Too Many Balls

/ Diane Henders

It’s been one of those weeks – our house still isn’t done, and I’ve had to do the exterior trim painting because we can’t find a painter to do it (the market is booming and all the trades are insanely busy).  Between doing part-time construction work while living out of a suitcase and (still) trying to finish Book 12, I have far too many balls in the air.

That causes quite a bit of stress for me, but it also creates ample opportunities for my mouth to run amok while my brain is momentarily occupied with juggling the aforementioned balls.  (And just never mind what my hands are juggling… but at least Hubby’s smiling.)

Moving right along…

A few days ago I discovered that one of the deck railing systems we’re considering has the option to install an ornamental ball as a post cap.

And yes, you know I’m snickering at using “post” and “ball” in the same sentence.  After all, I’ve written a post about balls and a post about posts, so it was practically foreordained that I’d end up putting a post and balls in the same, um… post.

Anyway, the conversation went something like this:

Me:  “We’re going to have to spend an extra $27 on the deck.  I just found some ornamental post caps I like.”

Hubby:  “Oh?  What do they look like?”

Me: “They’re balls.”

*silence*

Me:  “You know, an ornamental ball that sits on top of the post.”

Hubby:  “Okay… How many for the deck?  One on each post?”

Me: “Oh, no, only three; one on each outside corner.  There’s such a thing as too many balls, you know.”

Hubby:  “Yeah, I’d say three might be one too many…”

So there you have it:  Too many balls in the air, and too many balls on our deck.

And I’m nobly restraining myself from making any more deck jokes, but I’ve just gotta say that I think we’re going to like it here.  Hubby’s deck is bigger than it’s ever been!  And with three brand-new balls; well, what’s not to like?

What’s bouncing in your world this week?

 

40 thoughts on “Too Many Balls”

  1. When I get too many balls in the air, I always worry that two of them will end up being my own. At least you don’t have that problem. It will all come together in the end. (Should I rephrase that?)

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  4. Haha well thank goodness you don’t need a ball on every deck post! Things must be coming along very well if we are already at decks and painting outdoor trim! I suppose easy for me to say from my home. Keep juggling and can’t wait to see photos.

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    • It’s funny how progress happens in random fits and starts – it all depends on which contractor has time available to slot in a job. They still haven’t installed some of our exterior doors, but the deck is almost finished. I started painting the outdoor trim a couple of weeks ago (while it was just boards on the ground – much easier than painting it in place). But it has yet to be installed because it goes on at the same time as the siding and the siding is deadly slow. I just keep hanging onto patience as best I can. Maybe I’ll be happier when I can sit on a deck and fondle balls. 😉

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      • What?! This far along on the house and still no way to lock it up? Unheard of these days- or at least in the big bad city. As soon as the walls of my house were enclosed, they installed doors with all the hardware and windows so it could be secured. No way would they put in anything that could be stolen or vandalized before they could lock it against intruders. If they didn’t do that the copper pipes would go as quickly as it was installed. The thieves would ruin walls to steal the pipes- appliances would be gone if backs were turned for a few minutes. The tradesmen had to lock their vehicles all day so their tools and supplies didn’t go missing.

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        • Coming from the ‘big city’, I was shocked, too; although the thieves/vandals in Calgary didn’t go so far as to rip out copper pipes (maybe because almost all the plumbing is PEX plastic tubing).

          But yes, they finally installed our last exterior door yesterday, nearly two months after the house was delivered. The workmen just walk away and leave their tools lying in the yard every night, even expensive stuff like sliding compound mitre saws. It’s convenient for us – if we need to borrow a tool we have plenty to choose from – but they’re clearly not worried about theft out here. It takes a bit of getting-used-to, but it’s nice!

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  6. Okay, it’s probably time to re-think your ETA (ETF?) on the house. Tell yourselves you should be in by Christmas, and re-set your internal expectations to something you should be able to beat by a country mile 🙂 Ahhh … now isn’t that more relaxing?

    (Let me know if it works so I can try it with the flooring project we started two years ago.)

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    • Hmmm, I don’t think the “Christmas” thing is working. That just gives me the overwhelming urge to chew my own wrists open.

      The only way I can get through this is by promising myself, “It’s almost done. Maybe next week!” (And by ignoring the fact that “next week” never actually arrives.)

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  7. You poor thing. I feel your pain. Living in between housing is bad enough, but having to do a lot of the work yourself just multiplies the stress. Here’s hoping all your balls land quickly and efficiently!

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  9. Well, thith, er, potht thertainly hath brought new inthightth to the conthept of, uh, thtick and ball thports. On jutht about every level. Jutht thayin’… 🙂

    And ath before, alath for the miththing wordth. But thoon, thithta. Thooh. Well, perhapth.

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        • Except… it didn’t happen. I got a whole blissful hour before my phone rang and summoned me to yet another series of crises. (I can’t imagine why I don’t seem to be making any progress on the book.) I think everything’s okay again now… kinda sorta. Maybe I’ll squeeze in another hour or two today…?

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          • …and, nope. The truck broke down and I had to go and collect Hubby from the side of the road, etc., etc. It’s a lucky thing I’m an optimist. Tomorrow I’ll get some writing time…

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  10. Man this was brilliant and much needed. I had my first GCSE exam yesterday, followed by a very emotional reading of a 700 page book in one sitting (yes I was up at 4am shhh). Plenty of jokes going round on my part – mainly gay and asexual jokes (as I am asexual and not at all straight) including walking into class and saying “fuck this, fuck that, fuck me, fuck everything. Actually dont fuck me in ace for gods sake what am I doing” and coming out to my entire geography class when my friend very loudly exclaimed “my writings not straight” and so I replied with “neither am I!” Very loudly. As well as this – “my jeans may be straight but I am definitely not”.
    Talking of coming out… You currently know me as Zoë however that has changed to Ash because I am non binary – meaning im not a boy or a girl. I love your blog and it always brightens my week. I’ll let you know if any more rude jokes come up in my life 🙂

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    • LOL! Nothing finer than rude jokes shared among friends! And it’s nice to “meet” you as Ash. What a perfect name! 🙂 Your coming out must be a huge relief – congratulations on making it through what must have been a very difficult time. I wish you much happiness!

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      • Thank you! Unfortunately for me my coming out journey has only just started and I’m yet to tell my parents – I’m going to do that once gcses are out the way. However I am out some of my friends and teachers. Hope all goes ok with the house (ours has been a nightmare so I hope its not nearly as bad)

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