Let The Freak-Out Begin

/ Diane Henders

We did it!  We got the property I mentioned last week, and we’re moving to Vancouver Island!  Woohoo!

…Let the freak-out begin.

Okay, that’s not quite accurate – the freak-out is already well under way.  Apparently I’m an overachiever, because I started the process as soon as we got serious about the property:

  • “OMG, what if we don’t get it?”
  • “OMG, what if we do get it?”
  • “OMG, somebody else is looking at it; what if they offer before us?”
  • “OMG, our offer is in and the seller has counter-offered but they got another offer in the mean time! Will they back out of our deal because they know our only recourse is to sue them?”
  • “OMG, we got it! What if we move out there and hate it?”
  • “OMG, what if our money somehow gets lost between our bank and the lawyer’s trust account?”
  • “OMG, what if there’s some freakish land use regulation we somehow failed to uncover during our (read ‘my’ – Hubby is much more easygoing about these things) obsessive due diligence and it turns out we can’t build?”
  • “OMG, what if we do get the house built and then the creek has a record-breaking flood that even comes over our big setback and grade elevation?”

…And on and on, all of it leading to, “OMG, we’re gonna lose everything and die homeless, penniless, and starving!”

In my saner moments (and let’s not quibble about my definition of sanity), I realize this may be a teeny exaggeration.  But hey, at least if my book sales go flat there’s a promising career for me as one of those wild-eyed doomsayers waving a “World Is Ending” sign on a street corner.

I don’t mean to give the impression that I’m all gloom and tragedy – I’m actually euphoric about moving out of the city and designing my dream kitchen in my dream house.  It’s just that I’ve been cursed with both a logical brain and an overactive imagination.

My logical mind wants to make sure all bases are covered, so it maps out worst-case scenarios and their corresponding safeguards and action plans.  Meanwhile, my crazy imagination seizes those worst-case scenarios and spins them into all sorts of cataclysmic potential outcomes.  It’s a little tiring; but on the upside, I’m rarely shocked by even the most bizarre twists of fate.

Laid-back Hubby just goes with the flow.  While we were running around looking at properties and talking to realtors and planners and builders and bankers and lawyers, I turned to him, totally frazzled, and asked, “Isn’t this stressing you out?”

He just smiled and shrugged.  “Nope.”

Some days I wish I could live inside his head instead of my own.

But now it’s his turn to stress out because he has to clean up and consolidate his packrat-jumble of tools and toys and ‘treasures’; while my stuff is permanently organized and ready to go at a moment’s notice.  So maybe I don’t want to be him after all.

I guess as long as we’re not freaking out simultaneously, it’ll all work out.  But if you ever see a wild-eyed pair waving “The World Is Ending” signs, and if the female half of the couple has long red hair, you might want to detour to the other side of the street.

Just sayin’…

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51 thoughts on “Let The Freak-Out Begin”

  1. You would move to the Island after my daughter in Victoria moved to Saskatoon. I have lots of friends there but having a kid there made sure in the short times I was home that I would in fact go to the Island. If I get there next year, can I buy you a coffee?

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    • Absolutely! It’s funny – we just had lunch yesterday with friends who moved to the Island several years ago. They told us, “The first year your guest room will be constantly full. The second year, not so bad, and by the third year it’ll be back to normal.” We’re preparing for the influx! 🙂

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    • We’ve had a lot of requests for guest quarters! So far they’re in the form of ‘find yourself a tree and set up camp under it’, but once we get some buildings up the amenities will be a little more desirable. And guests bearing beer are always welcome! 🙂

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  3. Congratulations!!! Love those new home “move ins”. Not. When my wife and I moved into our last place and we got all the furniture, boxes of kitchen gear and closet filler into the dry we sat down, looked around and began to recite all the reasons the move was a bad deal for us. To expensive, the neighborhood was way beyond us, too expensive then on and on. That was 26 years, two kids and four grandkids ago. I hope you and your family love and enjoy your new place as much as we love and enjoy ours.

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    • Thank you! Yes, it always seems to take a while (read ‘years’) to regain perspective after a move. When we moved into our current house 18 years ago, we swore we’d never move again until we finally got our dream property. This had better be it, because we might not live long enough for the memory of this upheaval to fade! 😉

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  4. Good luck with the rollercoaster.
    We just did this, an exhausting process. Renovate house (14 months, necessary due to run-down condition after we had lived in it without repairing anything for 20 years, also there was asbestos to be removed).
    Sell house (1 week).
    Race around madly finding a place to rent for 3 months. Move most stuff into storage. Store some stuff at son’s place. Move a little bit of essential stuff into rental place.
    Look for new house. Buy new house (10 weeks).
    Move all 3 lots of stuff into new house. Recycle lots of it as we didn’t really want it after all.
    Spend 6 months fixing up everything because we now live in a different state (driving licence, insurance, electoral roll, and thousands of hidden traps).
    Collapse with exhaustion and spend a year on the sofa. Two and a half years later, begin life again.
    Hope your move goes better than this! But it was definitely worth it.

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    • Uh-oh, and here we are poised at the top of the rollercoaster! Fortunately our house is in good shape so there are just minor touchups to be done before we list it, but I’m already worrying over my jungle of houseplants. I’m trying to lodge them temporarily with friends both here and on the Island, but not many people have room for hibiscus trees or peace lilies that are 5′ across and 3′ tall or Christmas cactuses that occupy an area 7′ tall by 3′ wide by 2′ deep. I called one of the botanical gardens on the Island today hoping their gardener would know of a place where I could store my babies until our house there is ready, but it’s not looking very hopeful.

      Other than that, everything seems to be going smoothly… so far. I’m sure there are lots of curveballs awaiting us, though. I’m glad to hear you got through it and came out the other side still smiling. That gives me hope! 😉

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  5. Congratulations! This is wonderful! How cool about the way modular homes can be built faster and cheaper but still allow for personalizing! Have fun and try not to stress too much 🙂

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    • Thank you! The past couple of weeks have been pretty stressful while we’re in the the purchase-and-organize phase, but I think everything will settle down in a couple of weeks and I can go back to what passes for ‘normal’ (for me, anyway). I still have moments of sheer horrified “What are we doing?!?” but they’re interspersed with moments where I break into gleeful happy-dances, so all in all it seems to be balancing out!

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  6. CONGRATULATIONS!! Yay so excited that your dream has come true even if you have to sacrifice some sanity on the journey. When is the move? I’m very impressed that you are ready to move at a moment’s notice. Wow. I hope we will keep in touch virtually and if you have time before you depart would love to have a farewell coffee. No worry if that doesn’t work as I can imagine it is a flurry of activity ahead.

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    • Thanks, Sue! We won’t know when we’re moving until we get our house sold – we’ll list it in a couple of weeks once we’ve got it all spiffed up and ready to be seen. And I’d definitely love to have a farewell coffee with you! I’ll email you and we can set something up.

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  7. OMG! Have you been in my brain?!?!? We (read I) lasted two weeks house hunting before I completely fell apart. I told the hubby we had to take a break….no more house hunting….too stressful! But now I’m freaking about missing “THE ONE!”
    LOL
    Congrats on the purchase….may it be all you desire…and nothing of the fears!!!!! ❤

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    • Thanks for the good wishes, Julie! And I hope you find “THE ONE” soon, too! Maybe it won’t be so bad when you go at it the second time around – we’ve been shopping in stages since March and the stress levels gradually went down… until we decided to buy, and then all hell broke loose again… 😉

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      • Our record for selling a house is forty-five minutes…from the time we DECIDED to sell it! Small town.

        We talked it over, decided to put an offer on another house if we could sell ours. My wife called a friend at the little town’s chamber of commerce. Minutes later, a guy walked into the friend’s office and inquired about a 3-2-2 house for sale. She gave him our phone number.

        So forty-five minutes after we decided to sell, we had earnest money in hand, and were on the phone making a deal on the other house we wanted.

        The other end of the ‘record’ is something like ten months, if memory serves. All that mess is filed under ‘memories not particularly cherished.’
        Yeah, those ones.

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        • Also, would love to see pictures of your home when finished. Or maybe a regular ‘in process’ update something like those house rehab shows on HGTV. After all, it’s not like you’ll have anything else to do with your time…(Ducking and running!) 🙂

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          • LOL! Nope, nothing else to do. This entire week has been a write-off because I decided it was ‘do-or-die’ time with the vehicle shopping. After driving umpteen crap vehicles priced at $22,000+ and dealing with so many slimy salespeople I needed a shower every ten minutes, I finally gave up and bought a brand-new 2017 Ford Escape off the lot. I keep my vehicles forever anyway, so why buy somebody else’s castoff problems? I’m feeling a little faint from loss of cash tonight, but at least it’s done.

            Hey, you’ll love this: I test-drove one piece of shit, then brought it back to the lot and told the salesman there was something seriously wrong with the steering/front end. “Oh, yes,” says he. “That’s nothing to worry about. You see, the interior light got left on and the battery got drained and it’s not quite recharged yet. That can cause those types of problems.”

            I just stood there with my jaw dangling for the amount of time that it took me to realize that:
            a) he wasn’t joking; and
            b) arguing with a guy that crooked would be a total waste of my time; and
            c) killing him as a favour to the rest of the world would only send me to jail.

            So I batted my big brown eyes at him and cooed, “Oh, well, another dealer had a blue one that was prettier so I think I’ll buy it instead.” And I walked away, leaving him unscathed. I deserve a medal.

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            • Or a spat on the wrist for letting him escape with his life. Could go either way, I guess. 😜

              But then, he might have been correct. A fair number of the new smaller cars use electrically boosted power steering instead of the usual hydraulic system. Low battery could cause sluggish or erratic steering. Oh, and you’ll want to avoid splashing through deep puddles with those cars. There’s a special name for people who do that. Pedestrians. 🙃

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  8. Congratulations on getting the land, you will have to post pics of the plans and stuff.
    I wish you all the luck in the world with everything concerning the build.
    It’s something I have always had fun planning out in my mind. If I won a large amount of money I’d want to design and build my own home

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    • Thanks, Karen! We’re having fun designing the house, but it’s not going to be an architectural marvel. We’ve gone with a modular home (not to be confused with a mobile home). It’s factory-built in sections and then moved onsite, so our options are limited for its exterior appearance but we can plan the interior however we choose. We’re going with a 2-storey Cape Cod style with dormers on the front and back, and I’m just working on my dream kitchen now – woohoo! 🙂

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      • I had no idea you could actually control interiors on modular homes! Where I grew up we had a place that built modular homes about 10 miles from us, so we saw a lot of them going down the road, but I honestly didn’t know much about them other than they were modular homes. That’s great you get some creative control.

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        • I was really surprised, because I didn’t know anything about modular homes either until Hubby’s cousin had one built. We saw hers and went, “What a great idea!”

          Ours has a big floor plate (27′ x 60′) so I have to work around a bearing wall that runs the length of the house, but they can put in a beam that spans up to 20′ so there’s no difficulty creating a nice open plan. I can place walls, windows, cabinets, plumbing fixtures, etc. wherever I want. The homes are built to the latest standards with 6″ studs in the exterior walls and horizontal strapping that conforms to the code requirements for earthquake resistance, and the interior finishing is really nice – studs and drywall just like a built-from-scratch house, and they even use radiused corner bead and include ceiling cove mouldings as standard features. And best of all, the builder says our house can be ready in 10 weeks, and it’s costing about 50% less than a custom build. We’re pumped!

          Mind you, we don’t quite believe the timetable and we’re allowing lots of extra time in case of potential snags with the site prep or other ‘unforeseens’, but at least we’re not looking at moving in two years down the road. 🙂

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          • My experience is that modular homes are built better than conventional houses. They have to be to account for loads and stresses from being hauled over potholes and bumps and rocky ‘driveways’ and pulled through stop-and-go traffic and such.

            That 3-2-2 I mentioned was a ‘ready-built’ home. The WHOLE HOUSE was transported a hundred-fifty miles over rough, twisty country highways to get it from the construction yard where it was built to the foundation where it was installed. They set it in place, then the first owner built on the garage seamlessly. No indication at all that it wasn’t built where it stood.

            That was the most solid and dust-free home we’ve ever lived in except for the one we own now.

            Have no fear. Modular is a fine way to go.

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            • Oh, that’s great to hear! We thought the construction looked quite solid, but it’s nice to hear from someone who’s actually lived in one. Ours is being built on the mainland in BC, then barged over to the Island, then trucked to our location. It’ll be as well-travelled as we are by the time we move in. 😉

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  9. Yep, it’s sorta that way at our house, too. But look at it from Hubby’s point of view. Why does he need to panic and freak and obsess when you’re so very willing to do it for him and so totally capable of doing it all to utter perfection? Durr. 🙂

    Yep, we be chillin’. Y’all? Apparently not so much. Just sayin’…

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  11. Congratulations on the house….my brain works more like yours and my wife’s more like your husband’s….just had to laugh….all of that kind of stuff runs through my mind in per seconds….great post and again congrats!! Beautiful location!!

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    • Thank, Kirt! It’s funny that you share the same wild imaginings – it must be a sign of your creativity. Judging by your beautiful paintings, you’re much more creative than me! I shudder to think what I’d dream up if I had that extra level of imagination…

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      • What is ironic is that I hide it very well…I spent many years in the corporate world and raising three girls, I learned early on to just keep it to myself. All three girls are adults now and just recently I had conversations with two of the three and they mentioned they had this pattern of thinking…I chuckled and confessed it came from me and not their mother…they were surprised…I mask it well:)

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        • LOL! I do, too. People always remark on how calm and organized I am, especially in a crisis. I don’t bother to mention that I’m calm because I’ve already imagined six scenarios far worse than the current one and have plans in place to deal with any of them. Anal-retentive? Moi? Nah… 😉

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    • AAAAAGH!!! Thank you. Thank you very much.

      The problem is, it’s not actually as far-fetched as it might sound. On Vancouver Island, not only are there previously-undiscovered aboriginal burial grounds that are protected the instant you discover them, but also ‘eagle trees’. If an eagle or osprey or heron is nesting in a tree on your property, you aren’t allowed to do any construction, brush cutting, or any form of development within 600 feet of the tree. We’re waiting with bated breath to see what other restrictions we don’t know about…

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  13. OMG I’m howling at your description of stuff, and all I can think of is you and I must be twin daughters of different mothers or something, as our husbands are twin sons of different fathers! I’m the same…what if, what if, what if and it makes Mike NUTS! He’s just Mr. Chill, take it as it comes. The funny thing is, he’s a 25 year kidney transplant recipient, and if you know anything about transplant recips, they have to take immunosuppression. Well, he’s on Prednisone every day…which has a reputation of giving folks some nasty side effects, including among other things, mood swings. Our standing joke is questioning from time to time who’s really on Prednisone, since I have more mood swings than he does…he’s Mr. Steady Eddie!!

    Congratulations, in all seriousness!! How truly exciting for you though. You deserve a lovely dream home, killer kitchen for all your canning and harvesting.

    Just remember to build the guest cabins for us to come and stay…

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    • Thank you for the good wishes! We’ve had lots of requests for a reservation at the cabin-to-be, and it looks as though we’re already booked through 2017. 😉

      That’s so funny that you and your husband go through the same process! I often envy Hubby his ability to not stress over stuff like this, but I guess your husband is living proof that it’s a fundamental personality trait. Maybe in my next life…

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