Gardening and Other Extreme Sports

/ Diane Henders

We’ve finally put the last of the garden to bed. (Well… kinda. The parsnips and carrots are still out there, but they’re fine with some frost so we’re not in a hurry.)  It’s a relief, because this year’s garden felt like an extreme sport — long gruelling hours of hand-watering, weeding, picking, processing, canning and freezing.

I grew an extreme watermelon:

That’s a 40-pound watermelon, in case you’re wondering.  And for the first time in my life somebody said to me, “Nice watermelons!”  (Okay, she actually said ‘watermelon’, which isn’t quite the same; but I took the compliment nonetheless.)

We got extreme beets:

And you already know about our extreme tomatoes, which have almost completed their primary fermentation and are on the verge of being filtered and bottled for cider:

But now that all’s quiet on the garden front, I feel a little flat.  There are still a few outside chores to be done, but the ‘extreme’ part is over for the season.  Dang, what am I going to do for an adrenaline rush?

So I consulted the internet.

Extreme sitting (sporthocking) sounded like something I could nail without too much practice, but after watching the YouTube video, I decided against it.  I want to be able to use those parts of my anatomy for a good long while, and that looks like an ideal way to break one’s butt (among other things).

Extreme ironing seemed a possibility (although not necessarily a good fit; since I use my iron maybe once or twice a year).  But no.  My rock-climbing, sky-diving, and scuba-diving skills just aren’t quite up to par.  The video also mentioned extreme vacuuming; but I’ve never been fond of vacuuming.  (Nor of hurtling down a hill on a household appliance with no steering or brakes.)  So that was out.

Chess boxing could combine my love of kickboxing with the more cerebral pursuit of chess, but I’m not good enough at either of them.  And anyway, Hubby didn’t want to play.

So I guess it’s down to toe wrestling.  It might be a bit hard on the bunions, but at least if Hubby and I have nothing else to do during our long rainy winter, toe wrestling might lead to other, more interesting indoor ‘sports’.

Any other extreme sport suggestions?

*

P.S. I’m travelling until the end of the month so my next post will be November 6, but I’ll be checking in here regularly.  ‘Talk’ to you soon!

Book 15 update:  Chapter 9 is well on its way, and I made good strides with the plot this week.  It’s lucky that Aydan stays fit – she’s going to need it in this book!

 

58 thoughts on “Gardening and Other Extreme Sports”

  1. Pingback: It Tastes Like Sh… ampagne…? | Author Diane Henders

  2. Extreme bread making or just general baking – see if you can beat my record of accidentally making 180 cupcakes.
    However, if I’m doing extreme baking I will bake all day and make at least 5 types of baked goods! A good destress but expensive because butter (oof) and cocoa (oof part two) are expensive – hence I normally wait until I’m back at my parents to do extreme baking lol!
    On sports – not as extreme but I’ve finally got back into trampolining as there is now a club near me, and I am progressing nicely with somersaults, and am hoping to do my next coaching qualification this year too!

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  3. So… The Happy Hoer refuses to be beet. Your tomatoes may be gone, but at least you still have one good melon. I have to admit that I am in complete agreement regarding sporthocking. As the decades pass by, I find that there are things I use less than in my increasingly distant youth. And risking their safety in that fashion holds no appeal. For you, I would simply recommend a return to pole-dancing.

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    • Bahahaha!!! Dang, I haven’t pole-danced since we’ve moved to BC. I did have a few too-friendly moments with T-posts while we were setting up the bird netting for our strawberry patch, but we’ve had to weld up a post-pounder in order to get the posts down into our rocky ‘soil’. so I guess my pole-dancing days are over, but it’s just as well. It would be hard to balance with only one big watermelon…

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    • An excellent plan! I’m looking forward to a 3-hour layover at the airport tomorrow, so some extreme writing would be perfect. Just as long as I don’t have to hang upside-down while I do it… 😉

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  6. Nice melon! For more indoor extreme sports appropriate for winter I was thinking more of something like extreme toe curling. Especially if you don’t have to go to work in the morning. It makes the cold, dark nights pass much more pleasantly.

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  7. Housework feels like an extreme sport as I get older. Even making supper some nights takes everything I got, lol

    I’ve see the extreme ironing before. People are hilarious, aren’t they? I’m so glad YouTube was invented. Most of the time.

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    • Yes, YouTube is my friend (most of the time). It’s truly amazing how much weirdness is out there; but it’s also truly inspiring how many people have decided to share their legitimate skills for free. Any time I need to do a car repair or construction job that I haven’t done before, it’s off to YouTube for a tutorial. (Mind you, I usually cross-check the facts, just in case. There IS a lot of weirdness out there.) 😉

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  9. After a summer of extreme gardening, I’d vote for extreme napping! Gad, what y’all must’ve been through to get all that delicious freshness dealt with!

    And after the napping has run its course, I’d suggest extreme snacking. Just sayin’… 🙂

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  12. Does it need to be an actual extreme sport? Probably any sport you have not attempted in decades or a new sport that you have to learn could seem like an extreme sport when you get older. To me extreme sports mean thrills and adrenaline rushes. It is quite likely that a new sport or activity could give you the same effects. Winter is coming so perhaps ice skating, downhill skiing or tobogganing would work. Have fun with whatever activity you choose.

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  13. The word “extreme” is not part of my vocabulary anymore, as I’ve gotten older. Luckily, I managed to have those skydiving, bungee jumping, and plane flying adventures in my twenties. I would love to go white water rafting again, though. Toe wrestling sounds interesting, especially If it would lead to the other extreme indoor sport you elude to… 🙂

    I like your little book progress and “teaser” notes at the end of your posts. You are such a committed writer!

    Happy travels!

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    • Thank you! I’m halfway to my destination tonight with an early morning tomorrow — that’s about the most “extreme” thing on my list. I’ll leave the skydiving and bungee jumping for adventurous folks like you!

      I enjoy posting the progress notes, too. Since writing is my livelihood, anything that helps keep me on track is a good thing. 🙂

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  14. Aside from other epic “extreme indoor sports” all I can think of here is extreme indoor repainting this autumn and winter. We moved in nine years ago and it’s time to freshen things up. But it’s kind of frustrating since the rooms are smaller and relocating everything out of the larger family room (which also has my work area) is going to take a lot of moving. I have a power roller, so it goes quickly. But it’s usually the prep work that takes longer. I’ve already done my extreme Halloween yard decorating for the year; Thanskgiving decorating will be next, once those little candy stealers have stopped banging on the front door on October 31st…

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    • I’m proud to say I’ve managed not to buy any Halloween candy! I won’t be home, so there was no excuse. But my mouth is watering at the thought of all those sugary little choco-bombs! WANT… CANDY… NOW!

      The thought of interior painting (extreme or otherwise) horrifies me. I loathe house-painting, probably because I’m glacially slow at it. But what is this power roller you speak of? I’ve never heard of such a thing. If it makes the process easier, it might soften my attitude toward painting. Maybe. (But probably not.)

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      • A power roller is like a pump that sucks the paint right out of the can (a lid is fitted with a hose which rests inside the can), and the paint is fed via hose to the roller handle. The roller is perforated so the paint seeps out between the fibers, and there is a trigger on the handle so you can feed in more paint as needed. There is still the work of prepping the room and cutting in at the corners, but not having to dip the roller in a paint tray repeatedly cuts the rolling time down immensely–all you do is roll the paint onto the walls or ceiling. I would guess it takes me 1/2 to 1/3 the time of rolling it manually. I own two Wagners–one is older (30 years old) and needs repair since the plastic tubing inside had hardened up, but the somewhat newer one still works nicely. The home improvement stores carry them. Just checking Home Depot nearby, it’s $84 USD. For the time and bother it saves me, it’s worth the expense.

        One of my rollers came with a paint pad that was supposed to help speed up cutting in, but I found it smeared the paint around too much and didn’t cover well. So I still do it manually with a brush. Doing the trim is always time consuming. Wagner also sells paint sprayers, but those are only usable outdoors. I have an ancient one, but it never worked with latex paint. Perhaps the newer ones might work better if I have to paint the siding on the house and garage again.

        I’m in charge of shopping for the choco-bombs, so I may have to do the safe thing and find some varieties I don’t particularly like. But get me near some Reese’s cups, Three Musketeers or some of the Hershey bars and I’ll relive my zit-covered teen life again! And my better half can’t touch it anymore since she was diagnosed as pre-diabetic. Chocolate is definitely the enemy at Casa Rudy…even though I still crave it occasionally! (Best I can do is “guilt-free” pudding made with skim milk, cocoa powder, corn starch, vanilla extract and Splenda. Not ideal but it works!)

        Happy harvesting, and good travels! 🍻

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        • Thank you! That paint roller sounds wonderful. Next time I have to paint (which hopefully won’t be for a decade or so) I’ll consider buying one. I bought one of those ‘cutting-in’ pads, too, and quickly discarded it. I use a brush now.

          And YUM, Reese’s PB cups are my favorite! It took all I had to walk past when I saw them in the store. I make chocolate skim milk pudding, too; but mine’s not guilt-free. I use real sugar, and while it’s still hot I pour it over vanilla ice cream. Mmmmm…

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  15. It’s not an “extreme sport” in the literal sense but at my age it’s close: Twister. Very good on a rainy, snowy, sunny….Hell any night actually. Always leads to much hilarity and occasionally can lead to those “other, more interesting indoor sports”. 😂. Can even be played while traveling. Happy trails!

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    • Thanks, Michelle! I used to love Twister when I was a kid! I haven’t played it in decades, so with our age-related flexibility loss, it would definitely be hilarious! (For onlookers, anyway.) I’m not sure it would lead to anything more interesting, though — it’s hard to get frisky when you’ve thrown your back out… 😉

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  16. Oh an deffo a nice looking melon, your picture reminded me of the line from dirty dancing “I carried a watermelon” not that you could carry that one very far by the looks but it makes me want watermelon 🍉 right now

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  17. Reading is that an extreme sport? I always try to guess the murder victim and the the murder before the reveal.

    Sometimes I am spot on sometimes I’m so wrong I think I read a different book.

    Enjoy your travels xx

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