Books

“OMG! I am in Paris and I started to read book 1 last night before bed. Went to sleep but woke up at 3am to read more. I’m hooked. Fabulous writing.”

Spicy suspense served hard-boiled

If you’re seeking intellectually stimulating literary fiction, you might as well keep looking.  But if you’re craving the literary equivalent of beer and pizza with chocolate for dessert (or for the entire meal)… welcome!

I got tired of reading stories about middle-aged female characters who sweetly reminisce about their younger years while the twenty-somethings have all the fun.  I’m not going to stop having adventures just because I’m over… okay, well over forty.

I’m old(er), not dead.

That’s why I created a kickass, foul-mouthed middle-aged bookkeeper who gets sucked into a spy’s life.  If you like fast-paced action with some laughs along the way, my books are for you.  I hope you enjoy them.

P.S. Want to be notified when I release a new book? Click here to join my list.

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The NEVER SAY SPY series in order:

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Never Say Spy - Book 1 of the NEVER SAY SPY Series by Diane HendersDespite her penchant for weapons and ripe language, Aydan Kelly’s resumé reads ‘bookkeeper’, not ‘badass’.   She’s leaving the city to fulfill her dream of rural tranquillity when she gets carjacked by a man who shouldn’t exist.

When RCMP officer John Kane kills her would-be abductor, Aydan thinks her troubles are over.  But Kane’s investigation implicates her in an international espionage plot, and criminal charges become the least of her worries when she’s targeted by the very spies Kane suspects her of aiding.

Pity her enemies.  Because nobody’s tougher than a middle-aged woman who wants her dream back.

13 straight months on the Kindle Top 100 Free!

From NEVER SAY SPY:

Sliding into bed, I touched the handle of the crowbar under the other pillow for reassurance.  I live alone.  If somebody breaks into my house in the middle of the night, what am I going to do?  Hit them with a pillow?  I don’t think so.

E-book now FREE for Kindle, Apple, Sony, Kobo, and Nook

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5stars2 “Clever premise, funny and smart, takes you on a wild ride, and keeps you guessing.”

5stars2 “Gotta love ‘em, quirky yet realistic characters combine with a fast-paced James Bond style plot for a whole new experience in action stories. Can’t wait to read the next one!”

5stars2 “The characters are funny, principled, sexy and flawed…everything that I want in a good story.”

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The Spy Is Cast - Book 2 of the NEVER SAY SPY Series by Diane Henders

When a clandestine government agency recruits middle-aged bookkeeper Aydan Kelly, she overcomes her fear and agrees to go undercover at a lavish gala affair.  But the glamour of the mission fades fast when she finds herself astride a motorcycle, assigned to an all-male surveillance team.

Aydan discovers spies are using classified technology to torture information from their captives.  Worse, they know she’s breached their security.  Now she has to prevent them from revealing her true identity, while avoiding capture by the vicious criminals who won’t hesitate to torture her, too.

From THE SPY IS CAST:

I had a sudden mental image of letting fly with a rip-roaring fart halfway through the elegant meal, and snickered.  “You behave,” I said severely to my reflection, struggling to quell its wicked grin.

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5stars2 “I feel like I’ve just finished a wild ride on an overpowered motorcycle – I’m exhausted, shaky and totally exhilarated.”

5stars2 “Just the right amount of violence, sex and good old spy adventure to keep you entertained for hours on end.”

5stars2 “This book is hard to label. Mix in a little scifi, with two parts spy, and one part sex, shaken, not stirred. Chug it down and enjoy.”

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Reach For The Spy - Book 3 of the NEVER SAY SPY Series by Diane Henders

Middle-aged bookkeeper Aydan Kelly never wanted to moonlight as a spy, but she doesn’t have a choice.  Working with computer networks in a secured building sounds safe, but it turns out the job’s a killer – literally.

When Aydan’s trusted co-worker is shot while committing an apparently treasonous act, Aydan embarks on a secret mission to clear his name.  But her investigation casts suspicion on the director of operations himself.  If he’s a double agent, Aydan’s in more danger than she ever imagined… and national security hangs in the balance.

From REACH FOR THE SPY:

Jesus, my yard was starting to feel like a Village People reunion.  So far I had the cop, the biker, and the cowboy.  My overstressed brain temporarily disengaged as I glanced toward the road, half-expecting to see a musclebound construction worker approaching.

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5stars2 “This series just gets better and better! I can’t stop reading! More action, turns and twists, great character development, and one hell of a fun read.”

5stars2 “OMG – fun fun fun and sexy too.”

5stars2 “I just can’t keep away. For Kelly, I’d even leave Bond behind. In the dust!”

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Tell Me No Spies - Book 4 of the NEVER SAY SPY Series by Diane Henders

Aydan Kelly has reluctantly accepted her unwanted role as a part-time spy.  It’s painful and dangerous, but she’s willing to make the sacrifice for the good of her country.  Too bad her country doesn’t have the same honourable intentions.

When Aydan discovers the government murdered her husband, the betrayal drives her on a quest to uncover the truth.  Living as a fugitive, alienated from the people she once trusted, she has to evade both government agents and the violent criminals who will sell her to the highest bidder.

From TELL ME NO SPIES:

My ass hurt like a bitch, it had taken me all goddamn night to get ten miles out of town, and I was starving, exhausted, and scared shitless.  And I had a Glock and a Bible.  Hell, what could possibly go wrong?

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5stars2 “This is the fourth book in a series that just keeps getting better. Aydan Kelly and Hellhound are hands down two of my favorite people in the whole world…”

5stars2 “YAHOO …A series mature women might seriously enjoy as a temporary “escape” from the challenges of their daily grind.”

5stars2 I haven’t been this hooked on a series like this since Karin Slaughter.”

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How Spy I Am - Book 5 of the NEVER SAY SPY Series by Diane Henders

In her work with a clandestine government agency, Aydan Kelly stumbles across a shadowy consortium of scientists whose members are selling classified information for personal profit.

Aydan wants to report them, but there’s a small complication:  her supposedly dead husband… isn’t.  He wants to rendezvous with her, but he could be working with the consortium.  If she rats on the scientists, her husband will die.  But if she doesn’t, the consortium will kill her…

From HOW SPY I AM:

I fixed him with a weary eye.  “Shoot me, tell me what’s on your mind, or shut the fuck up.  Or hell, do all of them, in any order you please.”

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5stars2 “I’ve since devoured all five books in the series. Honestly, they’re like potato chips–I couldn’t stop.”

5stars2 “Enjoyed not only this Spy book by Diane Henders but all the rest of her Spy books besides. Kept me up reading just could not put these books down.”

5stars2 “I was so caught up in Aydan’s adventure that I bought one after another to discover answers to the mystery and intrigue that she was entangled in. It has been refreshing to read a book with a middle aged strong capable woman as the main character.”

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06_A_Spy_For_A_SpyAydan Kelly’s part-time job with a clandestine government organization just got a lot more complicated.  Forced to lie to save her lover’s career, she tells the director she’s an experienced secret agent.  He believes her… and assigns her to a dangerous mission.

When Aydan realizes innocent lives are at stake, she tries to confess her deception, but it’s already too late.  Cut off from the Department and used as a pawn in the vengeful schemes of an obsessed spy, she must stop him before he destroys the people she loves.

From A SPY FOR A SPY:

Oh, goody.  I’d learned another valuable spy-skill.  If you’re planning to shoot a spy, don’t knock on his front door.  Duh.

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5stars2 “Downloaded “A Spy For A Spy” on my Kindle this morning. Couldn’t stop reading!!! BEST book of the series!!!”

5stars2 “D Henders is one of the most talented writers I’ve had the privilege of reading. The way she makes you feel like your wearing the skin of her characters is a truly an amazing thing. This gave me goose bumps!” – Amy Swendra, MN

5stars2 “The characters, plots and sub-plots are incredibly well developed. The writing is superb and reads fast. I have read all six books in this series in four days. I absolutely could not put them down. Wish I could give these books each more than five stars.”

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07_Spy_Spy_AwayMiddle-aged bookkeeper Aydan Kelly knew pretending to be an experienced secret agent was a bad idea, but it was the only way to protect her lover.  Now her lies have caught up to her in the worst possible way:  everyone believes them.

Armed with nothing but a sleazy porn-star cover identity, Aydan must infiltrate a criminal organization to retrieve a secret weapon prototype.  With her lover’s life at stake as well as her own, she can’t afford to fail.  But she has no idea how to succeed…

From SPY, SPY AWAY:

Nine-fifteen, pitch dark, freezing cold, and I was about to drive two hours for the privilege of walking alone into a biker bar in the middle of the night.  Well, just give me a ‘hell yeah’.

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5stars2 Outstanding! Diane Henders is one of 5 authors I recommend for almost any reader. Wow. Have fun.”

5stars2 Nail biting, tear shedding, heart wrenching, humor in all the right places. I mean, WHEW!”

5stars2 “Excellent work with the characters and plot line. Such a unique story, and love the writing!”

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book 8 coming

Book 8 in the NEVER SAY SPY series

to be released Spring/Summer 2014

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The INAPPROPRIATE series in order:

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Probably InappropriateDiane Henders is a Canadian humorist, computer geek, and ex-interior designer who deals with her mid-life crisis by lying through her teeth (referred to in polite society as “fiction writing”).

“Probably Inappropriate” is a selection of posts from her blog at http://www.dianehenders.com.

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v02_definitely_inappropriateDiane Henders is a Canadian humorist, computer geek, and ex-interior designer who deals with her mid-life crisis by lying through her teeth (referred to in polite society as “fiction writing”).

“Definitely Inappropriate” is the second volume of posts from her blog at http://www.dianehenders.com.

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v03_totally_inappropriate

Totally Inappropriate

to be released Spring/Summer 2014

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New Book Notification List

Want to know when I release a new book? Please click on the format(s) you prefer, and I’ll email you when new books are available.

Note:  I will keep your email confidential, and you will only receive an email when I release a new book in the format you’ve selected. You can sign up for one or more lists. You can unsubscribe from any or all lists at any time.

First available - all versionsKindleNookAppleKoboPaperback

About Book Releases

I wish I could set up pre-orders and simultaneous releases, but unfortunately I don’t have any way to do that.  I’m nagging my distributors about it!

Here’s how it works at present:

E-books appear first on Smashwords (all e-book formats are available through them).  Amazon usually trails them by a few hours.  After that it can take days or weeks for the new e-book to propagate through the other distributors, but the Nook version usually shows up on Barnes & Noble before the rest.  Paperbacks usually appear on Amazon and Barnes & Noble within a week or two.

Please contact me if you can’t find my books roughly within the timeframe I’ve mentioned (or if you notice they’re available and I haven’t sent out a notification yet – sometimes it’s hard to stay on top of everything in the flurry of activity around a book release).

Thanks!

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52 responses to “Books

  1. Dawn Walker

    I read all Spy novels back to back and can not wait for book 8 to come out!!! I love these books!!!

    • Thanks, Dawn – I’m so glad you love the series, and I really appreciate you dropping by to tell me! I’m hoping to have the Book 8 draft finished in a week or two, and then it’s off to my editors/proofreaders – I’m keeping my fingers crossed for a June release. :-)

  2. Mel Ortner

    Am I the only guy who reads your books ? I just finished Book 1 after ignoring my wife, job, home chores and all other responsibilities until it was done. Wow ! I loved everything about it and will now have to buy all the rest as I’m already jones’n for a Book 2 fix. And it’s only been 15 minutes.

    • Hi Mel! I’m so glad you loved Never Say Spy, and I hope you enjoy the rest of the series. Thank you for coming by to tell me – it was great to get a lift today after a long day of writing!

      And nope, you’re in good company – I have lots of male readers but for some reason they tend to write to me directly instead of posting on my pages, so thanks for being a renegade! ;-)

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  4. Lee Ann

    I now have my daughter hooked on your books. We both have been checking for new books. Can’t wait for the new one to come out.

    • Thanks, Lee Ann – I really appreciate you recommending my books! I’m hard at work on Book 8 – just finished writing a scene that made me laugh out loud. I hope it makes everybody else laugh, too… :-)

  5. Just finished reading book #3 and can’t wait to get the rest of them in my hands! Congrats to the most interesting and action packed series I’ve read in a long time. These characters are my crack and I can’t wait to see what’s up with each of them in each book. I’ve got a soft spot for Spider but I’m split with Team Kane and Team Hellhound. Just can’t choose…much like Ayden. I’m so glad you posted your pic. You are truly beautiful and now I know why everybody falls in love with Ayden. Love her potty mouth too!

    • Hi Charlotte – I’m proud to be your literary crack dealer! ;-) Thank you for your lovely compliments – I’m so glad you’re enjoying the series and the characters. I’m not sure if Aydan will make up her mind one day or not, but that’s why I have so much fun writing – the characters surprise me as often as they surprise my readers.

      Thanks for taking the time to drop by and comment – I really appreciate it!

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  7. Deanna

    I loved Never Say Spy which I got free through Kindle. That, I think, is more beneficial marketing than a nude picture, but you got to do what you got to do. I am going to catch up to the rest of your fans and read the remaining 5 that are available to read and hope that the 7th book is ready soon.

    • LOL! I think you’re right about the nude picture – it seems to me that could backfire… though it might turn out to be lucrative when people offer me money to put my clothes back ON. ;-)

      I’m so glad you loved Never Say Spy – thanks for coming by to tell me. I hope you enjoy the rest of the series!

  8. Lisa Keefner

    Words are inadequate to describe how much your books have changed me. Sadly, I’m unemployed currently, but happily your exquisite series has taken me from frustrated about not working to frustrated that I actually need sleep-unlike your groovy super spy/bookkeeper. Thank you for offering your first book on the free books to download. Once happily ensconced I immediately bought the rest of the series and finished them in less than a week. I cannot wait for your next book and love that she stays true to herself! I actually laughed out loud at some of your expletives and am smiling even now thinking about ‘baloney pony!’ My gratitude goes out to you for letting this wonderfully flawed women be portrayed so those of us who have our spy years still in front of us can celebrate!

    • Thanks, Lisa! I’m glad you got a laugh out of ‘baloney pony’ – I had so much fun writing that scene! And I’m glad my books coincided with a time when sleeplessness didn’t inconvenience you too much. The whole problem with being between jobs is that you don’t even get to enjoy the break from work if you don’t know when you’ll have money coming in again. Grrr – no fun at all. Wishing you the best of luck with the employment situation, and thank you for taking time to let me know you enjoyed the series!

  9. Mary L Smith

    I love the entire series! Found myself staying up until 3:30A.M. to read, even though I had to be up @ 7:30 to work; and I’d do it again. Fortunately, or maybe that should be unfortunately, I’ve finished all 6 books, & have to wait for the next one to be available. Can’t wait. I plan to miss sleep when it is published. Please hurry, I’m biding my time to read next installment.

    • Thank you – your sleeplessness is a lovely compliment! But ouch, that must have made for a lo-o-o-ong workday.

      I’m hurrying as fast as I can, but my life has been crazy lately. It’ll all settle down in a couple of weeks, though, and Book 7 is still on schedule for an early release. Stay tuned…

      Thanks for dropping by!

  10. Rebecca

    Stumbled upon this series while I was searching for new books to fill up my kindle (and my spare time between obligatory reading for uni). I definitely didn’t expect to be sitting up until five in the morning because I had to get this book finished! It’s so refreshing to find a REAL female protagonist. And I accidentally fell a bit in love with Hellhound (still rooting for Kane and his fantastic arms though.) I absolutely ADORE these characters, maybe more so because they totally snuck up on me and now I’m obsessed. Very excited to start book #2! Thank you for these books. You’ve totally ruined my life.

    • Oops, sorry about that. (Okay, not really, but it seemed like the right thing to say.) I’m glad you fell a little in love with Hellhound – I love all my characters, but… *whispers* …he’s kinda my favourite. Don’t tell the others, okay?

      Thanks for taking the time to come by and give me such great compliments! I hope you enjoy the rest of the series (and that it doesn’t cut into your obligatory reading.) Good luck at uni! :-)

  11. BJWilson

    Love this series! Had to buy all of them
    Waiting for the next book.
    Hurry up and finish it! Lol

  12. Beth

    Just discovered your series in my never ending quest for interesting series with female protagonists by female authors! I’m all caught up in every series I read (write faster people!!) and was so happy to find yours (first one free on iBooks…just like a drug dealer!) I tore through all 6 books in less than a week and cannot wait for number 7. Thanks for creating an interesting, REAL, middle aged female lead and an intriguing premise. I’m rooting for Kane and would like to see Ayden loosen up a bit…perhaps that’s my Eve Dallas/Rourke love coming through! Looking forward to what comes next!

    • LOL – I’m proud to be your literary drug dealer! :-) And it’s great to hear that you devoured and enjoyed the series – Book 7 might even be released a little earlier than planned (I hope). As for Kane and Aydan, even I don’t know what’s going to happen next – my characters just keep surprising me!

      Thank you for taking the time to come by and comment – I appreciate it!

  13. Faye Boley

    Love, Love,Love this series!! Have read the first 5, ready to start #6! Can’t start it today, have to do things to get ready for work this week. If I start, won’t do ANYTHING but read! Love Ayden, Kane and Hellhound! They have REAL feelings/emotions. Have read all the “Stephanie” series. Hope there are just as many or more of Ayden. Can’t wait for #7!!!

    • Thanks, Faye! I’m so glad you love the books – I have so much fun writing the characters and I’m always pumped to hear that they ring true! So far #7 is going faster than I expected and I already have some ideas for #8, but I don’t know if I can match Stephanie Plum. Time will tell… :-)

      I really appreciate your encouragement – thanks for dropping by!

  14. dawn carpmail

    Hi diane ive just finished all six books 5 stars for each and every one i enjoyed them immensely now the long wait for the next one . I enjoyed learning more about your characters ,all the twists and turns in the plot make your books so enjoyable

    • Hi Dawn -

      Thanks – it’s so nice of you to take the time to come by and tell me! I’m glad you enjoyed the series so far, and I’m hard at work on Book 7. :-)

  15. Loved the series. Keep ‘em coming. Like you I was tired of the sexy, svelte twenty something heroines. So glad there’s Aydan Kelly. She’s my fictional counterpart. As a sexy young 60 I too am commitment phobic and would rather work with power tools than make up sponges! Thanks for the enjoyable reading hours.

    • Hi Joann -

      It’s great to “meet” another toolaholic! I’m so glad you enjoyed the series – thanks for dropping by to tell me. It always makes my day to hear that people like you identify with my characters. The world needs more sexy young 60s! :-)

      • I just spent the day reading the latest one. Love the part where she finally becomes “human” for a bit. Glad it was with Hellhound. Keep up the good work. I love a good read!

        • Aha, another Hellhound fan! I have so much fun writing his character! I hope you’ve voted in the poll in the right-hand column – my readers are locked in a struggle between Team Kane and Team Hellhound and the numbers are close. Hellhound needs your vote… ;-)

          • Nope.I’m not gonna chose between Hellhound and Kane. They both keep her happy and she’s strong enough to handle the both of them. I swear I met Hellhound in real life. Beard, raspy voice, tattoos and Harley! It was awesome to see someone in person who fit the character you wrote about.

            • A woman after my own heart! That’s why I included “choosing would take the fun out of it” in the poll, and 27% agree. :-)

              What fun that you spotted Hellhound! I’ve seen a few copies of him roaming around, and for a while there was a “Kane” who worked out at my gym. (Never spoke to him, though. Somehow I just couldn’t visualize a good outcome to that conversation.)

  16. Oh my gosh, thank you so much for giving us a female lead who has an IQ and a fantastic dry humor. My first book last night; fell asleep with it and woke up at 0500 and finished it. Thank you for the humor, and real language that she uses (this is not Pollyanna time), thank you for being refreshing. What a treat. OK, so need to get the next ones. Big time.

    • Thanks – I’m so glad you enjoyed Book 1! :-D

      It makes my day to get comments like yours – it’s a little risky to write such a non-traditional character, so I’m pumped when people like you drop by to tell me you liked what I did. Hope you enjoy the rest of the series.

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  18. Carrrissima

    I just finished reading all 5 books. I couldn’t put them down!! Your books not only made me laugh at times they also made me hold my breath in anticipation of what was going to happen next. I am secretly cheering for Aydan and Kane! I can’t wait for book 6 and download to my kindle as soon as I can. Thanks for taking me on such a great ride and some great new catchy sayings!!

    • LOL! I won’t ask if the “catchy sayings” are ones that can be repeated in public… or not…

      I’m so glad you enjoyed the series! Right now I’m waiting for the cover art and final editorial comments for Book 6, and then it’ll go off for final proofing. The planned release is by the end of March, but I hope to have cover art up in the next couple of days.

      Thanks for dropping by to say hi, and for your kind words! :-)

  19. Daniela

    I can’t wait for book 6. I just read all your books in less than a week. I love Kane and Ayden’s characters. Can’t wait to see how they react to each other in book 6. Could not put the books down. Forge 5 stars I give it 10 stars.

    • Hi Daniela -

      Thank you so much for coming by to tell me – I’m glad you enjoyed the series! So far I’m a week ahead of schedule on Book 6, so I hope to have it out there soon.

      I really appreciate your comment – ten out of five stars makes my day! :-)

  20. I have just finished all 5 books… read at a fever’s pitch. Fast. Fast. Faster. I’ve just decided to start over and read them all a bit slower! Wonderful, wonderful writing and I am attached to all of the characters.

    • Thanks, Robin! It’s so nice of you to drop by and tell me. Maybe by the time you finish the Book 5 again, I’ll have Book 6 ready. I hope to finish writing by the end of the month, and then it goes to beta readers and editors and all the formatting and cover design has to be done. It looks as though the release date will be somewhere around the end of March… but I’m hoping for sooner!

      Thanks again for your kind words! :-)

  21. Glen

    Fantastic just finished the third book. I cannot wait to begin the next one. I am Handicapped. Reading is my is my favorite thing to do. Hard to to find good authors. Now I have found a very entertaining one. Thank you

  22. Hi Diane, This is not a come on, but you are beautiful. I enjoyed “Never Say Spy.” I give it 5 stars. I couldn’t put it down. I too, write, but I haven’t gotten any feedback. You asked for it so this is what you get. The compliment is well meant, just responding to you add-ons at the end of the edition.
    I found I came to know Ayden quite well, And Spider too, John Kane not as much. All the agents were nice guys and seemed compassionate, caring, but I didn’t know who they were below the surface.
    I knew more about Hellhound, a nicely drawn character, complex, smart, with depth and character to spare. As to Ayden, “tough broad,” but her abilities seemed a little implausible. She also seemed a lot smarter than any of the others; they were agents, presumably in their jobs because of brains not only muscles. I’m being candid, not superior. My first three works, a trilogy are amateurish compared to your. My fourth one is better, but that may not be saying much. Anyway, this isn’t about me.
    When I finished the book, downloaded from Smashwords I really felt I wanted to write, and express enjoyment, appreciation, maybe a little sharing of the writing experience, and to say thank you, nicely done. I don’t write reviews very often but felt compelled to write this one. Best of luck to you. Dan Schorsch (age 77, dirty old man.)

    • Hi Dan -

      Thank you for taking the time to comment (and compliment) – I really appreciate it! I’m pleased with your character evaluation. Sounds as though I nailed what I’d intended to do: making the civilian characters a bit more open and the secret agents a little more… um… secretive. :-)

      Your comment about Aydan’s abilities isn’t unexpected – there are a few of us female target shooters around, but we’re pretty scarce. As the series progresses, I dole out some more backstory which (I hope) makes her abilities a bit more plausible and also deepens the characters of the agents.

      Nice to hear from a fellow writer. I definitely know what you mean about the quality of our earlier works – it takes a few novels to get our feet under us. I actually rewrote Never Say Spy three different times: the initial edition; again after I finished my third novel (before any of them were published); and a final time after I finished my fourth novel. And I still go back sometimes and think, “Maybe I should have changed that…” It’s the curse of the writer.

      Thanks again for dropping by, and the best of luck to you, as well.

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  25. Whoa! When did all this happen?

    Congratulations! :)

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