Un/Lucky?

/ Diane Henders

Last week I got together with four friends for our annual overnight in Banff, the most beautiful tourist trap in the Canadian Rockies. We had a great time as always… but I couldn’t decide whether my luck was good or bad.

I was still fighting this rotten cold, so that was bad luck. But I’m certainly lucky to have friends who like me enough to put up with me even when I’m diseased!

At the Douglas Fir Resort, we checked into our giant 3-bedroom, 5-bed suite. For a while we sat on our balcony with drinks, enjoying the spectacular mountain view. Then, since I was likely to wake everybody by coughing up a lung in the middle of the night, I moved into one of the private queen rooms with an ensuite bathroom.

Lucky, right? Well, yes… until I realized there was no window, only a skylight. Not so lucky if you’re claustrophobic. I’m slightly embarrassed to admit that the first thing I did was clamber up on the vanity to see if the skylight would open.

Nope. Bolted shut.

I comforted myself with the thought that if I was sufficiently motivated (say, by flames licking up the crack of my ass), I could smash the glass with the wrought-iron lamp and hoist myself up and out of the skylight. But luckily I wasn’t forced to test my escape plan.

Next stop was the Grizzly House for fondue. Pricey but delicious, it’s an evening’s entertainment as well as a meal. Unluckily, one of our fondue burners began to belch gouts of flame like a deranged dragon, but luckily one of the heroic waiters swooped in to save us before the flames reached the paper placemats. Those guys have nerves of steel and fingers of asbestos – he reached through the flames, turned the burner off, and whisked it away; all within seconds and without a change of expression. Wow.

The next day we went to the Banff Upper Hot Springs. I made a potty stop in the changing room, and just as I sat down my sunglasses slipped over the back of my head. I felt them hit my back. Then I felt them hit my butt. Then… *clink*

I thought, “Oh, please, tell me they didn’t fall into the toilet!”

Yep, they did.

But luckily I hadn’t used the toilet yet.

So I squeamishly fished the glasses out and scrubbed them with copious amounts of soap. Settling them back on my face still seemed a bit gross, but I got over it. But their run of bad luck wasn’t over yet. After we got back from the pool, they fell again… onto the concrete floor of the changing room.

Smash. Frames go one way, a lens goes the other.

But the lens didn’t scratch or break and I picked it up and pressed it back into the frame, where it has stayed ever since.  So that seemed like good luck.

And speaking of good luck, the food was amazing! Buttermilk pancakes with apple compote, candied walnuts, and vanilla cream for breakfast at the Buffalo Mountain Lodge; cheese fondue, bagna cauda, prawns, lobster, scallops, elk, ostrich, and alligator at the Grizzly House with a fruit-and-chocolate fondue for dessert (yes, I was in pain afterward); and even a BeaverTail (I managed to fit that in between my ice cream cone and my candied apple). Yum!

And driving back to Calgary in the eastbound lane of the TransCanada Highway on Friday afternoon, we considered ourselves supremely lucky to not be part of the bumper-to-bumper westbound traffic.

So in the end I had just enough bad luck to make my good luck seem even better. And that makes me feel lucky indeed!

How was your week?

33 thoughts on “Un/Lucky?”

  2. Still laughing over this post and your “luck or lack of it”. Sunglasses in the toilet is priceless! 🙂 I gave up thinking about luck and why it does or does not choose to hang with me now and then. I figure that I’m still breathing, I’m still upright and fairly mobile, my faculties are working and I think pretty darn fascinating too, so why jinx anything by complaining about luck or lack of it. Right? Huh? I say there…….I AM right, right? Oh swell. I can tell what tomorrow is going to be like. Oookay then. I’m ready.

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    • No jinx, no jinx! I’m officially diverting any potential jinxes elsewhere. If you hear about some calamity on the opposite side of the continent tomorrow, you’ll know what happened.

      And you’re right, some things are better left unanalyzed. 😉

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  3. Doctor: I have good news and bad news
    George Wallace (or David Duke): Give me the good news first.
    Doctor: You are gravely ill and will die shortly
    George Wallace (or David Duke): If that is the good news, what can be the bad news?
    Doctor: It is sickle-cell anaemia.

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      • I’m thinking more than a week here. You probably would have had more serious issues to deal with than the sunglasses thing. I know I certainly would have it it’d happened to me. 🙂

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          • Also true. There are, after all, different types of ‘face plant.’ There is the “Oooh, I’ll bet that hurt!” kind, the, “The name is being withheld pending notification of next of kin” kind, and then there is the, “The services were held last Saturday, and deceased was survived by…” kind. It could go either way, really. Remember. I live in Texas, and down here the, “Yeronner, thuh sumbitch just needed killin'” defense still works. God, I love Texas. 🙂

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              • That’ll never happen. All you gotta do is spread it around that you have friends from Texas and they’ll back off. Unless they’re the sumbitches. Then they’ll say, “Oh, yeah? Who are they. I probly know ’em!”

                And then you tell ’em. And they say, “Aw, hell yeah! I’ve knowed that sumbitch fer years!”

                It’s always something. 🙂

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  5. I must admit, Diane, that I was thinking along the same lines as Carrie at first, and then I thought that you’d decided to leave the beaver jokes up to us…! Sounds like you’ve had the right balance, luck-wise… which meant you (and your glasses!) had a good break!

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  6. Hi Diane,
    Since you asked about my week I’ll fill you in. Monday morning opened my schools website and looked at my grades. My professor gave me a ZERO for a thesis that I turned in. YES a ZERO, So I immediately think what the hell! He told me he didn’t understand what the heck I was trying to say…hum I thought, so I went back and reread my thesis. Guess what? The Professor was right! Darn I hate it when that happens. Tuesday dawned bright and early so I thought I’d get some vacuuming in before it got hot. Started up the ole machine to a clackerring noise that was just to loud to be good for anyone’s ears. Great I thought, vacuum issues not needed today….so took the machine to Starks Vacuum and they fixed it for $15.00! I LOVE THOSE GUYS!! By the time Saturday rolled around I thought I was in the clear, except for my Personal Essay that was due Sunday night. I tried to write it, but what kept coming out wasn’t what I wanted to say. But no matter what I tried nothing worked, so I gave in and wrote about my son’s suicide. Just writing that here is difficult. Anyway, I had a friend edit it and she gave me some good suggestions and corrected the punctuation. I don’t know what grade I’ll get, as if you can grade something like that, but I wrote what I had to write even when I didn’t want to. I’m sure, Diane, you understand all to well.
    I’m sorry you still have a cold. Eat oranges, lots of them. Hope you’re feeling better soon!
    Best
    Cait

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    • Hi Cait – Sounds like your luck veered a little more to the “bad” side this week – that’s no fun. And I’m so sorry for your loss. I can’t even imagine what you went through, and are undoubtedly still going through every day. My heart hurts for you.

      But thanks for the advice and good wishes – it’s hot outside so a cool juicy orange sounds like heaven! 🙂

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  7. I am happy you had a great time with your friends! I have spent the week rereading the series, because I miss the characters! Any chance of the next book any time soon?

    Best,
    Teresa

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  8. What? No joke about Beaver Tail? Come now, Diane, don’t restrain yourself on our account. 😉

    I have not been to Banff since I was a young girl. I really want to make a trip to Canada sometime, but I can’t seem to decide where to go. First I think Toronto, then Montreal, then Vancouver, and now I’m thinking Banff. I don’t remember much about it, but I remember its beauty even as a child. I remember a huge field of flowers somewhere. But I don’t remember Beaver Tail…

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  9. STILL got that cold? Bummer! But glad you had a good time with your friends. Laughter IS the best medicine.

    My week was fabulous, thanks!

    Ant almotht eighty per thent ith theriouth thwellneth, thithter!

    (I love messing with the smell checquer!)

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