A Redhead Walks Into A Tranny Shop…

/ Diane Henders

I hope that’s not the start of a joke.

Do you ever begin your day knowing exactly which tasks you’re going to do, but refusing to plan your day in a logical order?

If you do, please tell me how that works.  Do you write the name of each task on a slip of paper and shake them up in a jar to make sure your selection of the next task is completely random?  Do you choose the order based on the colour of the slip of paper?

“Oooo, that’s a pretty pink.  I think I’ll do the pink one next…”

No, really, I want to know.  Because I can’t figure out how this transmission-repair place does it.

I called a week in advance to make an appointment, and I only want a diagnostic.  It’s not like I’ve arrived out of the blue with a dead tranny.  But the best they can do is, “Drop it off between 8 and 9 in the morning, and it’ll be done sometime later today.  Probably this afternoon.”

I bet these guys wouldn’t put up with that from their doctor.  I bet they expect an appointment time, and I bet they get irate if the doctor makes them wait.  I’d love to see their faces if they showed up for their appointment and the receptionist told them, “Just take a seat.  The doctor will see you sometime today.  Maybe earlier, maybe later, so be ready to spend the day just in case.  Do you feel lucky?  Well, do ya, punk?”

Since inefficiency and illogic drive me crazy, this system is threatening to make my brain explode.  I have no control over the outcome, so I’ve decided to see if I can influence the process.

I plan to sit in their waiting room, about six feet in front of the guy behind the desk.  He’s already tried to get me to leave a couple of times – even offered me a ride down to the mall.  But I politely declined, and now I’m sitting here working on my laptop.  I made it clear I plan to wait for as long as it takes.  Right here.  Watching him.

I’m hoping he’ll get tired of the sight of me and bump my car up the random order just to get rid of me.  But that’s probably too optimistic.

Instead, I’ll likely spend the day sitting here sending psychic “hurry up” messages that bounce off the impervious skulls of everyone in the place, and the only things I’ll accomplish will be some productive work and a really sore ass.  These waiting-room chairs are butt-breakers.

But I have hope.

Their bathroom is clean.  Spotless, in fact.  That’s gotta be a good sign.  And the smell of automotive fluids and the sound of air tools always soothes my soul, so I’m in a happy place (except for the chair).

Positive mental attitude.  Maybe it’ll work.

I’ve only been here for half an hour.

My ass hurts.

***

Epilogue

It worked!  They brought my car in first, and I was out of there by 10:30.  And they cleaned the bathroom and mopped the floor of the waiting room again in the short time I was there.  There’s probably a lesson in that somewhere.

Anybody else find a correlation between bathroom cleanliness and service quality?

34 thoughts on “A Redhead Walks Into A Tranny Shop…”

  2. Wohoo! Go psychic messages! Hey you got a blog post up which is always awesome…ooo and I usually go about having this vague idea of what I need to do…feel lazy doing them or find something else to do…hmm..I’m glad I commented after you got your car back!

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  3. Diane, you come up with some of the funniest headings I’ve ever seen. A redhead in a transmission shop? ROFL!! My first reaction was, what would be different if it was a blonde in a transmission shop instead?…lol
    I think you should have taken some pictures of the bathroom, because its almost impossible to picture a clean bathroom in an auto repair shop.
    Oh and I got an idea to prevent ass soreness for your next visit to the shop…they make silicone gel padded spandex!…lol. I don’t think we will ever see an end to the spandex conversation…lol

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      • Those gel padded spandex keeps me nice and comfy on my rock hard carbon fiber saddle for about 8hours. I’m certain it will do wonders while you are waiting for your car service 🙂
        its the next best thing to sugically attaching a silicone lump on those bunz.

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        • Hmm, not a good mental image. Lumpy silicone buns. Eeuw. 🙂

          That gel padding sounds like heaven, though. I’m no bicyclist, but I once decided it was a good idea to ride 37 miles just for fun one day. It was fun, but I didn’t have any great desire to sit down for several days afterward…

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    • Eeuw. Yeah, I hear you. I’ve been in a couple of places like that. I hate it when you have to leave a restaurant bathroom with your eyes squinched closed, repeating the mantra “Don’t think about it… just don’t think about it…”

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  5. I was getting an alignment on the van after i replaced the tranny and i sat there for 7 hrs ><. But i brought a good book. And the 3 followup visits because they made it worse actually went REALLY fast!!!

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    • I can see I’ll have to upgrade my choice of auto establishments. There was no opportunity for swanky test drives at the transmission place. Those dealers really know how to tempt a person, don’t they?

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  8. I could see you in my mind’s eye just then, Diane, typing away, looking up at the guy at the desk glaring at you, and then suddenly smiling, you smile back and get back to your typing! And I could read the guy’s thoughts: “She’s typing about me, she is. I’ll get her sorted next!”.

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    • Ah, you’re right, it must have been his guilty conscience kicking in. Little did he know he was correct in his paranoia…

      “Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you.”

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    • Sorry for the bait and switch, but now I want to know… what were you expecting? Maybe I can deliver the goods later with another misleading title. 🙂

      And I don’t think you have to worry about your messy bathroom unless you’re planning to open an auto repair shop.

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  10. I read the title and for a second thought you were talking about me. Whew!

    And about this “logical order” . . what’s “logical order”? Seriously, I’m not familiar with that term. This could explain a lot of things . .

    A clean desk / room / house is a sign of a sick mind.” (Don’t know who wrote that.) But how about, “A clean car service bathroom is a sign of an OCD car service mind.” I tried, anyway.

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  11. Huzzah for the death glare! I’m actually surprised it worked – making eye contact with the front desk guy would not usually induce him to help a woman in the waiting room leave faster, at least not without getting her phone number. Maybe he decided you were channelling your inner Aydan Kelly, realized things were going to get bloody very fast, and moved you to the front of the line!

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  13. Yes, there’s a definite correlation. Hopefully, you made them so uncomfortable that they’ll be sure to do the job right, so they don’t risk you coming back to glare at them again. Good strategy : )

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