lady holding the sign saying, “I am a little upset.” I can’t remember if she’s clutching a Tim Horton’s in the other hand.

    My better half works with lawyers, and to say they are like rotting avocats is being unfair to the avocados. This is non-profit legal aid, and I’m not saying the attorneys she works with are bad, but some of the types of lawyers you find at this level of society are…sleazy, to put it very mildly, and the opposing parties (usually slum lords in the landlord/tenant cases) aren’t willing to put out much money to get quality representation.

    My bilingualness (is that a word?) comes from two things–ten weeks of both Spanish and French in middle school, and countless menus and road signs throughout my travels. Oh, and of course, the Speedy Gonzales and Pepe Le Pew cartoons I grew up with. My favorite exclamation? “Avec!” Sounds so exciting for such an innocuous word! Travel was mainly from the Motor City up to Ste. Jovite (Quebec), to a resort we vacationed at when I was in my younger teens. Aside from the often rainy weeks we’d have up there in the Laurentians, it was always a good time. And some of the staff were amusing, like the maitre d’ Jean Claude who would trip at the same spot in the floor every year while parading the baked Alaska around the huge dining area each Sunday.

    So the short version–if I got stranded in Canada or Mexico, I probably couldn’t do much beside order from a menu. At least I won’t starve!

    No blooms here yet! So I’m enjoying your blooms. Keep ’em coming! We actually had a few sunny days, so, Spring can’t be all that far away, I’m thinking. I did notice our day lilies are already starting to peek up through the mulch. We’ve had a very mild winter again. Let’s hope May and June aren’t rainy and cold like last year.

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    • Your trilingualism sounds like a perfect solution — as long as you can order food, get directions, find a bathroom, and rent a room for the night, you’re good to go. If you count the fact that I can order beer and ask where the bathrooms are in several other languages, then I’m multilingual!

      Lawyers get a bad rap a lot of the time, and not always without reason. I’ve been lucky to generally have good experiences; although there were a couple… yeah, don’t get me started.

      And never underestimate the fearsome power of little old Canadian ladies. Try to pry that Timmie’s cup out of her hand, and she’ll make a rabid wolverine look cute and non-threatening. 😉

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  10. Love the chase scene!! Gad, that’s funny!! I’d love to see a scene like that but with the cops and bad guys drifting. No escape or capture for having to stop every minute or so to install new tires.

    Bilingual? Used to be, or enough not to embarrass myself too severely. Two years of Spanish in high school and working four years with a crew that was predominantly Spanish speaking. And I could read and write it as well. But that was fifty years ago. Now? No so much.

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    • I never did learn to communicate well in French — despite learning a decent vocabulary and having a solid understanding of grammar and spelling, I never heard it spoken. To this day, I can’t figure out anything I hear in French because my ear can’t separate the words into anything comprehensible. Book learnin’ ain’t worth much in the real world. 😉

      That video always makes me giggle, but you’re right — drifting would be WAY more fun! Hmmm, how can we make this happen…?

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