I’m Probably A Sociopath: Exhibit B

A couple of weeks ago, I concluded I was probably a sociopath.  Just in case more evidence was needed, this photo from my living room provides the confirmation:

Cabbage-rose patterned chair

Photographic evidence: Exhibit B

According to Wikipedia, a diagnosis of sociopathy can be made if the subject exhibits at least three of six hallmarks.  Let’s look at them individually, shall we?

Items 1 and 2:

  1. Callous unconcern for the feelings of others.
  2. Gross and persistent attitude of irresponsibility and disregard for social norms, rules, and obligations.

The fact that I harbour this furniture in my living room definitely qualifies me for both items (and probably also for an emergency decorating intervention).  Anyone who cares about the feelings of others or the norms of society would never force another human being to witness that fabric pattern.  But I kinda like it.  It’s… bold.  Yeah, that’s the word I was looking for.  Bold.

Item 3:  Incapacity to maintain enduring relationships, though having no difficulty in establishing them.

I thought I’d be able to weasel out of diagnosis when I read this.  I have no problem with relationships.  So there.

But then came…

Item 4:  Very low tolerance to frustration and a low threshold for discharge of aggression, including violence.

Um… well, yeah, I get frustrated sometimes.  Who doesn’t?  And yeah, I kickbox, but that’s not really violent, is it?  I mean, it’s not like I’m whacking little old ladies in the streets, right?  Just because I go downstairs and kick the hell out of my 270-lb bag when I’m having a bad day doesn’t mean I’m violent.  And really, “low threshold for discharge of aggression” is such a subjective thing.  “Low” compared to what?  Kickboxing is just a healthy outlet for my frustration.

Item 5:  Incapacity to experience guilt or to profit from experience, particularly punishment.

I figured I was home free when I read the first part.  I’ve got lots of guilt.  I tend to ignore it, but I definitely have it, so that’s gotta count for something.  But then there’s the ‘inability to profit from experience/punishment’ part.  Being a fiction writer is pretty much indistinguishable from punishment sometimes.  And apparently I haven’t learned much from it, ‘cause I keep on writing.

Item 6:  Markedly prone to blame others or to offer plausible rationalizations for the behavior that has brought the person into conflict with society.

Oh shit, rationalizations.  But that thing about the kickboxing wasn’t really a rationalization, was it?  That previous sentence wasn’t a rationalization, either.  I’m pretty sure about that.  And anyway, my mother picked out the furniture.  So it’s not really my fault…

Oops, rationalization and blame.

The wiki also helpfully notes, “There may be persistent irritability as an associated feature.”

“Irritability”?  Come on, seriously?  Do you know anybody who doesn’t get irritated sometimes?  That really pisses me off!

I mean… um… never mind.

So I’m five out of six, with bonus points for irritability.  That might worry me if I didn’t have a gross and persistent disregard for social norms.

And I just can’t seem to feel guilty about that…

30 Comments

Filed under Humour, Life

30 responses to “I’m Probably A Sociopath: Exhibit B

  1. Pingback: Creepy Stalker Here | Diane Henders

  2. wow, that sofa is…ummm…I’ll need some time to come up with something nice to say about it…lol

  3. I thought all Canadians were polite, good natured people.

  4. Compared to the chair behind Don Mills, of crabbyoldfart fame, yours is just fine. As to being a sociopath, well, join the club.

  5. I’d have to say that chair is cause for some concern, but as long as you are working your guilt to the max then its probably ok. Anyway, nornal is so overrated.

    Cheers!

  6. shreejacob

    I agree with lindagrimes ^^. I don’t think its ugly! AND I’m used to sitting on big flowers too!
    Don’t they also say that sociopaths look SO normal and seem like such lovely people? Then when you look that them you think “What a nice person”…uhm..you do look lovely on your profile picture…hmm…

    LOL! Kickboxing by the way is a very healthy thing to do ;)

    • LOL! Do you know how hard I had to work to look human/normal for that profile picture? There were only three out of approximately 240 pictures that were marginally acceptable. But hey, it’s nice to hear I succeeded in my deception. :-)

  7. Pssst…I don’t think the chair is all that ugly. So what does that say about me?

  8. Oh, wow. I think you need to donate that chair to the Wonderbutt Cause.

  9. I’ve seen worse furniture – in my very own house. I think it contributes to my irritability and feelings of aggression, but that’s really not my fault, right?

  10. You would make a great character in a novel or a movie. A kickboxing sociopath with a fanny pack, a motorcycle and a wacky helmet.

    • Thanks! (I think…) But the book would probably get criticized because the character wasn’t believable. :-) The protag in my novels does wear a fanny pack, though. And she’s been known to ride a motorcycle now and then.

  11. I love the chair. It’s colorful and looks comfortable. As a full-time RV-er I do my laundry at the laundrymat and my load of clothes coming out of the dryer is always the most colorful basket in sight.

  12. Yep. That chair is ugly. But I’m more worried about your bow and arrow. Combined with your kickboxing, you could be a very scary woman, indeed. ;)

  13. 1. yep, ✔
    2. another ✔
    3. relationships – plural – that’s a ✔
    4. ✔ (You should see me tear into a fake chicken patty. It’s scary.)
    5. ✔
    6. ✔

    And I would totally wear that pattern as an Aloha shirt or muʻumuʻu.

    High five! :)

  14. Hilarious – some great bumper stickers or T-shirt logos hiding here

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