A couple of weeks ago, one of our senators caused a kerfuffle when she took verbal potshots at our national animal, the beaver. Calling it a “dentally defective rat” and a “toothy tyrant”, she suggested that we should change our national animal to the “noble” and much more photogenic polar bear. Righteous indignation and off-colour jokes abounded.
According to the online poll at CBC, 78.54% of respondents thought the beaver should stay. Comments sections were overwhelmed by thousands of responses. Most of the male writers stated a particular fondness for beavers, though many accidentally omitted the ‘s’. A mere oversight, I’m sure. Female respondents in general tended to exhort the good senator to leave their beavers alone.
In keeping with the typical ugliness of celebrity confrontations, the love lives of the contenders were brought into question, too. Many observed that polar bears will pretty much screw anything that moves, while beavers mate for life, thereby cementing the beaver’s reputation as a morally superior mammal. (No word on the senator’s love life at this time.)
To add to the mud-flinging, photos worthy of the most sordid tabloids were posted, showing a frowsy beaver with a deranged expression, contrasted with a soft-focus photo of a snowy-white, perfectly-groomed polar bear. In retaliation, the polar bear’s weight problem was identified and cruelly ridiculed.
Almost as cruelly ridiculed was the senator herself. The general consensus was that we should keep the beaver and ditch the senate.
In other news, I noticed an article about farmers hunting beavers to save their land from the destructive flooding caused by dams. No eyebrows were raised over this article, though. It’s not exactly news that much time, energy, and money is expended in the hunt for beaver. Or, um… beavers.
P.S. I’m still with my step-mom while she undergoes chemo this week, so I may be slow in responding to comments, and I might not make it around to comment on my favourite blogs. I’m still thinking of you, though. Thanks for visiting!
Author Diane Henders 
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And also, since I hit the button before I finished my thought, all the best to your Mom – tell her the entire Interwebs say Good Luck! 😉
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Thank you! She really appreciates all the good wishes – it’s been a real boost for her.
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This is great – and I’m realizing that what my blog needs is MORE BEAVER!
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…because there’s no such thing as too much beaver, right? 🙂
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I’m writing from here in the Beaver State. It took a little getting used to, moving here in my early twenties and seeing all the fuss about the local teams (the Beavers and the Ducks)–were these people serious? And yes, the headlines in the sports section did mention who licked whom.
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I didn’t realize there was a Beaver State. Nice to know we’re not alone on the receiving end of all those nudges and winks. 🙂
As to the Ducks licking the Beavers… not even going to go there. LOL!
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Most Canadians have never seen a polar bear in the wild, and never will. They may never see a beaver either, but at least they could if they ever went outside.
I hope your Step-Mom is doing okay. Tell her your blogger friends wish her well.
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Very true about the visibility issue. I have actually seen polar bears in the wild, and I have no real desire to see them up close and personal ever again. I’d much rather encounter a beaver. 🙂
And thank you so much for the good wishes. I’ve passed them on, and my step-mom sends her thanks, too.
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I’m not Canadian, so I don’t get to vote. But I used to live in British Columbia. 🙂 So I’ll offer my opinion.
The Sasquatch.
That way the polar bear backers won’t have to hang their heads in shame, having lost to a socialist (the beaver). And the beaver backers won’t have to hang their heads in shame, having lost to a corporate sellout (the polar bear).
But, like I mentioned, I’m not from Canada, so I’ll understand if “Sasquatch” isn’t added to the ballot.
And I believe senators do not yet have term limits because the senators in office have only *begun* talking about the crucial issue of Beaver VS Polar Bear. The national emblem is a very complex issue with many layers of implications requiring many committee and subcommittee appointments. To throw out all the years of discussion and debate and put in a new batch of senators TOTALLY UNFAMILIAR with the ways and means of beavers and polar bears wouldn’t be fair to the outcome of this national identity crisis. Oh Canada! 😉
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Sasquatch! I love it! As to the senators, don’t get me started. Maybe we could have a cage match between the senators, the sasquatch, and the polar bears? 🙂
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