PANIC!! …Nah.

It’s funny how the bloggers I follow seem to read each other’s minds.  This past week, there have been all kinds of posts about stress, panic, and overwhelm.  So what the hell, I’ll get in on it, too.

Panic is an interesting critter.  It starts out as, “Oh, crap, I forgot the candles for hubby’s birthday cake”, and instantly morphs into, “Oh-my-God-I’m-such-a-loser-my-husband-will-divorce-me-my-friends-will-hate-me-I’ll-end-up-dying-broken-and-alone-in-a-rat-infested-cardboard-box-under-a-bridge”.

Whoa, say what?  That’s good stuff.  If I could pour that into an engine, I could blow the doors off some top-fuel dragsters.  Zero to insanity in under a second.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not joking about real panic attacks*.  But our everyday “panic situations”?  Yeah, I’m joking about them.  They’re an overrated pastime.

This was inspired by the “Everybody PANIC!” post over at Visiting Reality. Thanks, Linda!

And since Charles Gulotta over at Mostly Bright Ideas reminded me he wants another flow chart (and he just did a stressed-out post, too)… voilà:  here’s another scary glimpse into the inner workings of my brain.

Charles, this one’s for you.

Is It Time To Panic Yet?

Panic Flow Chart

*If you’ve ever had a real panic attack, you know that on a 0 – 10 Funny Scale, panic attacks are about a -50.  A word of advice from someone who’s been there:  If you have panic attacks, find yourself a medical professional who specializes in cognitive therapy.  You’re not crazy, you’re not a coward, and you’re not weak.  Your brain just took a wrong turn down the logic-path and ended up in the “Oh-shit-I’m-about-to-be-eaten-by-something-big-with-sharp-teeth” parking lot.  Trouble is, it gets in the habit of taking that shortcut, and the longer you let it do that, the longer it takes to break the habit.  And yes, it is possible to stop having panic attacks, it just takes a while.  Go take care of it.  Soonest.  Not kidding.  Okay, I’m getting off my soapbox now.

19 Comments

Filed under Commentary, Geekery, Humour, Life

19 responses to “PANIC!! …Nah.

  1. Ah, that flowchart is made for me. I do get stressed and overwhelmed pretty easily…we writers are a sensitive lot…hah!

    Will print this out, and stick it in front of my study table…I’m serious.
    Thank you for this flowchart!! :)

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  2. Technically, the flowchart should start with an oval start and oval end components :) That is just to make sure that the readers (flow-ers?) don’t hold it upside down. JK

    I have a DONT PANIC poster on my wall. I might add a print out of your flow chart too. After all nothing placates engineers like illusion of logic

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  3. I skip the panic, generally, and go straight to the deep depressive completely self-critical funk. It makes for a very boring flow chart.

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  4. shreejacob

    Love the flow chart! Which all flow charts could have that “really, really??” and the “Um..no” ;) SOPs and other “I’ve been created to only cause you more misery workplace procedures” would be so much bearable.

    hehe!

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  5. Aw, thanks for the mention. :) And I LOVE that flow chart! I think I’ll print it out and stick it on the fridge. *grin*

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  6. Excellent! My husband is also a panicker. He’s nearly impossible to calm down. But here’s my secret. If I get really upset too (a few tears help) – he goes into the protector mode. And his panic subsides.
    I think this strategy might be self-applicable. When you panic, decide to be the adult, not the baby.

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  7. Love the chart! My hubby is the panicker, and I shrug my shoulders at chaos and disintegration. I am, however, trying to figure out where the impending zombie apocalypse would fit on that chart. Oh wait- it fits at the bottom. That’s a relief. :)

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  8. Rat-infested? I never even thought of that. I’d been settling for flies and mosquitoes. Rats are much better.

    Thanks, Diane!

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  9. Tee hee. My husband would be looking at me wryly if he could read this – I’m an every-day panicker (sans panic attacks, thank heavens). I guess you could just call me a nervous nelly or anxious annie. I’m really quite happy but sometimes the whole ‘in control of my life’ goes a little overboard and I get a bit crazy.

    …and then everything turns out fine and I feel sheepish.

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    • As long as everything turns out fine, it’s all good. You’re just keeping your adrenal system in tip-top shape, right? High-performance athletes are so misunderstood. :-)

      Thanks for visiting and commenting!

      Like

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