I’m A Pro… Crastinator

/ Diane Henders

I just realized I have a superpower!  Ordinarily this would be thrilling news; but sadly, my superpower seems to be procrastination:

I usually write my blog drafts on Mondays, but we were in Calgary last week and our 90-minute flight home on Sunday turned into a 24-hour ordeal due to fog.  By the time we finally got home late Monday afternoon I was too tired to write (although I somehow found the energy to work on our upstairs renovation).  I promised myself I’d write my draft first thing Tuesday morning.

But Tuesday morning I slept in until 7:30 AM, and then a tech showed up at 9:15 to work on our security system; so I couldn’t get started until after he left.

Then I got sidetracked by a few more issues with our upstairs renovation.

At last I settled down to write; but my knuckles were dry and cracked from the work I’d done the night before, so I had to go and rub on some hand lotion.

That’s when I realized that my fingernails had grown ridiculously long.  (Okay, for me ‘ridiculously long’ means ‘a couple of millimetres’; but that’s irrelevant.  They were TOO LONG, and desperately needed to be trimmed.)  That used up some more time.

And while I was standing there clipping my nails, I noticed that the soap dispenser had grotty blobs of soap clinging to it.  So I had to clean it.

Then when I cruised by the kitchen counter on my way to my laptop, I got waylaid by the spiced nuts and caramel popcorn and homemade Bits & Bites left over from Christmas.

Many handfuls minutes later I managed to tear myself away from the caloric free-for-all and plop into my chair… only to discover that it was noon; and therefore time for lunch.  Dang.

After lunch I had to put a roast in the slow cooker so it would be ready for supper.

Finally at one-thirty I made it to my chair and started typing, mainly because my anxiety over the deadline had finally exceeded my urge to delay.

But if it had been a task I truly wanted to avoid, I could have procrastinated much longer.  I have a whole arsenal of excuses excellent reasons:

  • Planning: One shouldn’t dive into action without adequate planning, right?  (If you’re about to remind me of my usual jump-in-with-both feet tendencies… just… shhhh.)
  • Re-planning: Things change (especially if I’ve procrastinated long enough) so I have to plan all over again.  (See also ‘re-re-planning’ and ‘re-re-re-planning’.)
  • Cleaning house: That’s not procrastinating; that’s protecting our health.
  • Reading: I’m topping up my well of creativity.
  • Baking: Homemade treats are much healthier than bought ones.  These cookies might save our lives!
  • Research: To the untrained observer it might look as though I’m scrolling LOLCats, but I’m actually doing in-depth research into current memes.  For my books.  Yeah, that’s it.
  • Social media: That’s ‘advertising and promotion’.

Now that I’ve discovered my superpower, I’m working on my superhero name.  WaitWoman?  DelayDame?  SuperStaller?  One thing’s for sure:  My superhero suit won’t include a fuchsia cape.

But maybe I’d better do some planning and research before I make a final decision.

And I just noticed some dust that needs to be cleaned up.

And I’m out of cookies.

Oh, look!  LOLCats…

What’s your superpower?

31 thoughts on “I’m A Pro… Crastinator”

  1. I’m right there with you! I took a few days off and decided to catch up on my reading. I finished book 12 and then went searching for 13 only to realize it isn’t out yet 🙁

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  4. From one superhero to another, Diane, control over time is an awesome ability, whether that control is demonstrated by saving, wasting or passing the time doing something else. I think your superhero name should be The Awesome Dilly Dallier (although you could still go with the Middle-Aged Six-Pack Woman if you so wished… 😉 )
    I have an action shot of you dilly dallying here:

    If the link works, you will see that you still have the fuchsia cape.
    PS… you never know, you may now guest-star in The Superhero Diaries! Those superheroes are always calling out for help. 😀

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  5. My superpower? Other than amateurcrastination, you mean? I’ll get back to you on that… 🙂

    But one thing it clearly is NOT is SPEED-WRITING! Your progreth barth keep creeping thlowly to the other thide. My own progress is more of a slow ooze, I think. I keep thinking I’m almost through…but I still keep pounding away. Word count is approaching the big number that I hesitate even to consider. The whole thing still amazes me.

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  6. I am just an amcrastinator and bow to your greatness. You aren’t just a victim of circumstance, but an accomplished wizard of words and sand bagger of great importance and truly loved by those of lesser talents.
    Isn’t there some kind of blogging award available for this category?

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  8. You know my blog name . . . what do YOU think my superpower is? 😀 (Hint: It’s not “being a donkey”)

    As a fellow procrastinator, I believe you have done us proud, by word and by action. I’d write more, but there are a few things I have to do first . . . stay tuned . . . eat some more life-saving cookies while you’re waiting . . . feel free to dust, take care of those hangnails, plant the lawn, whatever . . .

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