“OMG! I am in Paris and I started to read book 1 last night before bed. Went to sleep but woke up at 3am to read more. I’m hooked. Fabulous writing.”
Spicy suspense served hard-boiled
If you’re seeking intellectually stimulating literary fiction, you might as well keep looking. But if you’re craving the literary equivalent of beer and pizza with chocolate for dessert (or for the entire meal)… welcome!
I got tired of reading stories about middle-aged female characters who sweetly reminisce about their younger years while the twenty-somethings have all the fun. I’m not going to stop having adventures just because I’m over… okay, well over forty.
I’m old(er), not dead.
That’s why I created a kickass, foul-mouthed middle-aged bookkeeper who gets sucked into a spy’s life. If you like fast-paced action with some laughs along the way, my books are for you. I hope you enjoy them.
P.S. Want to be notified when I release a new book? Click here to join my list.
The NEVER SAY SPY series in order:
Kindle #1 Bestseller
24 straight months on the Kindle Top 100 Free!
Despite her penchant for weapons and ripe language, Aydan Kelly’s resumé reads ‘bookkeeper’, not ‘badass’. She’s leaving the city to fulfill her dream of rural tranquillity when she gets carjacked by a man who shouldn’t exist.
When RCMP officer John Kane kills her would-be abductor, Aydan thinks her troubles are over. But Kane’s investigation implicates her in an international espionage plot, and criminal charges become the least of her worries when she’s targeted by the very spies Kane suspects her of aiding.
Pity her enemies. Because nobody’s tougher than a middle-aged woman who wants her dream back.
From NEVER SAY SPY:
Sliding into bed, I touched the handle of the crowbar under the other pillow for reassurance. I live alone. If somebody breaks into my house in the middle of the night, what am I going to do? Hit them with a pillow? I don’t think so.
“Clever premise, funny and smart, takes you on a wild ride, and keeps you guessing.”
“Gotta love ‘em, quirky yet realistic characters combine with a fast-paced James Bond style plot for a whole new experience in action stories. Can’t wait to read the next one!”
“The characters are funny, principled, sexy and flawed…everything that I want in a good story.”
When a clandestine government agency recruits middle-aged bookkeeper Aydan Kelly, she overcomes her fear and agrees to go undercover at a lavish gala affair. But the glamour of the mission fades fast when she finds herself astride a motorcycle, assigned to an all-male surveillance team.
Aydan discovers spies are using classified technology to torture information from their captives. Worse, they know she’s breached their security. Now she has to prevent them from revealing her true identity, while avoiding capture by the vicious criminals who won’t hesitate to torture her, too.
From THE SPY IS CAST:
I had a sudden mental image of letting fly with a rip-roaring fart halfway through the elegant meal, and snickered. “You behave,” I said severely to my reflection, struggling to quell its wicked grin.
“Just the right amount of violence, sex and good old spy adventure to keep you entertained for hours on end.”
“This book is hard to label. Mix in a little scifi, with two parts spy, and one part sex, shaken, not stirred. Chug it down and enjoy.”
Middle-aged bookkeeper Aydan Kelly never wanted to moonlight as a spy, but she doesn’t have a choice. Working with computer networks in a secured building sounds safe, but it turns out the job’s a killer – literally.
When Aydan’s trusted co-worker is shot while committing an apparently treasonous act, Aydan embarks on a secret mission to clear his name. But her investigation casts suspicion on the director of operations himself. If he’s a double agent, Aydan’s in more danger than she ever imagined… and national security hangs in the balance.
From REACH FOR THE SPY:
Jesus, my yard was starting to feel like a Village People reunion. So far I had the cop, the biker, and the cowboy. My overstressed brain temporarily disengaged as I glanced toward the road, half-expecting to see a musclebound construction worker approaching.
“This series just gets better and better! I can’t stop reading! More action, turns and twists, great character development, and one hell of a fun read.”
“OMG – fun fun fun and sexy too.”
“I just can’t keep away. For Kelly, I’d even leave Bond behind. In the dust!”
Aydan Kelly has reluctantly accepted her unwanted role as a part-time spy. It’s painful and dangerous, but she’s willing to make the sacrifice for the good of her country. Too bad her country doesn’t have the same honourable intentions.
When Aydan discovers the government murdered her husband, the betrayal drives her on a quest to uncover the truth. Living as a fugitive, alienated from the people she once trusted, she has to evade both government agents and the violent criminals who will sell her to the highest bidder.
From TELL ME NO SPIES:
My ass hurt like a bitch, it had taken me all goddamn night to get ten miles out of town, and I was starving, exhausted, and scared shitless. And I had a Glock and a Bible. Hell, what could possibly go wrong?
“This is the fourth book in a series that just keeps getting better. Aydan Kelly and Hellhound are hands down two of my favorite people in the whole world…”
“YAHOO …A series mature women might seriously enjoy as a temporary “escape” from the challenges of their daily grind.”
“I haven’t been this hooked on a series like this since Karin Slaughter.”
In her work with a clandestine government agency, Aydan Kelly stumbles across a shadowy consortium of scientists whose members are selling classified information for personal profit.
Aydan wants to report them, but there’s a small complication: her supposedly dead husband… isn’t. He wants to rendezvous with her, but he could be working with the consortium. If she rats on the scientists, her husband will die. But if she doesn’t, the consortium will kill her…
From HOW SPY I AM:
I fixed him with a weary eye. “Shoot me, tell me what’s on your mind, or shut the fuck up. Or hell, do all of them, in any order you please.”
“I’ve since devoured all five books in the series. Honestly, they’re like potato chips–I couldn’t stop.”
“Enjoyed not only this Spy book by Diane Henders but all the rest of her Spy books besides. Kept me up reading just could not put these books down.”
“I was so caught up in Aydan’s adventure that I bought one after another to discover answers to the mystery and intrigue that she was entangled in. It has been refreshing to read a book with a middle aged strong capable woman as the main character.”
Aydan Kelly’s part-time job with a clandestine government organization just got a lot more complicated. Forced to lie to save her lover’s career, she tells the director she’s an experienced secret agent. He believes her… and assigns her to a dangerous mission.
When Aydan realizes innocent lives are at stake, she tries to confess her deception, but it’s already too late. Cut off from the Department and used as a pawn in the vengeful schemes of an obsessed spy, she must stop him before he destroys the people she loves.
From A SPY FOR A SPY:
Oh, goody. I’d learned another valuable spy-skill. If you’re planning to shoot a spy, don’t knock on his front door. Duh.
“Downloaded “A Spy For A Spy” on my Kindle this morning. Couldn’t stop reading!!! BEST book of the series!!!”
“D Henders is one of the most talented writers I’ve had the privilege of reading. The way she makes you feel like your wearing the skin of her characters is a truly an amazing thing. This gave me goose bumps!” – Amy Swendra, MN
“The characters, plots and sub-plots are incredibly well developed. The writing is superb and reads fast. I have read all six books in this series in four days. I absolutely could not put them down. Wish I could give these books each more than five stars.”
Middle-aged bookkeeper Aydan Kelly knew pretending to be an experienced secret agent was a bad idea, but it was the only way to protect her lover. Now her lies have caught up to her in the worst possible way: everyone believes them.
Armed with nothing but a sleazy porn-star cover identity, Aydan must infiltrate a criminal organization to retrieve a secret weapon prototype. With her lover’s life at stake as well as her own, she can’t afford to fail. But she has no idea how to succeed…
From SPY, SPY AWAY:
Nine-fifteen, pitch dark, freezing cold, and I was about to drive two hours for the privilege of walking alone into a biker bar in the middle of the night. Well, just give me a ‘hell yeah’.
“Excellent work with the characters and plot line. Such a unique story, and love the writing!”
Railroaded into acting as a secret agent, Aydan Kelly only wants to return to her peaceful former existence. But when trusted co-workers go missing along with a deadly weapon prototype, she’s forced to take over the investigation to protect them from an agent with a personal vendetta.
And when a violent criminal organization abducts her lover, Aydan discovers exactly how far she’s willing to push the limits of her new role. The bad guys are about to learn an important lesson: Don’t piss off a middle-aged bookkeeper.
From SPY NOW, PAY LATER:
How much did I really trust Stemp? I didn’t know the man at all. My gut told me he wouldn’t betray us, but what the hell did my gut know? This was the same gut that thought it was a good idea to pig out on beer and burgers right before bed…
“One of the best series I have ever read and I’ll say the author is a master of her craft. Her descriptions and pacing of the stories are perfection.”
“I can not imagine how anyone can continue to write such awesome well developed stories that draw me in until I can not sleep until I finish the book. Then I want to read it again.”
“This is a must read for anyone who loves romance and lots of action and suspense. Wow! Wonderful series. Please bring the next installment soon.”
After four uneventful months spent guarding her boss’s eccentric hippy parents on an isolated raincoast commune, bookkeeper-turned-secret-agent Aydan Kelly is beginning to hope mildewed undies will be the only hazard she’ll face.
But some of the blissed-out flower children are not what they seem. Aydan discovers a plot to kill her lovable charges, and in her fight to protect them she unearths the commune’s deepest secret. Suddenly she’s facing dozens of enemies who threaten the lives of all the innocent commune members as well as her own.
She’ll only survive with a little help from her friends…
From SPY HIGH:
How the hell was I supposed to get down from the roof? As soon as my boots scraped the shingles Nichele would come running out with her flashlight again. And I couldn’t think of any plausible excuse if she caught me squatting up here like a constipated gargoyle.
“…a great read. I found myself smiling while reading. And then gritting my teeth with tension, while the suspense and mystery built.“
“This was one of those books that kept me engaged from page 1. And that meant, I was up until 2:30am finishing!”
“The suspense is top notch, the humor is perfectly balanced with the intensity of the moments. Each character is so well defined that you can’t help but know them as if they were old friends, or enemies…”
The INAPPROPRIATE series in order:
“Probably Inappropriate” is a selection of posts from her blog at http://www.dianehenders.com.
“Definitely Inappropriate” is the second volume of posts from her blog at http://www.dianehenders.com.
Diane Henders is a Canadian humorist, computer geek, and ex-interior designer who deals with her mid-life crisis by lying through her teeth (referred to in polite society as “fiction writing”).
“Totally Inappropriate” is the third volume of posts from her blog at http://www.dianehenders.com.
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About Book Releases
I wish I could set up pre-orders and simultaneous releases, but that process doesn’t quite work yet. It’s getting there, though – my distributors are working on it!
Here’s how it works at present:
E-books appear first on Smashwords (all e-book formats are available through them). Amazon usually trails them by a few hours. After that it can take days or weeks for the new e-book to propagate through the other distributors, but the Apple version usually shows up in iBooks before the rest. Paperbacks usually appear on Amazon and Barnes & Noble within a week or two.
Please contact me if you can’t find my books roughly within the timeframe I’ve mentioned (or if you notice they’re available and I haven’t sent out a notification yet – sometimes it’s hard to stay on top of everything in the flurry of activity around a book release).