And That Was My Week

/ Diane Henders

The week after I finish a book is always interesting.  During the final stages, I’m so immersed in writing that everything else just… goes away.  Including my brain.  And it hasn’t come back yet.

I tried to come up with a coherent blog post and instead spent an hour staring into space and mumbling non sequiturs.  So I’m just gonna go with that.

Here’s what my week was like, in no particular order:

Ironic:  This week I kickboxed, lifted weights, planted a few thousand square feet of garden, shifted a ton of garden soil, mowed the lawn, did some minor home renovations, and generally abused every muscle in my body.  I was fine.  Then I hurt my back… bellydancing.

Efficient:  I finally discovered the secret to efficiency:  a to-do list.  In the morning I wrote a list of all the things I wanted to get done during the day.  Then at the end of the day, I wrote “Tomorrow” after the “To-Do” title.  Voila!  Efficiency.  Now I don’t have to make another to-do list.

Fashionable:  In my closet, I have a skirt… hey, don’t laugh!  I really do own a skirt.  It’s a broomstick skirt, which, for the uninitiated, is a skirt that looks as though you’ve rolled it up in a ball and slept on it for a couple of months before wearing it.  It suits my attitude toward dress-up clothing just fine.  I unearthed it a while ago, shook it out, and then hung it tenderly back in my closet.  You never know when I might need an easy-to-care-for skirt.

Oblivious:  I showed the above skirt to a friend about a month ago, and she said, “Oh, what a great skirt!  I remember when those were in style!”  Then the conversation moved to other topics.  Just yesterday it filtered through my thick skull that my beloved skirt had been insulted…

Illogical:  About six weeks ago I hurt my arm kickboxing.  So I ignored it, because everything gets better sooner or later, right?  But it kept hurting, and a couple of weeks ago I threw a punch and ouch!  So I went in at the beginning of the week and got a diagnosis.  Apparently I have tennis elbow.  From kickboxing.  Makes perfect sense.  (Fortunately muay thai allows strikes from fists, feet, elbows, and knees, so I can still train.  Otherwise this heading would be “Illogical and Cranky”.)

Absent-Minded:  I went for a walk, and half a mile down the sidewalk my brain suddenly shrieked:  “Wait!  Did I forget my pants?!?”  The relief was indescribable when I looked down to discover that I was actually dressed.  The subsequent question, “Are they done up?” was anti-climactic by comparison.  Unfortunately, accidentally going sans pants isn’t an inconceivable scenario for me.  I’m not in the habit of wandering around half-naked, but when I’m this distracted there’s always a possibility that I might begin to change clothes and just forget to finish the job.

Gluttonous:  Because the universe has a cruel sense of humour, it was my week to be Designated Driver.  So I haven’t even had a beer to celebrate finishing Book 8, but I compensated by eating a candy apple and a triple-chocolate ice cream cone that was as big as my head.  And I have plans for beer this weekend, so all is well in my world.

And that was my week.  How was yours?

32 thoughts on “And That Was My Week”

  3. Ha! Forgetting your pants, I can can totally relate. Although in my case I can’t blame it on being totally immersed in finishing my book. I thinks it’s probably old age setting in … or maybe not being the designated driver often enough. 😉

    Congratulations on finishing up #8 that’s amazing! I can’t even seem to finish my first. I get on a roll and really make some great progress and then …. “squirl!” Something else sounds like a better idea. Sometimes it’s a change in the story, but all too often it’s just an “I really need to clean the fridge out, or wash the truck, or weed the campsite (yes, really, I did that yesterday) moment. Somewhere along the way I think I lost all of my self-discipline and ability to focus … wait, where was I?

    Oh yeah …

    So, long story long, I am truly in awe of your ability to crank out the amount of awesome novels you do while still maintaining your busy lifestyle. Rock on sista! 😉

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    • Aw, thanks! That really makes my day!

      Hang in there with your novel – some writers are super-disciplined and they write “x” number of words per day no matter what. I don’t have a clue how they do it – some days I write 10,000 words; other days, I do nothing but picky word-by-word editing of what I’ve done; most days are a pile of editing and maybe 1,000 new words. And sometimes I don’t look at it for a week or more. For me, the “squirrel” moments in writing are the best: it’s just as much fun as reading because I never really know what’s going to happen in my story!

      You’ll get there – just keep going back to it whenever the mood strikes. Before you know it, you’ll be writing “The End”.

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  4. Your week was so much better than mine, although I’m a little disappointed that you didn’t go outside sans pants because that would have made a totally awesome story. By the way, I’m stealing your to-do list update methodology — writing and re-writing lists is such a pain in the ass.

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    • Feel free to steal the list idea – I’ve got more than enough “efficiency” to go around! And you’re right, actually being pantless would be a hell of a story, but I’m thinking it’s one I’d rather read than write. 😉

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  5. I go barefooted around the house, always liked the feel of the hardwood or tile under my feet. Washing dishes on Monday (my dishwasher is still dead and soon to be buried) and was liking the feel of the nice cool tile under my feet. I moved just a bit and sort of felt a slight splash. There was water running out from under my sink cabinet. When I looked, the drain pipe was sitting half undone. I refused to pay a plumber to come out just to reattach 2 pipes well within reach so I told myself I could do it, no problem. 20 years ago it would not have been a problem. Bad knees, back, hands and legs have changed all that. Oh, I finally got down on the floor and under the sink, I even got the pipes connected back and properly clamped. I just couldn’t get back up. It took a while. It’s a serious Biotch getting older. I hate having to admit I can’t, or shouldn’t, do things for myself. On second thought, I’m just not going to admit it. What the heck. I did get back up and so it took me a while. What’s to complain about then? LOL
    I never forget my pants tho when I go out. Shoes I’ve forgotten, but not my pants.

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    • Good on you for fixing it, even if it did take a while to get up again! You got it done; that’s the main thing. And anyway, whose stupid idea was it for our bodies to start giving out on us when we get older? I don’t remember agreeing to that. We should complain to the management. 😉

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  7. Many, many congratulations on finishing book 8. I’m wandering around here in blog land when I should be working on my book 2 – the one I think about constantly, and raced home to work on.
    I haven’t quite forgotten a vital piece of clothing before, but on several occasions have played, “What am I wearing?” in which you must stare straight ahead and not look down until you remember what the heck it was you put on that morning.

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    • Oh, that’s good one! I think it might be hard on my self-esteem, though. I doubt if I’d ever remember what I was wearing – in fact, you made me look just now to see what colour T-shirt I had on… 😉

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  8. Years ago before I got a power screw driver, I built three food dryers each with several drying screens. Everything was glued and screwed by hand and my elbow hurt like the devil. I went to our Dr and said “Doc, I have screwer’s elbow”. He said. “We prefer to call it tennis elbow” Who knew?

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  9. Years ago I went on a business trip with a two-hour layover at a hub airport. Thought I’d get my shoes shined by a professional before I arrived at my destination. Sat in the chair talking to the shine guy, and he very quietly says, “Uh, sir, take a look at your shoes.” I did. And noticed that each was from a different pair. Yep, I wore mismatched shoes for almost a week, in a crowd, and as far as I know the shine guy and I were the only ones who knew.

    And I’ve noticed I was still wearing my house shoes on my way to work. Twice.

    I could go on and on. Trust me. It ain’t just you. 🙂

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  10. Great giggles here. Love the delayed response to the skirt insult. I remember the time I was halfway down the block when I realized that I was still wearing my slippers. They were comfy. That’s my excuse. But the no pants thing? That’s stuff of performance anxiety nightmares only. Give me time… I’m in my head and distracted more and more these days.

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    • At least you can pass off the slippers as a fashion statement. I think the only person who could pull off “pantsless” as a “look” would be Lady Gaga… and she and I don’t exactly travel in the same circles.

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  11. Diane you are hysterical. So funny. I love the panic of wondering if you have your pants on. I usually have my pants but tend to forget most everything from my keys to my wallet. I need a list to get out the door apparently. Bummer about the tennis elbow.

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  12. Sorry to hear about the tennis elbow. 😦 I went through a bout of elbow tendinitis, and it took a long time to heal. But the good news is, I found out I couldn’t vacuum. If I did, it triggered the pain (it was my right elbow). Though it’s been years since the injury, I haven’t vacuumed since. That’s what teenage boys are for…

    Funny post as always, Diane!

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    • No vacuuming – talk about a silver lining! I’ll have to see how I can use this injury in creative ways. But I’m really hoping it’ll be short-lived. My physio said he thought it would resolve “fairly quickly”, whatever that means. Meanwhile, grrr. I hate being forced to slow down so I usually don’t, which is undoubtedly dumb. But that garden isn’t going to hoe itself…

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