The Great Motorcycle Debate

*F-BOMB ALERT* – CONTAINS (more) COARSE LANGUAGE (than usual)

Spring is finally around the corner, and a middle-aged woman’s fancy turns lightly to thoughts of… motorcycles.  In honour of the season, I pose you the following question:  cruiser or crotch-rocket?

I’m a cruiser fan.  I’ve got some old wrist and knee injuries that get aggravated by the weight-forward position on a crotch-rocket, and anyway, I’m a traditionalist.  I like the kicked-back coolness of a cruiser.

Here’s the considered opinion of a couple of the characters in my second book, The Spy Is Cast:

*****

Germain and Hellhound put on their riding leathers, and we all trooped out of the hot RV into the cooler outside air.  Germain swung astride his Yamaha, and Hellhound grimaced.

“Shit.  Can’t believe I’m gonna hafta ride on the back of this piece a’ Jap crap.  Lucky it’s gettin’ dark so nobody’ll see me.  Why don’t ya get a real bike?”

“It’s better than that bone-rattling piece of shit you call a Harley,” Germain retorted good-naturedly.  “They’ve been making bikes for how long, and they still can’t make one with a decent muffler?”

Hellhound perched precariously on the back, struggling to hoist his boots up onto the passenger pegs.  “Why the hell would ya wanna ride one a’ these goddam crotch rockets anyhow?” he groused as he groped behind him for handholds.  “Ya like bustin’ your fuckin’ nuts on the tank?  Maybe you ain’t usin’ your junk anymore, but I still wanna keep mine in workin’ order.”

“Don’t they make a cute couple?” I observed loudly to Kane.

“Hey, Germain,” Kane called.  “That’s got to be the ugliest girlfriend I’ve ever seen!”

Hellhound flipped him a stiff middle finger as they pulled away, and we laughed while they rode out of sight.

* * *

So which do you like better – cruisers or crotch rockets?

28 Comments

Filed under Commentary, Life

28 responses to “The Great Motorcycle Debate

  1. I love my(?) Yamaha R6. Only gripe is that I am 3 inches too short for comfort. I have to ride lying down on the gas tank. So cruiser for longer rides

    I think I am going to buy your books :)

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    • Ooh, nice bike! I just looked up the specs – that 600cc displacement is unusual. I can see where lying on the tank wouldn’t be comfortable for long trips, but you’d be really aerodynamic for short, fast ones!

      Hope you enjoy the books if you decide to buy them. :-)

      Like

  2. Um…the sidecar, with a beer and a blindfold?

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  3. The bike doesn’t matter to me. Just the man who is on it! ;)

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  4. uglicoyote

    I’ve ridden em all. Goldwing, Kawaski, Yamaha, Harley. Dirt bikes, cruisers, touring bikes and sport bikes. Currently a Road King rider and I’ve put some long miles on it. Great Bike! However, I’m 64 now and I have several things still on my bucket list involving motorcycles. The RK is for sale and the next bike will either be a sport touring bike or an “adventure” bike. Right now I’m leaning toward the KTM 990 Adventure. I’m tired of restricting my touring to just the paved roads. To each his own, I say. If you’re riding a motorcycle you’re cool with me.

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    • Wow, you really have done it all. I guess the “best” bike is the one that takes you where you want to go and makes you happy on the way. :-)

      Thanks for visiting and commenting!

      Like

  5. Sorry, Diane, I’ve never ridden motorbikes much, and the ones I have certainly didn’t deserve the rocket or cruiser moniker, they were neither fast not comfortable. I guess if I had to choose, I’d go for the rocket, Harleys seem to attract older guys who are slowing down and loosing their hair … and the truth hurts :)

    Having said that, the Fatboy in the picture with the tool chest in the background – that wouldn’t be yours, would it?

    Cheers!

    Like

    • Aha, the second rocket vote! I knew there had to be a few enthusiasts out there. And ouch to the “older guy” comment – I don’t think you’re ready for the Geezerglide yet. :-)

      Sadly, no, the Fatboy isn’t mine, nor is the tool chest. I dream of owning both with equal fervour.

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  6. Jason

    Crotch rockets all the way. People say cruisers are more comfortable, I say just go faster and you wont be uncomfortable for long…. Although to be clear, I will ride anything with 2 wheels and enjoy myself.

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    • LOL! “You won’t be uncomfortable for long” – true in a couple of ways: either you’ll get there faster, or you’ll hit something really fast, thereby ending your discomfort permanently…

      But hey, thanks for being the first brave crotch rocket vote!

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  7. I know nothing about motorbikes either, Diane, but I have been to a few biker shows and racing events (are these ‘meets’… I don’t even know the correct lingo!), and all I saw there were crotch rockets, I suppose. Racers. I think I prefer them to Cruisers, but I may have been led astray…

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    • Yes, racing a cruiser would be a lost cause (except for some of the hopped-up drag bikes, which are another breed entirely). If you have a need for speed, a hyperbike is the way to go.

      Since I prefer to travel at speeds that won’t completely vaporize my body in the event of an accident, the appeal of the faster crotch rocket is lost on me. :-)

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  8. I know absolutely nothing about motorcycles, but since just reading the term “crotch rocket” causes me pain, I’ll go with the cruiser by default.

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  9. Harper Faulkner

    Without a doubt, the Fatboy. I love the Fatboy and wish I owned one. No crotch rocket for me! But, if I had my pick of any I would go with the BMW R 1200. Now that is one sweet ride! HF

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    • Sweet ride indeed! One my other characters, Kane, rides a 2009 BMW K1300R. Book 2 was lots of fun to write, especially the motorcycle chase scene. I got a chance to write about a couple of my own butt-puckering riding experiences. :-)

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  10. So a crotch-rocket is a type of motorcycle? Now you tell me! Gives a whole new meaning to “Hey, wanna ride my crotch-rocket?”

    lol Those stiff middle fingers . . whenever I see one of those, I always imagine I see the tip glistening. And the excavator is displaying in a show of pride. :8D

    Great passage, I was right there, smelling the fumes! ;)

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  11. Cruisers. Crotch rockets look like an accident waiting to happen. ;)

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    • And so they are. It just seems risky for guys to ride with that tank crammed between their legs, especially if they have to brake hard.

      Reminds of the old rat bike I used to borrow from one of my guy friends for dirt biking sometimes. It had two shallow dents side-by-side in the lower part of the tank just above the seat…

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  12. definitely a cruiser. I rode them all, including my epic ride into Milwaukee for their 95th anniversary on my Deuce, with the woman I would soon marry :)

    Cruiser type of bikes allow me to enjoy my surroundings as well as the bike, and it creates a very good balance of experiencing the journey.
    Crotch rocket is mostly all about “bike, bike ,bike”. The pleasure is all about the bike and nothing else.

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  13. Judy Bayes

    I must agree with you. I could never get comfortable on a crotch rocket. I am use to sitting back in a relaxed position as a passenger on a cruising bike but on a crotch rocket the whole leaning forward just felt wrong to me.

    Like

  14. Pingback: *F-BOMB ALERT* – CONTAINS (more) COARSE LANGUAGE… | Helmet Hair Motorcycle News

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