Fortunately, my husband is extremely tolerant and secure. I had just gotten back from an appointment with my young male massage therapist when I announced, “I like young guys!”
Hubby grinned, said, “Yeah, and…?”, and waited for the explanation I hastened to supply.
I mean, I do like young guys; what’s not to like? But I didn’t exactly mean it the way it came out. What I meant was, as an old(er) woman with a brain that refuses to accept that I’m not twenty anymore, it’s really nice to work with my young male martial arts trainer, my young male massage therapist, and (when necessary) my young male physiotherapist.
Because they don’t give me any bullshit about how I shouldn’t be kickboxing, or I shouldn’t be shooting, or I should back off on my weights, or whatever.
My middle-aged GP was horrified when I told her I was kickboxing. She issued me a prescription for a topical anti-inflammatory along with a severe admonition to quit. While she was at it, she suggested I go a little easier on my weightlifting, too.
The surgeon who fixed the torn ligaments in my wrist a few years ago eyed me cynically and told me if I was going to kickbox, he’d see me in his office begging him to fuse my wrist in another few years.
I know they’re probably right; I just don’t want to hear it.
What the hell, I could get hit by a bus next week. Then I’d be lying there dying in the road, all pissed off because I didn’t need those joints after all and I could’ve been kickboxing all along.
So instead of going to the doctor this time, I went to my massage therapist. He listened to my description of my various aches and pains and said, “But do you like kickboxing?” And when I said ‘Oh hell yeah’, he said, “Okay, you’re getting pain because your muscles are imbalanced here, here, and here. Here’s how to fix that…”
He gave me exercises, stretches, a massage that made me writhe in agony but feel better afterward, and most importantly, encouragement.
My martial arts trainer does the same. “Okay, you can’t bend your wrists. That’s all right, you can do this on your knuckles. Okay, you can’t kick today, so instead you’re going to learn two ways to break a guy’s arm and three ways to choke him. And here are a couple of submission holds.”
I love these guys!
No, they aren’t irresponsible. They’re professionals. They make sure I understand the potential consequences of my actions… and when they realize I’m going for it, they cheer me on and find ways to make it happen. They totally understand the ‘Go hard or go home’ mentality.
In a few years, I might look back on this and say “What the hell was I thinking? I’m in constant pain now because I was a moron who didn’t have the brains to quit while she was ahead.”
But maybe not. Maybe I’ll just grin.
Anybody else doing things you’ll regret later?
Author Diane Henders 
I might regret not doing enough exercises now, later… But in general, I aim to live a life without regrets and so far that’s working just fine. 🙂
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Perfect! I’ve heard it said that you’re more likely to regret the things you didn’t do rather than the things you did, and so far I haven’t regretted kickboxing one bit! 🙂
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Regrets are a waste of time and energy. When younger- much younger – I went tire tubing and ended up with a total facial smash and broken neck and that was considered a safe thing to do. Now, I just do what I want – at 72, what is there to lose? I like young men too and agree with you that I can’t accept that I am not in my thirties either. I remember my grandmother telling me that and thinking she was nuts. But it must run in the family. My man is 8 years younger and sometimes feels older than I do.
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I have bad wrists too. All because of sport, genetics and jam. Sounds like a great title for a book, but anyway… it’s mostly my fault, so in the last year I have sprained my right wrist 4 times and my left twice. And I still haven’t learnt. If I write too much I get pains… oops.
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Oh, ouch! I’ve never actually sprained a wrist – it sounds painful, especially when you do it that often! My torn ligaments were because I’d spent 10 hours straight installing and grouting granite floor tiles. Not quite as much fun as sports, but at least I had something to show for the pain. 😉
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If you enjoy it do it. On your death bed it is all the stuff you didn’t do you will regret. If you have a death bed. Likely with your lifestyle it will be with a bang not whimper. I’m glad your massage therapist gives you a good feeling all over.
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LOL! Well, not all over. That might strain Hubby’s tolerance a bit too much. And I’m hoping I go out with a bang, or at least quickly. And I hope my only regret is, “Dang, I should have had two desserts last night.”
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I appreciated that you and your husband have the kind of rapport that allows you to feel safe simply saying something like “I like young guys” — that’s the kind of relationship I like to cultivate with the people in my life, and it’s why I’m part of all of these groups of people that consciously practice honesty.
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I’m lucky to have him! 🙂
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I never thought about that, about how the young’uns aren’t buzzkills like people our age, worrying about the injuries and blood pressure and diet and whatever. They’re still invincible and indestructible at that age, so they don’t hesitate to be encouraging, even if it isn’t well-advised. “You want to go bungee jumping and sky diving? Go for it! Your herniated discs will be fine!” Bless them.
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Yep, enthusiasm is great, but I generally apply a dose of moderation. At this stage, I have a pretty good idea of what my body will tolerate. Still, though, I’d rather place my own limits on myself than have somebody hanging over me croaking predictions of doom. 🙂
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What if?
What if the male massage therapist and the male physiotherapist were middle-aged and the GP was male and young? Would it change your outlook?
Personally, do what you like and consume alcohol sounds good to me.
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It wouldn’t change my outlook, but it might change theirs! 🙂 I suspect a young male GP would have an entirely different outlook on kickboxing.
I prefer to collect people who aren’t limited by traditional stereotypes about aging. One of my good friends decided to set a goal: by the age of 60, she wanted to be able to do the splits. She managed it at 58, and at 66 she teaches power yoga classes with amazing feats of strength and flexibility. It’s people like that who change my outlook.
And beer is never a bad thing. 🙂
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Diane, I love this line: when they realize I’m going for it, they cheer me on and find ways to make it happen. I could do with knowing a few more people like that!
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Couldn’t we all? I’m lucky to have them. 🙂 That attitude fits in well with your “like to feel good” philosophy, doesn’t it?
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It certainly does!
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Big decks, nudity and young men…I’m noticing a trend here. Has someone been reading that 30 Shades shit? Just wondering in Bama. HF
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LOL! Nope, 50 Shades didn’t make it onto my to-read list – BDSM just isn’t my flavour. My choice of topics was purely coincidental. That’s my story, and I’m stickin’ to it. 🙂
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Coincidental, maybe. Purely, no way! HF
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Dang. Busted.
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Ermmm…would not exercising count? I’m more the let’s gently lose the weight person 😉
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LOL! That should work fine. I think exercising doesn’t actually save you any pain in the long run; it just amortizes it into smaller doses over a longer period of time. 🙂
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Wait a minute. You’re all about getting naked and you like young guys – all in one day? Are you trying to tell us something? Hmmmmm.
As for doing things I regret later? That gets a Hmmmmm, too 🙂
Cheers!
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Hmmmm, indeed. Is my Freudian slip showing?
Oh, and you’re going to make me guess about your secret vices, are you? Hmmmm again. I can think of a number of suitable vices, but none that you’d be likely to regret later. Unless you got caught…
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I love your attitude! What do I do now that I’ll regret later? Nothing. I think I need to work on that…
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LOL! Yes, there is a certain spice to thinking, “I’m gonna regret this later… or maybe not.”
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What planet is your doctor from? If I go whining to my doc about arthritis I am told to keep walking and exercising. So keep doing what you love. Scotch and wine, not together do wonders for forgetting those old injuries when they act up. As for younger men I have one of those. I am making sure he stays healthy so he can push a wheelchair later. LOL.
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I think maybe it was “punching things” part of it that she was trying to discourage. In my heart of hearts, I know it’s dumb to punch things and then complain about sore thumbs. But some little part of me wants to believe she’ll say, “Oh, there’s a new pill that fixes all those little problems like worn-out joints.” Hey, I can dream.
Ah, you’re thinking ahead! Good idea for the wheelchair pushing, but unless I hire an attendant, the “younger man” strategy isn’t going to work for me. Poor planning on my part… 🙂
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I think you should do what you like. I’m very deep like that.
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LOL! Hey, I’ll take any encouragement that’s offered. It doesn’t have to be deep. 🙂
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Good, I can do that.
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Man, did WordPress eat my comment? Screw it. Basically, I said “Go for it and enjoy!”
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I don’t know why, but WordPress has lately decided to flag your comments as spam every now and then. (What illicit activities have you been up to, anyway?) 🙂
I got on the forums and asked if there was a way to “whitelist” someone so their comments always came through. They said there isn’t, but that if I keep digging you out of the spam folder and approving your comments, WordPress should “learn”.
Uh-huh.
Anyway, that’s what I’ve been doing. And now I’m totally bamboozled, because your first comment went to spam but your second one came through… *rips out hair*
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Maybe I took a quick shower in between comments to wash off the smell of spam? Not. Geez, I go crazy trying to figure out these things.
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You know what? We’re none of us getting out of this world alive, so you might as well do what makes you happy* while you’re here, and damn the consequences.
If you find you’re regretting anything a few years down the road, I highly recommend the analgesic properties of alcoholic beverages. 😉
*Within the bounds of reason and legality, naturally.
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I love the way you think! Even if I’m totally incapacitated, I’ll probably still be able to suck my beer through a straw. 🙂
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I say go for it!
One of the worst things we can do is look back and say “I wish that I had…” I was lamenting to a new financial adviser that we probably shouldn’t have blown as much money as we did in our younger days on travel and he asked me “Do you regret taking the trips?” Interesting question. No I loved them all. Ok some more than others but did I regret taking them, hell no!
As you point out you could get hit by a bus next week and I don’t think that is a fatalistic attitude.
Enjoy the kickboxing and keep in touch with those young guys. 🙂
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Thanks! You’re right; I don’t have many regrets, but the few I have are over things I didn’t do. Though that may change if I get to the point where I can’t bend my wrists anymore…
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When I told my wife I’d enjoy a massage from a 21-year-old woman (though I might have said 19 and I might also have said two 19-year-old women), she didn’t take it nearly as well as your husband did in the story above. Where’s the justice?!
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LOL! It’s all in the delivery… and in what you might have said. 😉
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Hmm. I need to work on my sales skills. “Sell the benefits,” as they say.
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Spin, spin…
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Well, unless you’re getting injured from the activity, I’m not sure why your physician would tell you to avoid kickboxing or weight lifting. Considering the muscle mass we women lose as we get older, weight lifting is a critical component of fitness. And for those who can’t tolerate high impact moves, low impact kickboxing can be a great form of exercise. Perhaps they’re just jealous. 😉
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That’s gotta be it! I’ll just keep telling myself that. 🙂
Actually, I have arthritis in both my thumbs and damaged cartilage in both my wrists, along with what I suspect is another torn ligament (feels the same as the last time I did it, anyway). I think she was just trying to preserve my mobility as long as possible. Which I appreciate, I really do… but I’m just not quite ready to give in to it yet.
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Well, maybe you’ll have to focus more on the kicking and less on the boxing. 🙂
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