Hubby’s Got A Big Deck

I mentioned last year that Hubby had gotten a deck enlargement kit and we were very happy with the results, but this week he surprised me with an even bigger deck!

You’d think it would be too much of a good thing. In fact, before last week, if you had asked me if I was satisfied with the size of Hubby’s deck, I would have said “Definitely!”. But Hubby knows what I want even before I want it. One look at his new big deck, and I fell in love all over again. I wanted to be on it all day long!

And since we were hidden in the trees of our acreage, I blush to admit that’s exactly what I did. There’s nothing like enjoying a deck alfresco. The feel of the breeze on your skin; the illicit thrill of knowing somebody might sneak through the trees and catch you in the act… it was intoxicating!

And that night, sitting on Hubby’s deck was so good I saw stars.

The best part is its rigidity. Often a large deck can be floppy, but Hubby’s is as stiff as can be. He could probably have a dozen people on his deck in a day, and it would still be just as stiff as ever.

He’s not really into that, though – it’s just him and me.  Although… *whispers* …we might invite a couple of really close friends to join us later. But that’s probably too much information.

It’s not all sunshine and rainbows, though. One of the main problems with any deck is keeping it clean. There’s nothing more disgusting than a dirty deck, and after I’d gotten on and off Hubby’s deck so many times during the day, it really needed a good wash. So I got busy. Running my hands over his smooth hard wood was a joy, and his deck looked bigger than ever by the time I’d finished rubbing it all shiny clean.

So of course I couldn’t resist getting on it again. And again…

Another problem with a huge deck is that it tends to get in the way. In fact when I first saw it, Hubby was dragging it on the ground. It made me wince just watching him walk over the gravel.

But with a bit of manoeuvring he got it tucked into place, and now Hubby’s smiling again. He figures it was worth the temporary discomfort just to know that any guy would be envious of his big deck. And he doesn’t admit it to me, but I’m sure he knows a deck that size is a major chick magnet.

So we’re both delighted with his deck, and we’re looking forward to enjoying it together for a long time to come.

I hope the internet censors will look the other way just this once, because I can’t resist sharing a dirty picture of Hubby’s deck:

Sorry it’s dirty; I’d been on and off it all day and hadn’t gotten around to cleaning it yet…

Sorry it’s dirty; I’d been on and off it all day and hadn’t gotten around to cleaning it yet…

Anybody else have a big deck story?

* * *

We have winners in the Book 8 Giveaway! Kathy Williamson and Lee-Ann have won the contest for signed paperback copies of Spy Now, Pay Later. Ladies, you should have received an email from me yesterday – if you didn’t, please click here to email me your mailing addresses. A big thanks to everybody for participating – I really enjoyed all your comments! :-)

45 Comments

Filed under Humour

45 responses to “Hubby’s Got A Big Deck

  1. And speaking of word play, I just remembered something that happened years ago. I’m a real fan of instrumental jazz. Candy Dulfer had just hit the big time, and I’d bought her first tape. Was listening to it when wife said something like who’s playing? I handed her the cassette cover with Candy’s picture on it. She said, Wow, she’s pretty! I replied, Pretty? She’s the best sax I ever had!

    Won’t ever make that mistake again. Not. Ever.

    Candy’s about to turn 45, and she’s still absolutely stunning. And still the best sax I ever had. But don’t tell my wife…

    Like

  2. After reading that I almost felt my deck was inadequate, but my wife reminds me of how much fun she has with it. Sometimes she even decorates my deck with flowers and spends nearly all day on it. I have learned to love my deck and all the fun we have there.

    Like

  3. moondance4me

    I agree with Ms. Taylor. Manu Bennet would make a good John Kane, maybe not quite as tall as I’ve pictured Kane, but still a good pick. He’s definitely worth a good “woof-woof”! LOL!

    Like

  4. Kathryn Taylor

    As I gasped for breathe to recover from reading about your hubby’s big deck, I was cruising for John Kane on the internet. Guess he’s what came to mind.
    Anyway, I realize as the creator of your characters you have likely chosen the actors to play them in all future productions (when did you say they were coming?). If by chance you are still racking your brain for the perfect Kane, may I suggest Manu Bennett? He also goes by John Bennett (a clear sign of kismet). Currently in the Starz show Spartacus, he already has the facial scars, square jaw, age, coloring, build and attitude.
    Just a thought.
    P.S. You’re personality is an absolute riot. Love your books and blog.

    Like

    • Thanks, Kathryn! That’s so funny you should mention casting just now – only a couple of days ago I emailed my friends that I’d found my latest pick for Hellhound! (Dave Bautista, in case you were wondering – I’ve never seen him act, but he looks close to the way I imagine Hellhound. Not quite ugly enough, but what can you do?) And yummy; Manu Bennett works for me! Other suggestions for Kane have been Joe Manganiello, Gerard Butler, and Victor Webster. Mmm, I want to be there for that casting call! :-)

      Like

      • Kathryn Taylor

        Yeah he doesn’t have the height but hey, movies made Schwarzenegger look tall. ….! I thought of Joe Manganiello too but he’s not MEATY enough. However he’s plenty gorgeous and tasty.
        Dave Bautista: definitely could work for Hellhound. Make – up artists worth their salt can make him look just the right kind of ugly. When I read the stories I imagine a younger, bald Tex Cobb :D Love Arnie; really appreciate the depth of character you give him.
        I have a very active imagination (which makes your kind of personality leap off the pages at me). I wish we were friends. Your sense of humor and intelligence are a great combo. Thanks for sharing it with us.

        Like

  5. joe

    Yes in so many ways!!!!!! This is why your my favorite yet haha

    Like

  6. You naughty naughty girl! It’s a good thing hubby has lots of stamina for such a big deck.

    Like

  7. You are a master at the play on words. Hilarious and my guess is besides the fun you had on the deck you had even more writing about it. :)

    Like

  8. I chuckled and snorted at the same time, Diane. I hope you get great pleasure from that deck of yours.

    Like

  9. Forget E.L. James; the literary world now has “50 Shades of Deck” by Diane Henders. I think I need to shower now. ;)

    Like

  10. moondance4me

    ROFLMAO! That was the best written “deck” story I have ever read. I’ll be laughing all day over that one. And to end it with the beautiful picture, well, no wonder he’s proud and no wonder you are enjoying it soooo much. Loving the way your mind works!

    Like

  11. Wow – I’ve had emails about deck enlargement kits, but I thought they were a scam! Looks great.

    Like

  12. Beware of carpenter ants, nothing can ruin the use of a deck like an unwanted infestation.

    Like

  13. Sounds like your beaver really IS well and truly stuffed. :)

    Like

  14. hehe My hubby finally got his own deck last year. Actually, the deck is both his and mine. It’s in a semi-secluded area. He enjoys relaxing while sitting on it. I enjoy leisurely pacing on it. (I’m a pacer, what can I say.) We even outfitted it with a huge grill, and eat on it. But when the bugs get to be too much, we stop our deck activities until another time.

    Like

What do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s